Emmy i started a couple of years ago by getting a book (aimed at young girls) about the whole shebang. We've also had conversations in the pad/tampon aisle at the supermarket. I started her using deodorant last summer, but TBH it's taken this long for her to understand it's something she needs to do every single time after a shower - I encourage her to use a roll-on BUT I've also let her choose some spray smellies at the supermarket too. I think the penny's finally dropped when she's realised how smelly some of her classmates can be.
Re periods - planning to take her shopping over the school holidays - she can choose her own purse and we'll stock it with pads and a spare pair of undies so she can take it to school with her. They've already talked about it at school and she knows if she gets caught unawares that Mrs H in the office will help & she can ring me up, etc.
Re bras - well this one has already come up - DD is still completely flat chested but I've introduced the idea of wearing the little strappy crop tops under some clothes/tshirts when needed to make sure her nipples aren't showing thru. They have a great range of comfy stretchy ones in funky colours, I'm guessing it'll be a natural progression once she's got enough breast tissue to need one most days.
Thank you for all your advise ladies. I never thought of having a little celebration (just her and I) to welcome her into the new stage of her life. Obviously its a little way away but I don't want her to be like me and be completely surprised when I learnt what sex and periods were in Yr5. My parents never spoke to me about it so it came as a complete surprise and I was so grossed out about it at the time and scared. I might get her an age appropriate book or two as I have found now she is harder to talk to about it as she is getting a little embarrassed. I've never denied her answers and details when asked or appropriate but now she seems to be too embarrassed to ask any questions. I really don't want her to be surprised when they do sex ed at school like I was or not be prepared for AF and normal body changes when they occur.
Emmy, think back again to your own experience. What would have made it better for you? Then you can do it with your own daughter.
It should be cause for celebration (imho!), even though we may be grossed out when we are younger feeling part of a bigger picture can help smooth the transition.
what great ideas! I got mine at a friends house on sleep-over. Luckily my friend already had hers & there were supplies & an understanding mum. But otherwise, it wasn't talked about at home. I actually sent away to one of the brands for a sample pack (they're free & they still do it!), so I had some stocks.
My daughter is 11.5 and very pubescent, no bleeding yet, but soon I expect. A celebration is a lovely idea! you could also do some retail therapy of cloth pads or disposables if that's what you want to use - but the cloth ones are so pretty they're special ykwim? I am planning on buying my daughter a red or a moon pendant too.
Awareness and openness is the key I suspect. Instead of buying books and reading them with my daughter, I bought them and left them for her to read with the understanding that she could ask questions if she needed to. That worked well, it saved her from embarrassment, and also made her see that it's just not a big deal so she felt comfortable coming to me with her questions.
one of the things that made it easier for me when i first got AF was the sense of belonging. like others have mentioned my mum and my oma 'welcomed' me to the world of womanhood and celebrated and cherished the moment for me. i have to say that i felt a lot of mourning when i first got it as i felt i had lost my 'childhood'. but being able to see that i was entering a transition of change towards a new phase really helped...
*but luckily no AF parties here either...one of my mates had to endure one! *
I have never heard of an AF party till this thread. It was so tabo in my family. Something never to be spoken so much to the fact that I didn't tell my mother for almost 2years when she accussed me of been late to develop (pads came from my sister and my friends mother whom if she knew my mother didn't know would have called and told her. She assumed she was buying me a few with wings as my mother bought the cheapo's) I would be devastated if my daughter didn't feel she could tell me. I was so upset I got mine so I don't want my daughter's to feel like that.
Lulu thinking back on my own experience as you can see there was a huge communication problem between my own mother (she was raised my nun's after been taken from her parents at 5yrs so I don't blame her from having no concept of how to prepare us) but I certainly can't follow in her footsteps so to speak or even ask her for any advise. She would still tell me its not something to be spoken about. I asked my daughter a few little questions yesterday to clarify her knowledge (I asked her if she remembered what a period was and why) she knew what it was, when she could expect it, what to do etc but didn't know why women get it. I very briefly explained about been able to have babies in which she got excited about but until I meantioned babies she was covering her eyes and said she doesn't want to talk about it. I think she knows more then she lets on.
Reply With Quote
*
Bookmarks