5 yr old... too old to be called 'baby' WDYT?

[mrscricket]

My DS has just recently asked me to stop calling him baby. And 'honey', 'possum', 'sweetheart', 'chicken','darling'.. The list is long. I am a name giver, and he just wants to be called by his name and his name only. I am trying hard to go by what he wants, but it is hard after doing it for the past 6 years

[glenny_c]

Ok. You're right. I absolutely misread the situation. I'd be peeved too if it happened that way!
And to my mind, calling him boofhead is worse than baby. And unwanted tickling I think can be dangerous as it sets up kids to think they don't have the right to set boundaries concerning people touching their body. I think it's really important that kids learn ownership over their bodies and they absolutely have the right to tell people to stop doing/touching them.

Maybe when you say "you'll always be my baby" what your son is hearing is "I know you don't like it but ill keep calling you that. " not saying you mean it that way at all but at five his mind is pretty literal.

I think the other girls have a good point with why don't you ask him what he wants you to call him. I would just completely take baby out of your vocab for now. You can understand what your mum means when she says it, he doesn't understand yet.

[~clover~]

A lot of people will shorten names & some people don't like it. But they aren't always going to listen too. Ex is Anthony & his mother hated the shortened version 'Tony', but there is one person who still calls him Tony. And its not a big deal to him. Just annoys his mum a little

Our parents purposely gave us names that couldn't be shortened for that reason. DD2 has had the shortened version of her name since she was 4 months old, even though I didn't like it (I started it ) yet DD1 was always her full name. Because if I shortened it ex hated it... yet part of the reason I liked that name, was because I liked the shortened version...

I still have trouble with using the shortened version for DD1, yet that's what everyone except me calls her! And that's what she likes to be called! Not that she's ever asked me to stop using her full name.

I call DS 'dude'. DD3 is 'baby', but she's so different. She's wary of other people, but not as attached as DS. She'll happily go with most others around us, especially if its with the other kids. She doesn't usually accept cuddles when she's hurt Yet DS has only just started to separate.

They're all different & its all part of becoming themselves. And I have to agree that for his own growth & understanding of personal boundaries, he should be able to ask for something to stop & it stops. There are a lot of things I'm realising now that my parents did when we were kids that has shaped us into the people we are today & the reason I allowed the relationship with ex to happen, & the reason my brother is in a similar relationship with his partner... Like being allowed to stand up for yourself.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

OK, I read the Dad bit wrong. Sorry for the misunderstanding. I'd be upset about that too. I come from the perspective of having needed DH and even Sis to get my mother to stop stuff. She ignores all of us so v v damaged relationship.

Why are you not intervening for your DS with his dad? I reckon you now have carte blanche to do that. And it needs it: I have stopped overtickling before, reminding DH the no always means no, and we never teach our children otherwise.

Both Liebs and I have name issues irl. Fine, you can't pronounce my name. I'll do it. You then use that pronunciation, yes? No, it turns out. Liebling hates being called a nickname most other children with his name accept, took his teacher 2 terms to get it. Liebs didn't ask me to intervene there, but we have ensured his next-year teacher knows his name already! It is very disempowering to be not heard about such a vital part of self as your name, qudos to you for listening to your son and resolving it.

[Chocaholic]

We are suppose to have a "same team" moto but it just doesn't feel like it is happening at the moment. I suppose what also frustrates me is hearing DS tell his dad to stop (calling DS boofhead, tickling or whatever) and have his dad continue and when I bring it up with him (while DS isn't around) he dismisses me.

Sorry, I also misread the dad problem. If I was you, I would be supporting your DS whenever he asks his Dad to stop. This is not a "team" thing, it is respect and your DS needs to know that he will be supported when he wants something to stop.

By the way, I don't thing parents need to be a team necessarily. They should have an agreement about fundamentals but children need to see people negotiating and as long as it is respectful, it can only be a good thing.

[BlackCat]

Our parents purposely gave us names that couldn't be shortened for that reason. DD2 has had the shortened version of her name since she was 4 months old, even though I didn't like it (I started it ) yet DD1 was always her full name. Because if I shortened it ex hated it... yet part of the reason I liked that name, was because I liked the shortened version...

We did the same with ours, giving them a name that couldn't be shortened. People now deem it appropriate to add a "y" to the end of the name. People will butcher anything if given half a chance :P

Ive had DS come to me and ask me to approach his teacher to get the cutesy name to stop. He had already asked and they kept doing it, so he sought out my assistance to back him up as it were. I spoke to the teacher discretely and it stopped. In this case it doesn't sound like your DP backing him up though.

I hope you can work something out with DS so you can meet at some happy medium.

FWIW my mum still does the same with me and I do the same with DS in regards to always being my baby. DS hasn't said anything... yet.