I used to say I don't speak whinge and I can't understand you when talk like that.
I also found questions back helped. Losing my cool seemed to feed it. So often I would grit my teeth lol.
I think asking questions helps them to formulate their own thought processes when they aren't happy about something.
Ask them why they think they can do if xyz is annoying them. Go through the tools they would have learnt at kinder ie how to deal with conflict. Ask them what they think you would do. And if they are still losing the plot ask them if they need some quiet time to calm down so they can think about it more clearly. Express understanding towards whatever emotions they are feeling. This is a well known negotiator skill even with over emotional adults. and if its something like having friends over talk about when a good time is to organise that. Sit down and work out when they can have a friend over etc. think about it from their perspective, if you wanted to do something and realised you couldn't you would have your own inner dialogue about how and when that could happen or what you should do. This is something learned by life experiences and doesn't come to them naturally. So that's the tools they haven't learnt and that you can teach them
Oh my lord she's getting worse not better. She is pushing me to my limits.
I have started saying a little gratitude prayer at night, just something for them to say what they appreciate in their lives, like friends, family, the food we have ect... she is doing that ok. But she is just whinging at every other thing! She yells at her brothers to get out, go away or leave her alone all the time. I don't mind giving her a little space, but she needs to learn to be with her family too. She needs to be patient with her littlest brother and to learn about speaking respectfully and just being nice to people who love you. I am talking to her at times other than when she is being a brat about how lucky we are, she is. About what we have and she gets lots of stuff as treats and that we do things for her that are special. We talk about how we live in a wonderful country, town, home.....
I am trying my hardest to keep my cool, but have to admit, I am failing at it, probably half the time. I just feel like such a failure. She's telling me no one listens and that I don't love her. WE tell her that we love her very much, but don't like her behaviours and that is frustrating me/us.
So over this horrid entitled/I want/gimme gimme behaviour. I'm ready to sell her on ebay!
and if its something like having friends over talk about when a good time is to organise that. Sit down and work out when they can have a friend over etc. think about it from their perspective, if you wanted to do something and realised you couldn't you would have your own inner dialogue about how and when that could happen or what you should do. This is something learned by life experiences and doesn't come to them naturally. So that's the tools they haven't learnt and that you can teach them
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