TTC after Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth or Loss after the 1st trimester ~ OCT07#2

If you have found yourself in this forum you no doubt have had a painful journey. TTC after recurrent miscarriage/stillbirth or Late Loss takes special courage and support. The aim of this forum is to provide a place where women who have endured loss can share their stories, friendships, treatments and triumphs!

My greatest wish is that you all leave this forum with nice big fat positives in the shortest possible time!!!

I hope so much that this month is YOUR month.

If at any time you'd like to make a suggestion, or provide any constructive feedback for this forum, please contact one of your following moderators:

Cailin
Flowerchild
or alternately you may contact Kelly (however she may take a little longer to respond at times!).

We appreciate all your feedback as it does help to make our forums a much happier, relaxed place to chat! We will always take your comments seriously - all comments are treated confidentially...

You will find the previous thread HERE

Hi all
Naomi - Hi again - I know how you feel about the disappearing posts - it's happened to me a couple of times since I rejoined! If you find yours, you may find where mine have gone too...also I lost my icons from the normal quick reply page - I thought the moderators must have thought that I was over iconing...he hehee...never too many hugs I say.
Hi Jo - sorry to hear about the f/s delay...did you mention there may be some hope for this month?
My hopes gone - another negative - and another sad expression from the chemist lady where I buy the pregnancy tests - she even asked if i'd like to get a loyalty card. I reckon I may need it...
If anyone is speaking to Mel please let her know she's in my heart!
Georgie

Hey all,

Georgie - I know what you mean about the sad expressions on the chemist ladies faces, I live in a town with 2200 people so my trouble is that I know the chemist ladies out of work! lol!
I'm still not sure how I feel about delaying the f/s, I feel like we might lose all hope if we leave it to long IYKWIM? But there still might me some hope that we can do it on our on (fingers crossed).

Mel - sending you all my love hun.

Kat - I've completly forgotten what i was going to say to you! LOL! hello anyway!

Hi to everyone else, I hope your all well!

Hi all.. you know I have actually got to the stage where I can't even summon up any inspiration, hope, incentive whatever to test. I have a few tests sitting in the drawer and just can't be bothered seeing yet more BFNs.
So Jo lets just hope you get to see a BFP before you make that appt next eyar to see the FS.
Kat setting up internet can be so not fun lol. DH does that as part of one of his businesses so quite often gets a call saying help! Even more of an issue if you get ADSL / broadbrand and have a security alarm that is monitored..
Naomi I am a lurker/poster lately too lol.
Aunty M how goes it? Do you live in an area where you get to see all the Fall/Autumn colours?
Mel have you thought ahead to when you will do FET?
Georgie I ended up just buying online HPTs and OPKs so I didn't have to see the friendly chemist lady. She is the same age as me and couldn't see why I'd want another child yet she cried too when Annabelle was stillborn.
Klee how are you?
Just sitting back here, waiting for AF so I can ph and start the procedure for IUI.
Early summer days and we have had some major earthworks done like our dam extended and some piles of building dirt knocked flat and levelled. Makes the place loo so much better so I am taking my mind off everything by preparing now to put down lawn. If I am not around much it is because I am outside as much as possible :)
hugs and baby dust or sticky vibes to you all
Jude

Hi everyone!!
Another quick one from me- i am trying to be good and not internet at work- but i am getting anxious and impatient waiting for my net!!
Judy- can your hubby put a hurry up on my stuff ?? LOL i wish!! I may call someone like him to help me- i have NO idea what to do!!!

I will be back when i have more time!!

Love to you all!!
Katti xoxox

OK so AF arrives last night - day 25 - What's that? last month was a 26 day cycle, 29 the one before, 28 before that and 26 before that...I need some serious help with ovulation prediction or just have to stay in bed.
Geeee this TTC is driving me CRAZY....clinically!

boo hoo -

Georgie - I dont know if this helps but my FS and my natural FS tell me that you count it as Day 1 if AF arrives before 6pm otherwise you count Day 1 as the next day ie if AF arrives in the middle of the night you would count Day 1 as the next morning. Does that make a difference to your chart?

I have had a really bad couple of weeks with my sister (seems to be a common problem hey??) The christening she is arranging for my nieces (the week Ethan was due) is now becoming an even bigger event - IYKWIM??? (Feel funny typing it - like I might spoil the surprise if someone sees this)?! She only told me because I had said I would definitely be at the church but may not make it through the whole days celebrations. It was her way of making sure I would be there and as she told my Mum "Its not all about Naomi you know - she needs to get over it"! Anyway, now we have to find accommodation in Adelaide for us and our dog and I have to find an outfit she will approve of!

Mel - Hope you are ok?

Love to you all,
N

howdy everyone.
Jo- so sorry to hear about the f/s holding pattern. i hope some way opens up for you.
Georgie- so sorry for your lost hopes. i wish i had a pill for hope. damn af.
Judy- we have mostly pine here, so less colors than the midwest and northeast. but we have pockets of aspen that turn bright gold. so beautiful and they whisper on the breeze. i hope your outside remedy helps you along.
Naomi- you don't need to get over it, and it is all about you. your sister may not understand how tenuous sanity is after a loss like yours. but you know what you need, so do that and damn the torpedoes.

don't know why, i guess i should stop asking why, but my mood is going down down down today. no good reason other than i miss Yeti.
__________________
Auntie m
Sweet Baby Yeti stillborn March 16, 2007 @ 39 Weeks

hi y'all!

jo- I am sorry you have to be on hold for a while. Maybe your body, in defiance, will go the au naturale route?

georgie- I am so sorry the witch arrived.

Naomi- Sisters can be a real pain in the bum. I don't think I could muster up the strength or forgiveness to go.. so in my book. you are a super STUD! My sister delivered a few weeks after our loss and still gripes at me for ruining her baby shower by calling her and telling her I had just lost Eli. She also has 2 nannies one for AM one for PM and just hired an Au paire from Germany for when she returns to work. I hate to sound evil... BUT I am so angry that someone who has never loved anything more than money and herself and hasn't changed a single diaper (he's 3 mos old now) gets to have a perfect little bundle and I ... well... you know. Wow. I am bitter and mean. ahem, I digress... if you can't go.. don't go. I mean, your heart is healing and its a slow damned process. Give yourself a break even if family won't. HUGS!

AuntieM- I am sorry you are hurting today. I find that your heart and words give me strength... you are an awesome woman and you have my prayers.

I *think* I ovulated b/c I got a temp shift ... but it was on the day of my first pos OPK. So I am confused and irritated. We got in some good lovin' but I am so compulsive I want to know which day I O'ed. Darnit. Im crampy right now... so maybe my temp this AM was on the way up? Heck, I dont know.

Hugs to everyone.
CeCe

Cece - hoping you caught the eggie :pray: Good luck this month - hope to hear a bfp from you very very soon.

Auntie M - :hug: Yeti is giving you a big big hug and knows how much you love and miss him. Why are we always on different parts of the rollercoaster?!?! Maybe so we can be there for each other when the other one is on the down. Big hugs to you babe :hugs:

Naomi - Sisters! I have one like that too - unfortunately there are a few of us. In a way it is good to hear because sometimes I think that it is me with the issues but then reading other people's stories it makes me realise that some people just don't get it and we do expect that those close to us will............but this just doesn't happen. What I have come to realise is that I need to look after myself and that is what you need to do as well. You have gone through so much and continue to go through so much and you need to put your own emotions and feelings first. Big big hugs to you :hug: The common thing I always see is that our sisters have things at certain times that are so precious and important to us. Obviously some of these can't be helped but it makes you wonder.........have we not suffered enough? Stop kicking us while we are already down!!!!

Georgie - sorry that the wicked witch arrived. I hope she is kind to you and that it is the last time she visits for a very very long time.

SB - you've been quiet lately - I hope everything is ok. How have you been?

Judy - good luck for the IUI - sending you heaps and heaps of positive vibes :crossfingers:

Jo - I hope you don't need to worry about the fs appointment - I'm hoping so much that your little body does the trick for you very very soon. I have everything crossed for you and I hope to hear some wonderful news from you soon. Thinking of you :hug:

Mel - :hug: :hug:

Hi to anyone I may have missed - hope you all have a good weekend

Cece that sux about your sister. I thought the idea of havnig children was to be with them after all they are your child, not a pet or a toy. Why have a child if you want nothing to do with it and wow. not even changing a diaper. I know everybody is different but I guess it is not til others walk in our shoes that they feel the real impact of life and its blessings.

Katti, lol about the internet help but honestly if you do need help PM me and I'll give you his ph number.. he has talked people thru the set up even as far as New Zealand lol. We have friends on the Mainland ( about 5 in perth WA) that he has helped too via ph. No charge too lol.

Aunty M it sounds like such a lovely place where you live.

Naomi your sister too needs a reality check. Family who cannot comprehend the grief .. well.. speechless. I guess I am 'lucky' in that my side of the family still comprehend and understand. For me it was my best friend ( who happesn to be a male and married - well he was my best friend back then but since then I have also made many new friends so he has slipped back a bit on the list).. he was going to be Annabelles god-father along with his wife as god-mother. They had both been with us many times while I was pg yet he still couldn't understand the grief so I sent him an excellent book my grief counsellor gave me. I asked for another copy which she kindly gave to me.
It is only a small book but the words in it really make sense and I think to because the author understands grief so wel she has made it easy to read and understand.
I'll have to find the name of it.. I haven't read it now in a couple of years so it is high up on the top shelf in the walk in wardrobe with the clothes Annabelle wore in the hospital and her receving blanket. They aren't washed and never will be. I may be considered odd but I don't care.
I have a small book and it also has a lock of her hair and ink prints of her hands and feet and her notices from the paper. I kept aside a couple of pink new clothes that had been brought for her.

What do any of you have kept as momentos that you will never part with?

hugs
Jude

J- because of how poorly I was treated in the hossy, I have nothing from Eli's life. They induced me for 6 days and my body would just not let go. So, I was sent to a "clinic" where they did a d&e. I remember asking the doc if I could hold him and say goodbye. He was super blunt and hard telling me he would come out in pieces. That sentence ... him saying that... I still wake up in terror dreaming about that. If I could change one thing about the days after I lost Eli, it would be my treatment. I would have demanded a C-section. I was just thinking about what I was going to do to have him with me always... was thinking maybe a tattoo of tiny feet .. then nixed that. Then it hit me... I have 3 scars on my neck from when the hosy put the filter in my vein after the D&e and subsequent clot. Thats all I have... three ball point pen size dot shaped scars. There is a few loss related jewlery stores online and when I can handle having it... I have a necklace all picked out.

Ok I am babbling on.
Love at all of you!
Cece

I have kept anything & everything related to Storm, I wish I had the banket she was in though :(

Jude... I am a chart stalker... is that a dip I see on yours? and have you looked at the charts on ovusoft that relate to post lap? go look :)

HUGS and big time wishes sent your way!
CeCe

Just wanted to pop in and say hello to everyone whom I used to say hello to.

Carry on :P

howdy everyone.
CeCe- ikwym about wanting to know the exact day -- i'm a total control freak. especially when life gets out of whack, i've gotta control what little details i can. dude, your sister is a piece of work, she didn't want her shower ruined by her very own sister's news, the death of her very own nephew?! i am at a loss. if i had more energy, there would be more vitriol here, but all i can do is shake my head and tut tut like my grandmother. i am so sorry about the doctor and his horribly thoughtless words. how painful for you to not have the chance to hold Eli. big hugs and tears. i have a necklace with his name on it and tiny feet, along with a glass baby boy a neighbor artist made. i wear it every day and tell Yeti good morning and good night with a kiss as i take it on and off.
Lynn- perhaps that is the case about the rollercoaster, because you certainly do help me when the plunge hits. it does seem like several of you have some doozy sisters, and i just don't understand where they come from. i have some garden variety misunderstanding, but no one really gets in my face about it. the books helped me too, though, i gave one to my sister in law and she talked to my boss and let him and everyone else know this would be a longer process than they thought (they were thinking a couple of months).
Judy, i kept everything that ever touched Yeti with the exception of the cute little onsie with the blue bunnies we dressed him in and the cap our midwife knitted for him. i just couldn't let him go without something warm on his poor little body. i haven't washed his blankets either. on really bad days, i look for the tiny bloody spots and try to smell just a little of what he smelled like at the hospital. it is never there, though. everything physical is so gone from me. i've his ink prints and some hair, but they are not enough. never enough. it just isn't fair.

Cece I read your weblog and was horrified at the way you were treated at the clinic. There was no need at all for you to be treated like that. OK so the nurses there were used to the other reason for a D&E but any good nurse would know the difference between a wanted and loved baby and unwanted and show due compassion and care. I used to be a nurse ( mind you it was in the field of geriatrics but I loved the other sides of my training as well) and I was horrified you didn't receive proper care and support. :hug:
Thanks for stalking my chart but unfortnately it is not a 'nice' dip.. it is a dip saying don't even waste your time getting out the hpts. I did one anyhow yesterday which I know is too early but my temp did go up again and it seemed hopeful... but today is back down and my mood is pure AF.

Is anyone else in the 2ww?

J- If you could find the name of that book it would be great. Unfortunately I have read everything ever given to me but no one else around me is interested. They all just think I should "get over it" and get on with life. They all think that going to support groups and talking to ladies like you is making me more upset - they just dont get that life will never be like it was for me - there is a new kind of normal for me now and it involves all of you wonderful women and me trying anything I can to keep Ethan in my life somehow. The funny thing is that the only time I get really upset or depressed is when people like my sister say stupid, insensitive things - so following her logic - I should stay away from her so I dont get upset??

I have also kept anything and everything I could from Ethans birth. I just made a collage of photos last night but have been told its not appropriate to put up in the lounge as it may upset people??? I also have a blanket that was made for him by a lovely stranger I met the week before he came. It has a stain on it from him which my MIL wants to wash and I wont let her. I have his urn and a photo on my dresser which I kiss goodby to each morning as I leave for work. I would have loved to keep his clothes but it was very important to me also to have him well dressed (for when he met his great grandma in heaven) and warm as it was a really cold rainy day when we lost him.

CeCe - you are so strong - I wish I could tell my whole family to get stuffed and that I cant go to "the event". But whenever I try to explain how nervous I am about attending I just get "you know how upset your sister will be if you dont go - just go and keep the peace". My sister is a stay at home Mum but has her kids in child care 2 days per week and the other days they are at kinder/pre school. She spends any time she does have with them shopping or doing lunch and as I have said before she partakes in some unhealthy habits, and it kills me that she pops out babies so easily. She actually said the other day that she wondered if she might be pg again and if she was she "would have to get rid of it"!! Someone said a while ago that they wished our loss would happen to their sister so they would understand how hard it is - I feel like that too -unfortunately I wouldnt be able to stand by and watch her suffer so it wouldnt be the same would it??

I found something to wear to "the event" on Friday night after weeks of looking. I took a photo of myself wearing it in the change room and sent it to my sister so she could approve (which she did) and now she tells me the "theme" is pink (and my outfit is black, grey and orange). So she told me I would have to return it and find something else! I am a size 22 so its not a simple task to find something not too expensive (I have had lap banding and dont want to spend too much on clothes that wont fit me withing a month or 2), "flowy and pink" and suitable for a christening and a w#@$%*!.....

Mel - I hope you are ok and being kind to yourself?

All my love to everyone

N

Naomi you are kidding aren't you? Are you the god-mother? I have never heard of having to dress in theme for a Christening. When our children were christened the god-parents and grandparents just wore nice smart clothes like you would to a church do like that anyway.
As for not appropriate to put up pics. well!! I have Annabelles picture in a frame above my computer in my corner of the loungeroom. I also have her in a different picture as my desktop pic on the PC. A friend (aged 64) told me if I had Annabelle as my desktop pic I should also have my other children but I replied I can look around anytime and see them but I can't just look around to see Annabelle.
I have made cross stitch name plaues with angels on them and sent them to a few ladies around the world I have got close to and in all cases they have put them up on their loungeroom wall or their own bedroom wall. They are a reminder that they have a child and that child was born on 'whatever the date is' and is in Heaven, but they are still their child and the parents are still parents. We also run a Mothers Day card exchange even for those who have no living children because as a mum they were still pregnant, felt their baby growing and kicking and then had to give birth. A silent birth is still a birth.
Annabelle was buried wearing an heirloom Christening Robe that MIL had kept for years. Tash put a small teddy bear in with her, Nic put in a chocolate abr caleld Heaven, I put in an Eeyore soft toy with rattle I had already bought for her and my best freinds 12 yr old son put his small Bible in with her. I wrapped her in bunny rugs and lay her on her side like I was putting her to sleep in her bassinette. Then the lid was screwed shut.
Once her brass plaque arrived for her grave we went down while it was laid down and I was actually allowed to be the one to lay it and glue it in place.
So many memories and I have rambled again.
I am so sorry any of us have to be here and in the situation of TTC again or hoping with a new pg and all the worries.
:hug:
Hugs
Jude

Judy, you can ramble all you like hun! Oh & I'm in the 2ww!

Naomi - I know what I would tell your sister! Wear what you brought I say!

we didn't have any clothes to keep from Storm as the hospital didn't have anything small enough, but when she was buried she was wrapped in her sisters bunny rug!

Judy, thanks for reading my blog. Sad thing is, I was Labor and Delivery nurse for years until mom had her stroke. You would think I would have stood up for myself better. But I was so lost and numb and in that place... you know the place I mean... there aren't words created to name it.

Jude, your post made me cry. You are all so amazing.

As for pictures of your angels and where to hang them.... no one should tell you a damned thing about how to honor your angels or honor your loss. Its not the flu.. not something we ever get over.

In fact, I remember each baby I helped deliver that had already flown home. Years before we lost Eli or I grew to adore and value each of you, I cried with your sisters, our sisters. Not a fun club to belong to, I guess, But I am honored to be amongst such amazing moms as all of you.


Blessings to you all!

CeCe

PS: I am in the 2ww too.

Have just read through posts quickly- have a bit to say and not much time
I am trying a new approach
I love telstra- they are going to connect my internet really soon becasue they are so organised- so good at customer service and they are the quickest most efficient company in the world. Lets see if that helps me get connected soem time this century!!! LOL Still waiting- so i am still trying to stay off work comp- but this is getting long and drawn out and my patience is thinning!!! ARRGGHHH

Well i got a faint line yesterday morning- one of my famous we need i microscope to see it but its there lines. ONly day 28 od 30 something day cycle- so i have decided to wait a few days before testing again in hope it gets a bit darker. I am much calmer then the other month- and i am really hopefull they will just get darker- but you know me anything can happen. Yes i am getting the same feelings as last time- not imaging them just trying to stay relaxed!!! NOT EASY!!!! BUt i do feel better this time around. My head feels like it is still on my shoulders not flying aorund the room!!! This is a good thing!!

So ladies i need loads of sticky vibes and anyone with a connection to telstra puhlease put in a good word for me!!!!! (JUDY i may pm you... i will wait until i can actually be connected first thoug- then i am sure i will need Dh's help- especially coz mine has played with my settings!!! )

Naomi_ AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH
Your sister has issues!!! She sounds so much like mine (although have to hand it to mine she does all the hands on stuff- but i am sure she does it with her nose in the air and i bet she changes herself after she has changed a nappy!!!) I feel for you love- i would just not go myself. I just missed my nephews 1st birthday and you know what- i havent felt bad yet- it wasnt what i needed at the time (especially as i got my faint line that morning- i would have been a nervous wreck!!) And your life is about you- not her. Big HUgs dear- and tell her that before you can get over loosing your babies she needs to get over the carrot shoved up her arse!!! Thats far easier to remove than your pain!!!LOL sorry, get carried away some times!! LOL

OK ladies- must start work now- i will be back later

Counting down the days till i have internet at home... i cant wait!!!!!

Love KAtti
xoxox

Kat-- serious serious sticky vibes... go line! go dark! go line! go dark! Man , you are a super stud... I would be wizzing on anything that didn't run away. I will tuck in sticky prayers during Abby's bedtime prayers (she makes em last forEVER) I don't know why I think this but... (intro to crazy cece) I think prayers said by children are the most powerful kind. I know I am daft... but at least I'm cute too.

Hugs to you and everyone!

CeCe

Jude
I am God mother to one of my neices (she has 3 girls who are all being christenend together and each of them has 4 godparents - see what I mean about "an event"??) The "theme" relates to the colours they are wearing and I have been told to wear pink I guess so I won't clash?? I really am not a pink p[erson so have decided to wear grey (matches my mood) and I figure it goes with pink so I will "complement rather than clash".. As I said though there is plenty of me so finding said garment is not as easy as it sounds!

N

kat - :stickyvibes: hon, sprout, snuggle in there and keep giving mummy a darker line, look forward to hearing some good news.
just a quick one from me, my nephew is going in for his skin graft this morning from his tea burn the other week so am a bit pre occupied, i am also just about to tell my boss what is going, cause i figured no time is a safe time this time round, better he knows earlier, just in case anything happens in the next few weeks, i will try and do some catch ups later in the day.

I have a few moments spare so i am back!!

Thank you for all your sticky vibes and prayers- i think they are working- i am running to the loo alot and i am feeling VERY hungry and "funny" still trying to keep my head on my shoulders though, i will be testing again tomorrow morning. ( i did one in the middle of the night last night and it came up as nothing so it put me off doing one this morning) but i guess my levels probably hadnt kicked in yet (which ever ones they are that are there in the morning) i guess as long as AF stays away i am counting myself happy, and the line will only get darker the more days i leave between testing!! POSITIVE THOUGHTS KATTI!!!

KLEE Good idea telling your boss- Will be good for him to know you may be a little emotional etc too. I know i am telling mine right away for the same reasons. :) Hope your little nephew dances his way through his skin grafts!!

NAOMI i think i confused your sis with CeCE's- (about not doing any hands on mum stuff)- i still agree that she has a carrot stuck up.... but any who- i think you should stick with your dress and maybe just accessorize in pink- like have a pink bag, maybe a pink flower for your hair or on your top like a brooch thing or something. Pink necklace etc. After reading your post more carefully- i am also a bit upset at your mum and the rest of the family- why do you have to keep the peace???????????

Also- i have a picture of Zahra that my Grandmother painted in a frame on our shelf in our Kitchen lounge dining area that anyone who walks into our house see's, it is right next to her urn (a silver childrens money box, its Noahs Arc with Animals and stuff) plus cross stiches and other bits and peices. It is important to my DH and i that she is where we are most of the time. It was a big thing for us to bring her home and now she sits proudly on display for all to see. And so she can see what is going on too. I have never had anyone make a big deal in a bad way that she is there- i have only had people be genuinely interested and say she looks like a Princess and say nice things about her. It is important for us mums and dads to have the precense of our angels aound us i think, and also to let other ppl know that they are never forgotten.

I still get so amazed that other people who have never been through this can still feel right to judge how you want to acknowledge and remember your angel. There is no hand book for the right or wrong thing to do- if you want memoriblia around where anyone can see it- then i say put it out there. Maybe it will bring home to your family that you are still effected by what has happened and while they can put it in the back of their minds and try to forget about it- that you CANT and YOU DONT WANT TO! You want to rememebr your angels and they should respect that.
And i get the whole ":you should go to counselling it will make it all go away- talking to other ppl who have been thorugh it doesnt help just makes you more sad becasuse you are sad for them too etc bull S$it from my family- but hey a counsiller aint bringing my babies back and the thing that has helped me more than ANYTHING IN THE WORLD is all of the ladies in here. Stay strong Naomi- we are here for you and we arnt going anywhere!!!! BIG HUGS!!!!!!

JUDY Hey sweetie- i will be pming you soon!!! Apparently i have to wait for them to switch something at the exchange and then i am all set. I have my own modem (which they arn't too happy about!!!) so once that is done i will be on the phone to your DH for some help!!!!


I mentioned a few things i have for Zahra- but mementos i have are her bonnet and things that she was wearing in her photos and blankets from the hospital. We bought her a new pink jumpsuit to where to keep her warm before she was cremated- but i ended up leaving her in that. She was wrapped in a new pink blanket and we put a few of her pressies from the baby shower(strangely enough a Eyore toy ?!?) and a few things for her brother in her coffin with her. Plus some photos and things from us. I took a little while to organise the funeral (had days where i just didnt want to make plans- but i didnt want anyone to do it for me) so i didnt see her between the hospital and the funeral- i kind of wanted to but i didnt. I knew we had set out her coffin so all they had to do as lay her in there which we trusted they did nicely. Shane made the coffin so we had it at home to get it all ready then took it in the day of her funeral for them to place her in. It took awhile to get the ashes- but as soon as we did we went shopping for an unconventional urn- a childrens money box to keep her in. I dont think i could bear to cast her ashes away- even though for some people they can see it as feeing her spirit- i want to keep it close for a while first. I just had an absolutely horrid thought- who will watch her when i die?????? Who will keep her little urn??? I guess who ever has me in one next to her. What a sad sad thing to have to think about. It never ends does it???

Well better do some work cant wait til i am on here in my own time!!!!!!!

LOVE KATTI

:hello:Hi Jo, georgie, Auntie m and anyone else i have missed!!!! You will all be sick of me when i finaly get this on at home!!! I wont miss anyone!!!! LOVE TO YOU ALL!!!

Morning all!

Katti--- um has it been a couple more days yet? Have you POAS? Do you need to pee right now? Think warm running water... bubbling brooks... ice cold cola... swimming...

OK now I have to pee. Hugs, Love and serious sticky vibes sent your way.

CeCe

:

---

Katti--- um has it been a couple more days yet? Have you POAS? Do you need to pee right now? Think warm running water... bubbling brooks... ice cold cola... swimming...

OK now I have to pee. Hugs, Love and serious sticky vibes sent your way.

CeCe

---

ROFL :cryinglaugh:

Seriously though, sending losts of babydust your way Kat!

Did one this morning- got a neg. No more peeing for me till i am late!!! Faint lines and negs do my head in!!

Will be testing again thursday.....

Love ya all!!!
Katti]
xoxoxo

Hi there girls,

just popped in for a quick hello, some new faces I dont know but to you all a big hello I will be back just need some time to catch up with both getting back into the swing of things and all the posts! Had the best trip ever but now just want to hoiliday all the time!!!!!

Hope your all well.

lots of love Nat xx

Welcome back Nat!

welcome back nat, good to have you back, look forward to hearing about your trip and what your future plans are. take care of yourself.
kat - hold on honey, i can feel its going to be good
hi to everyone just having a bit of an emotional afternoon, will come back in tomorrow when i am feeling a little better, and do catch ups then. thanks though cece you made me laugh a little

howdy everyone.
Naomi- too bad you couldn't get someone to READ one of those books. but if they won't it is because they don't want what is best for you, but what is best for them (i.e., you forgetting and going back to how you were before). that hurts, and i'm so sorry. i am hopping mad, though, about not letting you remember Ethan how you want to. that burns me up. you do what you need to do -- you are the MOM and they are standing in your way. how do they think you will heal? by shoving your real emotions under a rug? THAT never goes astray. and WTF on the dress for the christening?! sounds like too much work to me. i'd do something that would torture anyone who asked me such a thing. i'd show up in pink saran wrap or a rented cinderella dress. they would never ask again. or full on black for respect of Ethan (you can rely on emily post for that one) and a spring of pink flowers for your niece. i've got a "theme" for your sister . . . how about giving a **** about someone other than herself? sorry, but i'm mad as a hornet. :angry: i'm so sorry that your family can't be more understanding. :hug:
Judy- good on you for keeping Annabelle's memory the way you wish to.
Kat- :stickyvibesboy::stickyvibesgirl: i think about Yeti's ashes too. i bet i will keep him with me forever, i just can't see letting him out in the world by himself. so i'll likely ask to be cremated with him, and then we can be set out into the world together. that seems right to me.
CeCe- LOL re the whizzing on anything that doesn't run away. and the daft but cute comment. you keep me smiling. :cryinglaugh:
Klee- good luck for your nephew! what an ordeal.

__________________
Auntie m
Sweet Baby Yeti stillborn March 16, 2007 @ 39 Weeks

Hi all!

katti- I still feel in my bones that you are with child... hang in and hang on. I am praying for ya.

Naomi-- so I had a thought... find a flowing sheer pink dress (gag) and some seriously loud dark skivvies... like a bright deep purple thong and bra... so she will be super happy you conformed... UNTIL the pics come in and there's your butt and boobs in all thier glory... I triple dog dare you! hugs and love sent your way.

klee- sorry you have had an emotional day hun... you are in my thoughts and prayers.

AuntieM- I like the idea of being set free with Yeti... brought a tear to my eyes... totally beautiful.

Love to everyone!!!
CeCe

Just a quick one to say thanks to everyone for your support last week. We are going ahead with another cycle this month so here we go again...

Take care everyone :)

howdy everyone.
CeCe & Naomi- rotfl! i love the triple dog dare, and it is so poetic! and so "gotchya"!
Mel - oh Mel, i so hope this cycle is the one for you! i'm in your (full) cheering section!

my cold is on the way out, knock on wood!

Hello!!

Very quick from me- i am at work and about to head home to set up my net!! YAY

To the girls texting me- i am sorry i have run out of credit!!! I am getting more today but its why i have not replied!!!! Sorry!!!

Still no BFP- only BFN's (but the ink went weird- definately no line but it was weird.... ?????? ) Af due today or tomorrow- Not feeling much either way, trying not to obsess too much!! LOL Yeah right!!!

Will test again in the morning if no AF- and fingers crossed i will be connected when i get home so i can tellyou all abiout it!!

Hiope to be cybering soon!!

Lov Katti
xoxoxox

:happyforyou::happyforyou::happyforyou:

i am soooo happy for me!! I have the internet on at home now so i can belly belly 24/7!!!

Yes ladies, after two long weeks of waiting i have my BFI Big Fat Internet!! Its been the longest TWW in my life!! LOL Thank you to teltra, my boss and everyone else who has helped this to happen!!! YAY!! I'm so excited to see Belly belly on MY COMPUTER!!!! How radical!!!

Now for my real tww stuff..... as per usual for me... nothing new to report. My faint line is gone- but still no AF. I will test again in the morning in hope that the universe has been hiding my BFP from me until my internet got connected. I can only hope!!

It is quite surreal to be "in here" while i am at home. Instead of being locked away in the little office- i am sitting at my dining room table looking out across tree's and the highway. And Zahra is here with me too which is something i havent had before... i nearly feel like bringing her over to say hi to all of you through my computer- how strange is that?? I am just happy i can look over and know she is close now while i am talking about her.

And i am surrounded by my animals!!! Dont be suprised if my typing starts to go completely nuts because my cat walks accross my key board!!! speaking of which the kittens are all growing nicely!! They are starting to find their feet and get some stability!! And they are starting to play with eachother!! They are very cute!!

Ok- now to do some long awaited personals!!!!!
But first i am going to have a good read thru the posts i have only scanned through in the last few weeks (there was one there i scanned about klee giving a "virus" i panicked and thought that a real internet virus had been spread!! I read a bit closer and it was all ok!! LOL but i think i need to have a good read thru now i have plenty of time- might even make a cuppa!! LOL i love this internet at home s#it!!!! sorry its gonna take months for the novelty to wear off!!!

I'll be back soon!!! Love Katti

LOL! Kat, glad the net is finally set up!!!

how is everyone?