Am i a prude for thinking its inappropriate?

[*LittleMissSummer*]

Another thread has got me thinking, actually i've been thinking this for a while, usually after seeing a teenage girl wearing barely anything..

I've noticed quite a few girls aged 12-16 wearing very short shorts (cut offs are what i theyre called ) plus wearing only a bra and a see through top or very loose ones where you can see all the way up/down.

Not only wearing very short shorts where you can see their bum cheeks but very short dresses/skirts. I even saw a girl about 15-17 wearing one of those boob tube bras and a pair of the shortest shorts i just think thats HIGHLY inappropriate attire for in public! It hasn't even been that hot here maybe the highest we've got to is 35 degrees!

My Step MIL said that when she was staying with one of DPs auntys her daughter left the house wearing a top where you could see both nipples and she was 14!

So not only do i think most of what young girls where nowadays is inappropriate but what are the parents thinking letting their daughters walk around like that!?

I was on a bus with DP when a young girl around 12/13 got on wearing one of the examples and i whispered that DD would NEVER be allowed to wear that let alone own them! I then changed my mind and said that perhaps maybe around the house as no one would see her. But i see no need for shorts so short you see their bum cheeks or tops that cover nothing. I mean good on them for being confident in their bodies but no one wants to see it.

So am i a prude?

[glenny_c]

I don't think you're a prude hon. I think there comes a time when it is the parents job to protect their children. We may not like the fact that scantily clad girls/women are seen as sexual objects but the sad reality is that for some people that is the case. I think a 12 year old girl is too young to understand how others may be viewing her dressed like that so it is up to the parents to protect our daughters from being veiwed in that way and possibly harmed.
Do I think it's sad and wrong that this is the case?- yes I do. But sometimes you need to accept that the world is not the perfect place we would sometimes wish it to be and teach our children about the reality of the world.
At home is a different story as I would hope that my children feel comfortable enough to wear anything (or nothing) at home with us. But teaching them about appropriate dress for outside the home is all part of being a responsible parent and equipping them for how life really is.

[Rivlas]

Nope

[Saffy]

No I agree with you

[Charlotte91]

No! I think it's horrible what teens wear in public.

[Maruschke]

I think it is important we teach our daughters to love their bodies, feel comfortable in their own skin, to not hate their nudity, etc etc. But having positive body image DOESN'T need to correspond to body flaunting. I think that is the message that gets lost.

They need to know they are beautiful within themselves, instead of getting that message from the looks of approval of men and friends, from wolf whistles and winks.

FWIW I think the most beautiful and sexy women dress classy, not skimpy.

[Amity]

Susie O'Brien has a blog on today about Deborah Hutton (she's 50) doing a full frontal nude photo shoot for Women's Weekly (or some similar). The blog is all about how we should be comfortable in our own bodies and not worry about photoshopping photos etc.

Certainly teens these days wear different things from what I did. The whole Goth scene was something different - I don't recall that being around when I was younger (or, more probably, I didn't move in circles where that was acceptable).

On the whole, I think your attitude reflects your upbringing. I was brought up in an upper-middle-class suburb, went to top-notch private schools and then onto law at university. It's a fairly sheltered upbringing. My attitude to dress is well in accordance with my upbringing.

If I had a different upbringing, then I would probably have a different attitude.

[Maruschke]

I saw her nude shot. She looks great for her age. She managed to pose without being provocative. It was well done I think .

[Heaven]

Nope. You'll never see my girls wearing that. Revolting!

[Rouge]

Everyone has said the same thing about every generation. And some generations have been worse than ours if you look at the fashion. Class and education have nothing to do with it. What gives me the irrits is women who aspire to be that way as adults yet pick on teens for doing the same. Pot kettle black much? Giving your children a healthy body image and self worth is more than just preventing them from wearing certain clothes or we wouldn't have so many women with eating disorders be it overeating or not eating at all. No my children dont wear slinky clothes. But they also don't see their mother doing the same or better yet admiring those that do. And I would rather teach her that it just looks gross rather than telling her about a message it gives. Because really women should be able to wear whatever they want to and not fear the wrong attention. But we still haven't evolved. And we still make excuses for men like they are some poor helpless animal not in control of their impulses. Rubbish.

[Rouge]

I get what you are saying. And I too don't like it. Whether its on a toddler, a tween, teen or twenty year old. And regardless of understanding ones sexuality the fact is the reason behind why a teen does it or why a twenty year old does it is no different. They just rationalise it with maturity. Which IMO is bollocks. They are both wanting to impress other men and are made to believe that more skin = hot. It's even been said in this thread. To get a man to love you does not mean you need to pretty much tell him what you would look like naked without actually being naked. My point is the focus on women being objects starts with our generation and it's sadly more the women who teach it to the next generation.

[Miss E]

Ok, I'm going to go against the grain here and say I don't really see it as a big issue.

From where I sit it is just another form of teenage experimentation. It is one way that these girls are learning about and exploring their own sexuality, they are curious to see the effect that they can and do have on the opposite sex (and probably old fuddy duddies like us) and learning how to use it. Now, I'm not saying that it's a good thing, but in my eyes it just another way they are learning about the world and the way it works.

If I have an issue with anything related to this topic, it is grown men who outwardly drool over these young girls - in my opinion that is inappropriate and what we as a society should focus on. We should be teaching young boys about respect for women etc and condemning the men who believe it is ok to objectify young girls and women rather than telling girls to dress differently.

And as one poster said, even if as parents you don't let them out of the house wearing those clothes, you can't stop them changing into them once they leave. And if you refuse to buy them those sort of clothes, there's nothing to stop them cutting their jeans or borrowing their friends clothes. Ultimately, if a teenage girl decides she wants to experiment in this way, you're not going to stop her. And if she's anything like I was as a teenager, the more you try to stop her, the further she will push the boundaries. What you can do is empower her. Help her to see that the sort of attention it creates isn't necessarily the attention you want to be getting from men. But let her reach that conclusion herself.

JMO

[Rouge]

I see what you are saying. But I guess in my experiences I see more women objectifying themselves than I do men. And baring skin shouldn't be a problem.

This reminds me of a male teacher we had in high school. On hot days we would all have water fights. We were a small school and everyone was close. So boys and girls were friends. Not much sexualisation went on. Not by other schools standards anyway. The male teacher called a meeting with all the girls asking us not to wear lacy bras to school when if we were going to throw water at each other. The boys were disgusted as were us girls. They didn't throw water on us to see our bras. And we certainly didn't choose sexy bras for wet t shirt competitions. We were all having innocent fun. Yet it was tainted by one perverted man. Who was led by another prudish teacher. Who funnily enough dressed in short skirts and low cut tops to school and you could see her bra. Without her shirt being wet! She was the one who instigated the whole thing because she was worried how he felt. I have to wonder if it would have even bothered him I she hadn't made such a raucous about it. In the end she ruined some innocent fun and made all of us think he was a pervert.

ETA: And I know I'm rambling.. but like others I don't think it's completely cut and dry. I think there are genuine people out there who have fun with clothes, aren't looking for "attention" or anything like that. But sometimes I see such double standards when women judge younger women, yet either did the same or continue to do the same as adults. There are so many aspects to the argument, so many variables that can be argued. It just sucks that we can't be ourselves no matter what we wear, do or say without stereotypes following us.

[nickle730]

I just want to be clear that I don't judge young girls such as my nieces who wear short shorts and tops which reveal their bra. I agree, as a PP said, that they are exploring and experimenting with their emerging sexuality or often just wearing similar clothing to their peers in order to fit in. I don't judge them for this in any way, I simply worry that many young girls, like my nieces, don't fully understand that by presenting themselves in a way which suggests sexuality (be it because of music video's, advertising...) they will often incur attention they are not yet equipped to deal with.

[Miss E]

I simply worry that many young girls, like my nieces, don't fully understand that by presenting themselves in a way which suggests sexuality (be it because of music video's, advertising...) they will often incur attention they are not yet equipped to deal with.

I totally get where you (and others) are coming from with this point. But... shouldn't we be condemning the inappropriate 'attention' rather than person wearing the clothing or the clothing.

Young girls often get innappropriate attention regardless of how they're dressed (I have memories of being whistled at walking past building sites in my school uniform). I think these attitudes we're displaying are just illustrating how repressed women still really are in our modern society, and how we as women often contribute to that repression without even realising it or thinking about it.

[loulabelle]

rouge, fantastic posts.I 100% agree with you. wish I could rep from my phone.

Sent from my GT-S5570 using Tapatalk

[loulabelle]

totally agree miss e.

I have strong memories of encountering very much unwanted attention regardless if how I was dressed.

saying young girls do it for and enjoy the attention is only a stones throw from from saying the are asking to be raped. I think most girls wear what they do because peers do and because its what's considered fashionable at the time.


Sent from my GT-S5570 using Tapatalk