For your grandmother you can buy ensure pudding from the chemist which is absolutely delicious, usually served 3 times a day. Or instead of sustagen try twocal drinks, they actually have higher calorie content than sustagen. If money is an issue Milo made with full cream milk is just as good as sustagen.
At the place I work, the residents usally have their main meal at lunch.
Breakfast usually consists of porridge, toast, prunes and a boiled egg.
Morning tea is a small piece of cake or crackers with full cream cheese and tomato
Lunch is usually roast meat with vegies, or a pasta dish. Fridays is always Fish and chips. (its the only day everyone eats their lunch)
Afternoon tea is fruit, or a piece of cake or some yoghurt
Dinner is something small, usually a pasta bake, sausage rolls, sandwiches
My only other suggestion for you is to speak to a social worker at your local hospital and get them assessed by the Aged Care Assessment Team. They may be eligible for an aged care package, which may include someone coming around to help with house work and meals on wheels.
It will also mean that if within 12 months of the assessment being done either of them require full time care, the assessment process is already done and you dont have to waste time doing it before looking for permanent placement.
Clare, thanks for the suggestions. We have been talking about getting them assessed for a couple of months now (we have gone through the process with Nanna's sister and my MIL has done it with her mum, so we know the system a little). Pop agrees Nanna might need it, but flat out refuses to get himself assessed. I can so understand that they are reluctant. But it is really frustrating for us. They are so proud. He's the kind of person who can barely walk to the front door, but will still change his own tyre - and if it kills him.
We have been trying to convince him to stop drivung (he falls asleep mid-conversation sometimes) since he had a stroke last Christmas, but he insists that his doctor said he's fine to drive. If his doctor saw how many dings he gets on his car every week, he wouldn't say he's alright to drive. But this is a whole other issue.
If you ask me, it would be best if they both were in a home or at least had some in home care. But they don't want to do that and I actually understand them. It must be so hard to admit to yourself that this is not just a temporary situation, but that you are not going to get better. They are still of that mindset that Nanna is just sick, but the doctors will sort her out and then she'll be a spring chicken again...
Nanna has actually been prescribed some sort of nutrition shake. I don't know what it is, but it is apparently made for her exact situation.
Sorry for rambling on and on. It is actually so good to share, though. It really weighs on my mind a lot...
Thanks for listening.
Saša
Sasa, I just wanted to say what a lovely grandaughter-in-law I think you are I'm sure they appreciate everything that you do for them. I hope things get a bit better for them, and that they can live out their remaining years in peace and good health, surrounded by family.
My 2.5year old daughter's 90year old Great-Great Uncle (on DP's side of the Family) lives around the corner from us and he started getting Meals on Wheels (his wife passed away years ago) about 2months ago but even though he isn't much of a fussy eater her often tells me he truely doesn't enjoy their meals and he wants to stop getting them soon and instead go to a Senior Citizens Centre that provides a two-course meal for about $6 that can be eaten at the centre (unfortunately they don't provide home delivery)
Smiles4U, I think it is great that your daughter's great-great uncle wants to actually go out to eat. I think this would be great for him to actually go out and socialise. People who eat alone tend to not enjoy their food and especially seniors often get depressed and lose their appetite when their all by themselves. So going and eating in company is fantastic if he's fit enough to do it.
Maybe he could do a combination. Maybe get Meals On Wheels 4 days a week and go out 3 days a week?
By the way, the thing we suggested to DH's grandparents wasn't actually Meals on WHeels but some other company offering the same service. I can't remembre what they were called, though. Not sure if they're any better.
Saša
Rivlas, I don't know their doctor at all and seeing that I'm "ONLY" their grandson's wife, they wouldn't let me go to the doctor with them. Their own daughter had a hard enough time getting them to let her come with them when she was here for a visit.
You are very right, though, what they say about their health is usually far from the truth. When Pop had a stroke last Christmas, he didn't tell anybody, didn't want to go to hospital because he was afraid they would take his licence. My FIL (their SIL) went over to visit them and noticed Pop was slurring his words and his face was drooping on one side. Turned out he had the stroke about 24 hours before that, but wanted to keep it a secret. Lucky my FIL just called him an ambulance although Pop was lamenting that it wasn't necessary. He ended up spending 2 weeks in hospital. He's much better now, fortunately. But it just shows the lngths he'll go to to remain independent.
Can you ask the nanna to tell you how to cook her favourite meals? She can just sit down and tell you what to do. If it's her favourite she might be more inclined to eat it and also you can dress it up as her doing you a favour by teaching you which might be easier on their pride.
Does this bring back memories. How well do you know their Dr. If well, ring just before their next visit and tell him your concerns. Especially regarding help around the house. He can, in his own way, recommend they get help until your Nanna picks up as this will help her get better quicker. Once they start getting the home help, they realise after a bit that it does help and you go from there. With your concern re driving it is worth letting the Dr. know as he would be upset to know about his driving ability. Can you go to the Drs with them and go in with them? I started doing this and was amazed at the things I heard. We are fine usually meant something different. I also went through the same thing with the ACAT and while she was there asked her to do both.
All the best and make sure you look after yourself and don't get run down.
(its the only day everyone eats their lunch)
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I'm sure they appreciate everything that you do for them. I hope things get a bit better for them, and that they can live out their remaining years in peace and good health, surrounded by family.
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