TTC after Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth or Loss after 1st trimester ~ NOV/DEC 07

If you have found yourself in this forum you no doubt have had a painful journey. TTC after recurrent miscarriage/stillbirth or Late Loss takes special courage and support. The aim of this forum is to provide a place where women who have endured loss can share their stories, friendships, treatments and triumphs!

My greatest wish is that you all leave this forum with nice big fat positives in the shortest possible time!!!

I hope so much that this month is YOUR month.

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Cailin
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or alternately you may contact Kelly (however she may take a little longer to respond at times!).

We appreciate all your feedback as it does help to make our forums a much happier, relaxed place to chat! We will always take your comments seriously - all comments are treated confidentially...

You will find the previous thread HERE

wow looks I am first on the new thread. Wish I had good news to share with you all but I don't
Temp is down, pre-AF migraine, cramps, back ache and the internet test and chemist test were both stark white with FMU. :cry: to get so clsoe and have hope again only to have it all dashed yet again. I can't even say why does this have to be so hard coz it my case it is age.
Hopefully we'll see some of you other lovely ladeis though get bfps.
I am taking my head and flashing light vision away.. gosh you wou;dnt believe how many typos I just had.

hugs
Jude

Sorry to hear that judy- big hugs, i dont know what else to say, jsut know i am so sorry. oxox

Judy - hon I too am sorry to hear what you are going through, you don't deserve to be cruelly teased like this, the only words that come to mind are curses:angry:, I'm so upset and annoyed for you and can't imagine the feelings you are having. Just know we will be here for you whenever you need us. I know this wont help but i think we need a huge :grouphug: for Judy and all you wonderful ladies.

damnit Judy. i am so sorry. like Klee said, i know it doesn't help you at all, but still, damnit. and worse if they would let me swear on this thing. big, big hugs to you.

Jude - im sorry too! :hugs:

Thank you :hug: spotting now so that's it. another one down.
Is anyone else due to test so I can cheer along a BFP for them?
hugs
Jude

Goodmorning Everyone
How are you all going?

Judy- :grouphug: I agree with klee- we need one of these for you!!! sorry to hear that the fat lady is singing- i was still keeping a tiny bit of hope for you. I would love to come up with an inspiring little tid bit to make you feel better- but i'm afraid i am in a crappy mood- i have my enitre cranky suit on- accessories and all- and my brain can not find anything to soothe- i can only offer to join in any sadness or anger you are feeling- i am right with u there!!! Take care love- i'm so sorry.

i think jo will be due to test sooner than me- i am attempting to wait till fri- i hope someone can bring some good news in here soon.

I am a little scared of my mood in the last few days- i have been really cranky and sad- and i get vicious and mean towards DH and i cant help it- i just cant keep my temper so i shut off and just start snapping. It doesnt feel good - yet i cant seem to stop doing it. I am looking forward to this energy lift in a week- i think i need a lift.

I am going to go and get some breakfast- my sleep in hasnt helped my mood- maybe a good feed of bacon and eggs will.

xoxox Katti

Starbright - Yum bacon and eggs - do you deliver? haha im stuck at work have been here since 6am and i so could go for bacon and eggs! :)

Sorry hj- no delivery- but i can tell you my bacon and egg roll with cheese tastes devine!!! ;)

Thanks for that! my stomach is grumbling BIG time now :(

Hey hj- i noticed you r still at work- wanna know what i am having for lunch?

haha hear we go - whats for lunch? :)

PIZZA!!!!
Yummy!!! Cheese pizza!!!

Oh Judy I am so sorry it wasnt to be this month :hug: I was so sure it would be with those lines... I will be :pray: for next month!

Hi girls
Mel - love that ticker gorgeous! And great to hear you have a stack of blood tests up your sleeve!!!!
SB - fingers crossed for you...have you done a sneaky test yet? He he sorry just because I'm weak doesn't mean everyone else is too.
Judy - so to hear this month may not be the one! This month was the same for me...
Klee - 15 weeks MY GOSH - your ticker is flying!!!! how are you feeling?
Hi to everyone else.
My news...Shi&&y...My state of mind...completely nuts...my hopefully feelings....BIG ZERO.

This month was a real pest. Firstly I had the negative test in NZ but when I got home still no AF....I re tested on day 29 and had a very, very faint line, day 30 very faint line no AF, day 31 very faint line no AF then bloody old day 32 faint line then AF arrives while I was out for dinner. As I'm usually 26 - 28 days I was getting pretty hopeful.
I wanted to scream and had that old familiar feeling of being a bit trapped in the sadness. Because we were out I couldn't cry to DH and tell him how disappointed, messed up and tormented I felt and although we were out with close friends I didn't have the emotional energy to first tell them what high hopes I was beginning to have and then finish with the "but AF just arrived two minutes ago".
the general feeling is that perhaps a little something was fertilised but ONCE AGAIN didn't hang in there for the journey.
I had really hoped this month as I had started on the vitex (recommended by a gorgeous BB gal) and literally did the legs up (to much information) and thought maybe, just maybe, it was our turn for a dream to come true.
As I truly believe good news is catching...and some of the BEST news has occured this month....I thought everything was pointing the right direction.
Friends of friends had a baby a few weeks ago and called him Charlie (which was the name we had chosen for our little boy) I saw him this morning (completey GORGEOUS) and I felt so jealous that they were grinning from ear to ear cuddling up to their Charlie. Booo hoo
I wish I had a crystal ball because if it is time to try try try and move on then I would rather not stand up for the monthly whack in the heart. Goodness that sounded twisted (sorry) but I'm starting to feel as if my determination is slipping.
Well that's just today anyway...
PLEASE someone share some more good news - love Georgie

Hey all,

Judy - {{{HUGS}}}

Nothing to reprot here yet, won't be testing till I'm late, which is not till wednesday!

How is everyone?

PS...I am Day 9 of a 28 day cycle...has anyone got any tips/advice/spells/ANYTHING that we could try this month.
Also how do you do those tickers that shows what day of your cycle you are up to...I think it's time to get one of those...g

georgie - what have you been doing so far? opks, temps? anything like that? with your vitex did you stop taking it after o?
also for a ticker just look at anyones and you will find a website address (there are many to chose from), go to that and follow the instructions, then paste it in to you signature. let me know if you a hand

Hi ladies. I am new to this so please bear with me. I found this wonderful place shortly after I lost my son Anthony on November 14 (19w 2d). It was devastating because we had no signs that we lost him and just wanted to find out his sex. I just wanted to thank you because it has helped so much to know that I am not alone. I am going to the doctor tomorrow for a follow-up and to review all the tests they did on my son. I am praying for some answers especially because my husband and I plan on TTC as soon as the doctor says we can.

I wanted to let you know that you are all brave women

Anthonysmum, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, its so devastating to hear another angel has grown wings too soon. I pray you get some answers tomorrow, just know we'll be here for you for support if and when you are ready to ttc. I know when i first came in here ttc was the last thing on my mind, i wasn't ready to ttc, but they were just as supportive as if I was. again I am sorry for your loss.

Hi Anthonysmum, I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your precious angel Anthony, please know that we are all here to listen & support you!

jo - good luck for the next few days, praying for some good news for you.

Hi Anthonysmum - I too am so sorry you suffered the loss of angel Anthony. Jo is right though - we are all here for whatever you may need...whether that is talking, venting, screaming... Sometimes just knowing that there are others around you to support you can get you through even the darkest of days. I hope your OB can help you with some of the millions of unanswered questions you must have...we'll all be thinking of you...
Klee and Melthanks for the ticker tip! - Klee I've been beside myself since reading your post. I didn't stop the Vitex after O. I feel so stupid. Please tell me this wouldn't have contributed to the faint line day 32 cycle. This was never mentioned!!!! I could scream (cry actually). I've been doing the Maybe Baby thing - and as Mel and I have discussed before it is all over the shop. Time for a brand new start.
JoHi Jo loved the family pic (have I already said that) - I also noticed your mood - so a big hug to you.
Georgie

Georgie - sorry hon i didn't mean to scare you, i don't know much about vitex but i just read somewhere on bb, I'll try and find where it is and put the link in, to stop taking it after o. i'll get back to you. just disregard what i've said until i find it, i don't want you getting upset unnecessarily.

My doctor's appointment today was not very revealing. All of the tests are not back yet (I lost my son just under three weeks ago). I have to wait another three weeks. So far all they can tell me was there was no problem with the placenta. I hate waiting. Oh and I am fine physically. Not that I care about that.
How long did you all wait to TTC? I wish I could start right now.

Barbara

Anthonysmom, i have usually waited a little while before trying again- just to get an emotional grasp on myself befroe i dive in again- everyone is different- physically i dont think you HAVE to wait- unless you think that something will come back in one of the tests to assist you in getting preg or something you might need to do to keep little bubs growing.... i would wait for the test results and then go from there.

Please make sure you take time to grieve for little boy! Cry and scream and yell if you need to- <<Big Hug>>> good luck for when you start trying again. Feel free to be here or the preg threasd before you are even ready if you need to- i know it helped me to Be ready just popping in and hearing the inspiring stories.

Take care xoxox

StarBright - Thanks. I have been popping in on these threads for a week now and I have found them most helpful. Trust me when I tell you yelling, screaming and crying. . . a lot - has been what I do best these days. I think that I am still in shock that I am not pregnant anymore. I guess I thoight once I was in my second trimester that I wouldn't have to worry anymore. I miss my son and think about him every minute of every day.

Barbara

Barbara - i think kat is right, just wait until you get the results before thinking about ttc again, hopefully they will find something so this wont happen to you again. also just go with how you are feeling, no feeling is right or wrong and if you feel its time to ttc again, then its time, only you can decide. i understand what you mean about not having to worry after the 1st trimester, we were well into our third when we lost, the thing is nobody tells you about these things happening. I really pray that they find an answer for you and you can start ttc'ing again soon.
we started ttc at approx 3mnths and it took about 3/4 to fall, i truly beleive accupuncture/chinese medicine was the thing that got me there, it helped with both my physcial and mental state, but i'm not going to preach. we are only just into our 2nd tri, and I am all too aware of the losses that can happen, but the thing is you have to move forward for your heart and for your sanity if nothing else.
sorry for the babble and i hope that made sense
georgie - still looking for that post, work interrupted me

Barbara - I am so sorry to hear about your son Anthony :hug: You have come to the right place for support. I think the other girls are right about waiting for your results to come back clear, after that (as Klee said) you are the only one who can make that decision. There is no right or wrong answer, just what you feel you need to do. My DH and I started TTC as soon as AF returned, although for us we had trouble falling and in the end turned to IVF. I felt alot of guilt towards Nicholas for trying so soon but over time I realised it was completely normal to feel that way, so I wanted to say to you that if you do decide to start asap, just remember you should not feel guilty or disloyal towards Anthony, he just wants his Mummy and Daddy to do whatever it takes for them to be happy. Take care of yourself, we are all here for you :hugs:

Georgie - I would so love to give you some advice about TTC but you know my sitch so really I can only give you a big :hug: I guess you have already thought of DTD ALOT! :dunno: ;)

Jo - :crossfingers:

Hi everyone else - I am being really naughty cause I am at work... but I am soooooo bored!

Thanks ladies. I know I need to wait and give my body and mind time to heal. We don't plan on TTC for a few months, I just want to be pregnant so badly. Somehow I just think it would help with this terrible pain. It didn't take my DH and I long to fall (2 months) the first time so at least I can hold on to that.

Hi All
Anthonysmom - I understand exactly how you feel about feeling shocked at not being pg. I too found that the hardest to come to terms with. I would still rub my tummy all the time - and then some seconds later remember what happened. Each time it happened I felt a jolt of physical pain in my heart. Still now I find it hard to believe that it all happened...like most of us...I only ever heard the occasional heart breaking story of late loss. I'm pleased you found BB - things happen for a reason - and i know how important and supportive this group of courageous women have been for us.
Klee - you are so sweet. Please don't stress I can find the post. You just rub that tummy for me and send off some lucky vibes!!!!! Thank you so much for caring enough to say anything - I can look into it.
Mel - Thank you Thank you for the other info - That's a great plan - I still believe that blood clotting has SOMETHING to do with our problems - considering the clots I lost at 18 weeks when I was pregnant with DS and the strange clots with Alfie - initially I tested positive to the clotting disorder but on re testing it was a negative. - I still think (she says with absolutely no medical background) that it's something to do with clotting. I think I'm rambling now. Anyway what about you? How are you travelling... any wonderful symptoms...BTW I hope you have your baby on 4 August - that's my birthday.
Hi Jo Hi Judy
love George

Ok...just noticed my new ticker isn't ticking on...I think I've missed the activation step...whoops

Your welcome Georgie :) Baby will be born a little earlier than due date because of the clotting disorder. Just as a matter of interest for you, in December last year my level of ACa was positive at 10 but my most recent test (a few months ago) was borderline at 5 (under 5 is considered neg) and my OB said that the levels can fluctuate up and down so a reading so low does not mean the antibodies have gone away just maybe lying dormant. MORE food for though huh ;)

No symptoms yet - apart from being tired and hungry... no m/s as yet.

I did notice your slider was missing in your ticker but didnt say anything cause thought you must have wanted it that way LOL - now that I know... Georgie, you missed a step in your ticker :D

Welcome Barbra and I am so sorry you have to be here. :hug: for Anthony. I wanted to TTC straight away but had to wait firstly 6 mths as I had a c sec (31 wk umbilical cord problem - wrapped around her neck) but I healed really quick so was allowed to TTC at 4 mths but it stil took us from August 2002 until Janaury 2004 to get a BFP. And since then it is now 3 yrs this cycle since we started TTC a siblig for Samuel and after 3 losses I just don't think we will ever get our last baby.
Most Drs will say that once you are physcially healed it is up to you when you are emotionally ready to try again. Good luck when you do.

Georgie there are a multitide of different ideas about vitex and each naturpopath is different just t make life more difficult!! Due to having losses i was told if I got pg agiain to continue to take it til 12 wks to help with progesterone as vitex has been known to assist in preventing m/c.. however with Joey I started dropping back the amount bit by bit so from 2 tablets to 1&1/2 at 6 wks, 1 at 8 wks, 1/2 at 10 then stop at 12... I didn't want to go thru a suden drop.. but lost Joey at 11w4d. So next time I decided I'd do as i was told and take the same dose every day all the way thru t the 12 wks.. but spotted and lsot him to infection at 7wks.. so if there is a next time i will just stop it as soo as i get a good beta or a very dark bfp.
In the meantime I take it every day all cycle thru. I was taking 2xblackmores tablets (660mg each) but now I just take the nature's own or Godlen Glow 1000mg one a day. They do help with my PMS dragon moods and also stop the AF headahces which I can get lasting a week at a time and incurable with anything even like panadeine. ouch.
The only time you don't take vitex is when you are on a clomid cycle and then you stop from cd 1 until about a week after the last clomid tablet.. so I was told anyhow.
My clomid cycle was a waste of tablets and moods and pain... I am not tkaing it this cycle as everyone here is sick and if I get it I know my chances this cycle are nix so I won't waste it on the off chance.
hug to all
Judy

Judy - Ouch for the headaches and thank you so much for all the vitex info. Truth be known I'd stand with a pole up my bum, naked in the garden for ten hours a day if I thought it would help with the TTC he he he - (TMI sorry). Where are you up to with your cycle? I will still keep my fingers crossed for you this month. This is my last month before the F/S. We had this mythical "let's just see what happens until the end of the year" well nows it's bl***dy December and I'm getting desparate..
Mel - gee I was sooooo close with that ticker...I was really proud of myself too...I didn't even notice I was missing the thingo!!! well back to the drawing board. I've just got home from netball so it will have to wait until tomorrow. I LOVED to hear about the bloods/clotting that gives me somewhere to start when I get to see Mark. My OB was always so dismissive (remember my hissy fit when he told me I was barking up the wrong tree) and i actually never got the levels. Right...he's on my list for tomorrow - poor thing may need a restraining order against me soon. Tired and hungry - love it - that's my perfect day just so long as you get your needs are met (which i hope they are) - eating and sleeping - hmmmmmm. How's DH? I'd love to hear how he was when he heard the fab news.
Klee - how are you sweetie? Hopefully you're rubbing that tummy and resting up.
Barbara - hope the days are treating you kindly...please ignore my earlier comment about the pole I would hate my silly sense of humour to scare you...I don't always talk like that.
LeeThinking of you especially...as mentioned before I hope you're getting some time for yourself right now...special white light to you and your darling family.
Night all - George

hi, just introducing myself,
im mandie, and im a little bewildered on here, there are soooo many places to post and
im not sure where i fit in,
so im posting all over the place to see if i have the right place, lol,
im trying to concieve, and have been since january, after 2 still borns in 2006, jan and november,
im due to start trying next tuesday and test on new years eve,
hope everyone gets results they want soon
mandxx

georgie - I don't know if you noticed but I am from New York. Almost nothing scares or offends me. And hey let me know if the pole works. I'll try anything.