Do you think this is over the top?

[Pretty Butterfly]

Along with tweens looking like overdone hookers, (most fake tans look crap, imagine it on a small body? and why on earth does a 12 yr old need fake nails!!??)) I would also worry about what was left for later???

For the yr 10/12 fromal? First date?

If you've done it all by 12, what do you get at 16 for yr 10, a brazillian? A hummer limo?? Lipo and a boob job?

There is nothing left to make the "grown up" nights special.. and thats sad....
I would rather my DD acted 12 at 12, and was able to be 16 at 16, if she's acting 16 at 12, I'd dread to see what she'd expect to be allowed to do later on.... ....scary!!!!

[Ahurani]

That's ridiculous!!

We wore our school uniform lol but in WA we graduate primary in year 7

[Frantelle]

I would not do it to my daughter but I also believe each to their own. How would you like it if someone told you how to dress/parent your child because they did not agree with the way you did things

[Floweryfields]

Definetly over the top - gosh I was only just allowed to start shaving my legs in grade 6! We didn't have a graduation for year 7 (in Qld) as we stayed at the same school. I was allowed to have my hair done for my year 10 one though (first time ever), but Mum made my dress and I did my own makeup. I didn't even get nails or makeup for year 12.

[Floweryfields]

Fake nails and tans I am not so keep on, because it is not something I do myself. But if these girls are just trying to recreate the look their mum has then I think it's fair enough. kids love to imitate their parents and feel grown up, I don't see the harm.

I believe the harm to be the message that I feel this kind of thing at such a young age sends - the idea that the way you look, the colour of skin you have, etc isn't good enough, that to be accepted in society, or at least liked by everyone, you have to fake it up.
We all know that pressure comes on us all later in life, so why the need for it earlier.

[Phteven]

I've got no issues with a leg wax. If they're old enough to want the hair removed and they want to wax then that's their choice.

Fake nails..... well looking at my mangled nails I think that maybe my mother would have been doing me a favour if she had placed more importance on my manicure.

[Doing my best]

I think it is over the top, and I hope that I can keep my daughter innocent and young looking at that age..

[Pretty Butterfly]

ausgirl, completly agree, great post.

Imagine having to "doll up" to be pretty or accepted, at 12!!! sad really.....

Frantelle, noone is saying anything to the parents, this is just our opinion. And I stand by mine. Its what i believe.

Onyx....

I worry that you cant stop making your kids "older" once you start.. if your treating a 12 like 16, how do you then slow it down?
Do you one day say, "Now we have to stop, go back to acting your age for a few years, then we'll get back on track"..?? You cant ask them to act much older, then expect them to stop going at that rate.. I've seen disasterous results...

I'm tying to slow mine down, not speed them up!!!

[Frantelle]

Pretty Buterfly - Your opinion is yours and mine is mine and I do not think that I disrespected you or your opinion but I am noticing a lot of hostility in your response.

I am reading a lot of tut tutting on this site recently. I think that a lot of these opinions are said in a holier than thou attitude. Just posted to see/confirm that their opinion is validated by others.

[Livinthedream]

Frantelle, TBH, I see no hostility in PB's post. I dont know where that comes from...
"Do you think this is over the top?" is the title of the thread, nowhere do I see "All who agree with me post here"
I think you are being a little oversensitive.

[Taurean]

I would not do it to my daughter but I also believe each to their own. How would you like it if someone told you how to dress/parent your child because they did not agree with the way you did things

I think you need to remember that no one has 'told' the mother how to dress or parent her child. The OP has simply questioned if us here on BB think it's a little over the top. Some agree, some don't - no one was posting to argue

[Early Kids]

Yep agreed, OTT.

I'm 24 and NEVER had a leg wax At 12 I was no where near shaving/waxing etc. For memory I was about 13 when I first shaved and only because all the other girls were, wish I had of waited LOL!

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I would rather any daughter I had went for waxing over shaving - even at 12. It lasts more than 8 hours that way. And I would have had things a lot worse at school had I not started shaving at 11. Removal of hair isn't growing up too fast!

Having said that - graduating grade 6? To me, that's not graduating. Graduating is when you leave school for good, not when you go to another school.

[Pretty Butterfly]

Pretty Buterfly - Your opinion is yours and mine is mine and I do not think that I disrespected you or your opinion but I am noticing a lot of hostility in your response.

I am reading a lot of tut tutting on this site recently. I think that a lot of these opinions are said in a holier than thou attitude. Just posted to see/confirm that their opinion is validated by others.

I dont think your actually reading my posts then.
I have repeatedly said how sad it is, I dont understand at all where think I was hostile!!???
And I never said you disrespected me??
I dont understand your post at all to be honest....

[Tinks]

Actually I posted this thread FOR opinions. The question was 'do you think this is over the top?' and I stated my own opinion in my thread. I expected people to reply with their opinions, I did not want them to validate my own opinion. I understand that everyone thinks differently on every topic, that doesn't phase me, I actually like hearing differing points of view. For example it didn't occur to me that the girl getting the leg wax may be having issues with her leg hair, once someone pointed it out I understood how it may be necessary for some girls of that age to wax.

While I do value opinions, it does annoy me when people go out of their way to cause an argument, calling others hostile and disrespectful when they themselves are being just that.

[Traveller]

I believe the harm to be the message that I feel this kind of thing at such a young age sends - the idea that the way you look, the colour of skin you have, etc isn't good enough, that to be accepted in society, or at least liked by everyone, you have to fake it up.
We all know that pressure comes on us all later in life, so why the need for it earlier.

Whilst I get where you are coming from I must respectfully disagree. Children are inundated with messages that how they look, what they have, what they wear isn't good enough from the time we first let them watch TV. By grade 6 some girls will still be quite immature and will not care, but some will have reached puberty and will be very aware of themselves in context of the big wide world. Teaching a young girl that, if she wants a tan, it comes from a bottle and not from hours spent on the beach, is a healthy message. Helping them feel confident about their options with regards to beauty products is far from the worst thing a parent could do IMHO. I only wish my mother had done this for me.

[Pretty Butterfly]

Whilst I get where you are coming from I must respectfully disagree. Children are inundated with messages that how they look, what they have, what they wear isn't good enough from the time we first let them watch TV. By grade 6 some girls will still be quite immature and will not care, but some will have reached puberty and will be very aware of themselves in context of the big wide world. Teaching a young girl that, if she wants a tan, it comes from a bottle and not from hours spent on the beach, is a healthy message. Helping them feel confident about their options with regards to beauty products is far from the worst thing a parent could do IMHO. I only wish my mother had done this for me.

And I think differently again....
I dont think my DD needs theses products at all..... yet.
My DD has just reached puberty, but I dont see that as a reason to make her up, get a tan and get fake nails. I want her to think shes just fine how she is, and she doesnt need to be all fake to be pretty/popular etc...

I do agree, its not high up on the "worst thing a parent can do".. but there are also a lot of bad points to doing up a 12 yr like a little adult and sending them off in to the world like that....unfortuantly it can end up quite dangerous, esp if the girl "feels" like she is older, and acts accordingly... it maybe cause DD has a friend like this (I have posted about her before) that I feel this way??? I really does scare me....

eta.. Tinks, I too love hearing others points of view, I dont have to agree, and neither do they, but I love all the different opinions!! I have learnt a lot, and changed my parenting, over these exact topics!! LOL

[Beatrix]

ahh Im all for it.. because to me it would be like my girls just wanting to be like their mum.

I use daily taning lotion (the moistuirser kind) I have my nails done and I often go to the hair dresser and get my hair done.. all of what they are doing isnt permanment minus the waxing but I wish i waxed instead of shaved so def think thats a plus if its needed, even then waxed hair grows back.

Its ONE night that they want to look all grown up and pretty, and well sorry to say unfort now days well my 12 yr old cousin is more developed then me LOL

my girls now 6,4 and 2 love to have their hair done all pretty and some polish on their nails..