DSD Potentially Moving Out To Friend's And Friend's Parents House - Could This Work?

[fionas]

Yep, I can see how it could appear that way Jennifer and I probably should have phrased it a little differently (DP also picked me up on this at the time) but hey, I'm not perfect and compared to how I've been feeling about her and some of the things that she's done, that was actually very mild.

[Jennifer13]

Yep, I can see how it could appear that way Jennifer and I probably should have phrased it a little differently (DP also picked me up on this at the time) but hey, I'm not perfect and compared to how I've been feeling about her and some of the things that she's done, that was actually very mild.

Oh hun, I have no doubt. Plus, it is your feeling about her and you owned it. Let's hope she does turn things around.

[fionas]

I guess Jennifer, my view is that there's nothing to be gained by holding back or not being completely honest. Yes, we should try to do it in a non-confrontational way and yes, some phraseology is better than others but when we're talking about feelings we can't always get the phrasing 100% right because we're human beings. For example, she described me last night as being a negligent mother to DD1. That's also probably not the best phrasing either but I didn't take her to task about how hurtful blah blah blah that sounded because I'm a big girl and if someone wants to say something about me, they're welcome to, happy to cop it and talk about it.

So I calmly explained that although when she was living with us and I was having the pregnancy from hell (housebound because I couldn't walk far, diabetes, buying and selling a house as well as DSD's dramas) I wouldn't have nominated myself for Mother of the Year, I thought I did a pretty good job under the circumstances.

[Lulu]

I had to say the same thing to DD1. She wasn't a very nice person at the time and she was treating people who loved her terribly. It didn't feel awesome, but it was the truth and I was more worried about her continuing that sort of behaviour. Dunno if it worked or not though *insert smiley wink here cos the other one sucks...

[~*familyof3*~]

WOW!!! I just read this whole thread and WOW

I have no idea how you have got through this.I agree with pretty much all of what LuLu has said. I had probs as a teen but the diff is my mum just plain didnt want me she didnt NOT make the effort you have to make sure i was ok ect so i now cant stand her.
At least at the end of all this you can say you honestly did try.

Now i dont have a teen but i can sure as hell tell you i know how it feels to be completly lost in what to do,my son tries me so much its not funny. I have even felt i needed to send him away for the sake and safety of the rest of the family,i havent but ive felt it. And for you to have to feel that and do that i know that in its self is a huge thing the stress the guilt the pure sadness attached to that is amazing and you did what you had to in the hopes it would work.It cant have been easy at all.

I do hope she can find her way soon. hugs to you hun