OK, I read the Dad bit wrong. Sorry for the misunderstanding. I'd be upset about that too. I come from the perspective of having needed DH and even Sis to get my mother to stop stuff. She ignores all of us so v v damaged relationship.

Why are you not intervening for your DS with his dad? I reckon you now have carte blanche to do that. And it needs it: I have stopped overtickling before, reminding DH the no always means no, and we never teach our children otherwise.

Both Liebs and I have name issues irl. Fine, you can't pronounce my name. I'll do it. You then use that pronunciation, yes? No, it turns out. Liebling hates being called a nickname most other children with his name accept, took his teacher 2 terms to get it. Liebs didn't ask me to intervene there, but we have ensured his next-year teacher knows his name already! It is very disempowering to be not heard about such a vital part of self as your name, qudos to you for listening to your son and resolving it.