That's tough Bath - 13 is so old and so young. They feel so old, but they're not really...but they're not babies either. So...I've got nothing for you there.

I did want to say though, that with the whole not being able to reach her on the phone thing - as teens, if we didn't call, weren't reachable, or broke any part of our agreement, that was it, we'd done our outings dash for a looooong time. We agreed that with mum and dad at the start of any outing, and it was strictly enforced, so we knew we couldn't get away with breaking our side of the deal.
Just a thought for when the outings do start to take place, that's a good way to get your kids to realise how important it is for them to be contactable - they screw all future outings if they're not!

All the best deciding the boundaries with your dh.