bad school report not doing homework what would you do

[sue1386]

badschool report, not doing homework what would you do .

my daughter is 14 was bullied fo ryears in a previous school

we finally changed her school half was through last year and there were some adjustments there also as she is in a class with alot of boys and very few girls to make friends with.

she probably has had a bad report for a few years but alot was going on and she would hide it and we probably didnt have a chance to breathe and follow it up.

this year i did follow it up and found she is polite but not much else. she doesnt seem top work well in class or for homework. she says that school doesnt give homework but the report says otherwise.

perhaps the only way is to make a meeting with her and the school and chat about it all.

i also am extremely dissapointed in my family who consists of older adult siblings and a very invovled grandparent who could easily read the report and comment in a way that she might listen more than if it was only me saying this and also sometimes they listen to siblings or to more voices more than they do to a mother and to one voice. but the rest of the family seem to love leaving me alone to tacklie impossible situations and just say silly things like' well i cant say anything becasue she says that school has no homework"! they say something when its important to them, why do they love to see me strugglin on my own and deliberately wont say anything that could help when they so easily could

anyway what would you do ?
meeting with school?
punishment
reward if it picks up
explain why its important and how would you explain it.

thanks so much

Sue.

[Muppity]

I'd make an appointment with the school and her and then put it out there - this report says that she doesn't do her homework but she tells me that there isn't any...I'm having difficulty understanding what is going on.

Then ask the school if you can have another appointment in a month to follow up and see if there has been progress. And in the meantime come down on her like a ton of bricks and insist that she sits at the dining table and does her homework every night (or wherever is practical) and that you are happy to assist or proof read things etc.

14 is sort of a make or break age - good habits now will help her do better later on - but not learning to learn now will mean that it just keeps getting harder.

Also, maybe make a deal with her, if she does an hour of homework every night she can have Saturdays off, or can come home later or do something like that.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

The school may operate a homework planner system. Have the teacher write the homework in the book and you check and sign the book every night/week. Have your daughter's tutor check her book once a week: if you have not signed it then she gets detention. You could also stop her going out until you've seen the planner and she's done her homework. Failing that, contact the school and ask her teachers to e-mail you the homework.

You need a meeting with the school to set this up and make sure your daughter is there for that meeting. She needs to take charge of her life and own her mistakes, see that you aren't covering up for her.

HTH and good luck.

[Amaunet]

As a high school teachers I would definitely be making contact with the school as soon as possible. Her Year Advisor (or similar) would be a good start. They should be able to help you make contact with her teachers for this year. Most schools operate with an "assessment schedule" giving a guide to what assignments are to be given and when throughout the term/semester/year - this way you know when she "should" have things to do. A diary is also a good idea - teachers don't have time to write a students homework down for them (nor should they IMO) but definitely have the ability to check a student has written it themselves - for you to see/follow up at home. Check her books daily or every couple of days - often homework is to finish what was begun in class and this will be easy to see.

I would be trying to get email contacts for her main teachers (English/Maths/Science/History/Geography etc) It is a good way to make contact without playing "phone tag" (getting teachers on the phone/teachers being able to get a "line out" can be tough) Ask her teachers to email you when something isn't done - then you can start the "punishments" - I know the kids I teach respond well when their parents take things like their mobile phone and internet priviliges away

You should also be able to ask for a progress report halfway though the term - to gauge how she is going.

All the best with it - teenagers and school can be tough

[sue1386]

thanks. lots of great suggestions to follow up.

this daughter is not the best to ' discipline'

she will walk over to narby relatives sisters home etc, when she feels under pressure and truly anything i have tried does not help her obey rules and i cant tie her down.

phone priviledges and internet privileges we can try again but because she leaves and goes to relatives homes nearby i truly wish they would work together on these issues but they dont. they will all happily sabotage me when their support could make such a difference.

[melhoneybee]

with my students i make them take home any marked assessments to show their parents-they need a parental signature on them which they bring back to show me their parents have seen their work, and i record this in my markbook.

I would make sure she is using her diary to record homework, and check that she is doing it. Every subject should give her an assessment schedule -it is worth having a large desk planner and writing all the due dates straight on it so you can clearly see when major things fall due.

Email is the best way to catch most of us since we are usually in the classroom-some subjects may have homework books depending on the school eg maths, science.