Am i a prude for thinking its inappropriate?

[nickle730]

MummaBee, love your honesty.

Miss E, I completely understand where you're coming from, although I certainly don't condemn young girls who dress in skimpy gear. I think the men who ogle these young girls need to be more respectful of the girls, and of women in general. I will raise my son to be respectful of all women (and of other blokes!). But, as a mother and an aunt, I can't change the behaviour or perceptions of all men. So, in order to protect my nieces and in future my daughters, I would prefer they dressed in a more covered up manner. Not because there is anything wrong with their bodies, certainly not because they are 'asking for it', simply because I can foresee, as an adult, that the attention they will most likely receive in their tiny shorts and lacy bra is not the sort of attention they will understand or know how to deal with.

I am certainly not a 'prude'. Nudity is a daily occurrence in my home and I personally don't mind a top which shows off my cleavage! (It's fairly impressive, my cleavage!!) But I am an adult and if my boobs attract attention, I am confident that I know how to deal with it.

I would love to live in a society where women of all shapes, sizes and wardrobes are afforded respect but unfortunately we live in a society where the female form has been overtly sexualised.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I am one of the worst hippocrites here.

Age 14, if my skirt couldn't be classed as a belt, it wasn't worn (and yes, my mother was still in charge of buying all my clothes at this point in time). Strappy tops, micromini skirts and high heels worn to school (for some reason not fastening the top button of a shirt underneath a tie was a uniform offence, but ignoring the whole thing and doing whatever I wanted was fine, even when classmates pointed out what I was wearing to the teachers). I knew exactly what kind of attention it would get me, including in the pub where I'd sometimes go for lunch, and liked it - and knew how to deal with it. Don't think because a girl is young and showing flesh she's completely daft, although she does look it. And it does feel good, you've got to admit that.

Actually, I don't think I did the see-through clothing until I was about 17. And not to school. Also, hot pants are more comfortable than they look, in their defence.

Nowadays, I reckon people should cover up a lot more. I cover myself up a lot more too, even though my figure is probably better than it was all those years ago (even with the post-baby tum). The main reason for it is this: the type of attention you get for your body is just physical. Sure, it buys you a few drinks. But is it worth it? The type of guy who will have an accident leering at a young scantily clad girl isn't the type of guy who wants to discuss intricacies of quantum physics (although we did have a points system for near-accidents caused by whorish outfits).

That and I actually look a darn sight more gorgeous covered up - so do most people. But this has the added bonus that people listen to what I'm saying. And guess what - I still get bought drinks in the pub, but this time by guys who will talk quantum physics with me. Result. And that's why I cover up - and why I'll be enforcing far more modest clothes on my daughter (should I have one) when I'm buying them.

[Maruschke]

I agree with your point, TFB, and I guess that's what I was trying to say too.

Let's teach our girls what it is like to be a woman, not just a body (but including a body too). To be loved and enjoyed not just for our appearance but who we are.

I'd be more pleased if my daughter experimented with the right personality and interests and attitudes that suit her, as she moved from teen to adult, than if that process merely involved clothes.

Then again, perhaps the clothes are reflective of that process, who knows.

[Lulliloo]

I work in a shopping centre and our shop looks out into the centre..... the outfits i see walking past are just horrendous sometimes... i shake my head at what i see.
i actually saw a pregnant womans crotch one day cos she had on one of those dresses that are short at the front and long at the back. so at the front where her belly was pulling the dress up even more i saw even more.
i think young girls are showing off too much skin. it must be hard for parents at the moment because thats all that is around. and i see girls in the bathrooms all the time doing their makeup and getting changing into something less appropriate.

[Traveller]

I have to say though, that even when wearing micro mini skirts as a teenager I abided by the "legs or boobs" rule and I hope I can pass that message onto my daughter. I think women look a lot nicer and sexier if then choose one part of themselves for their outfit to focus on but I think current fashions disagree with me on that point.

[Ohbaby]

I do agree, however I have seen some girls wearing the shorty shorts and they are quite tasteful as they wear a nice top and just have natural hair and no obvious make up over do's- they are lucky enough to have nice legs to show off, I feel sorry for the girls who aren't so slim and attempt to fit into the same outfits I am watching Mad Men at the moment- this would never have been acceptable in the 1950's!!

[Miss E]

Then again, perhaps the clothes are reflective of that process, who knows.

For some girls, I think this is the case. Yes we should be teaching our daughters to be loved and enjoyed not just for their appearance but for who they are, that goes without saying, regardless of how they dress. But I think TFB has made a really good point (maybe unintentionally) - she went through the whole process of the short skirts and attention getting outfits to get to that conclusion. As much as we want to teach and protect teenagers, sometimes they need to learn through experience and experimentation (god knows I did, no matter how hard my mother tried to teach me what I know now).

And my earlier point - young girls often get that undesirable attention regardless of if they're wearing a very modest school uniform or hot pants. It's part of life and a part of life they need to learn to deal with, because chances are as adults they're going to encounter it too, even if they're dressed modestly. Crossing the road is probably more dangerous to their well being than wearing a pair of hot pants.

Personally, if I have a daughter I won't tell what she can and can't wear. Yes I will encourage her to dress relatively modestly, but if she wants to wear hot pants and little tops, I know from my own experience that there is no way I'm going to be able to stop her. And that if I try to stop her chances are I'll just be pushing her away and unintentionally fueling that innate need to experiment, which could ultimately mean she takes her experimentation to even greater lengths.

JMO