To play devil's advocate here, if he needed a rest why did you let him go next door? Especially if you had read his emails and knew he was going to betray your trust. Did he know the reasons why you didn't want him to go to the girls house? And does he agree that at almost 13 he is still to young to go out after dark because for many kids they would find that unfair. It sounds a little like you were trapping him into disobeying you and TBH there is a betrayal of trust on both sides here. Was he aware you were reading his messages or did he think they were private? I totally agree that he needs to understand he has broken his trust but equally if you are not trusting him with age appropriate play (such as walking out after dark) and reading his private messages then it's not that far flung a concept to me that he will start betraying your trust back.
He knows I have access to his messages. He does not know however that I read his messages to discover this particular issue. and yes I could have said straight up no you aren't going out because I know what you are planning but decided at the time to allow him to go and see what he would actually do..
and as for a rest what I meant by that was no running around the neighbours yard ect.. watching a movie is resting and doing it next door is the same as here but here they need to be quiet due to the younger kids where as next door its only one child of 12..
I do understand what you are saying though and yes he understands why I have issues with this girl.. When I have time I will fill you in. In my opinion it is a serious issue which thankfully didn't go any further then it did (not sex related)
Just to reiterate in case I came across as harsh, I absolutely agree he should not have gone when you said no, and I agree you need to get him to earn back your trust first and foremost. I hope you work something out xx
We still like our 15 1/2 year old home before dark, so I would also have said no to walking even a few blocks in the dark. Going next door in the dark is a bit different though so I probably would have allowed that. If I was ok with him going to the girl's house (which it sounds like you weren't due to particular reasons) I would drive him rather than let him walk in the dark. Up until recently we had Interguard on his computer which monitored his internet activity including messages and he was aware of it.
The joys of teenagers , you've been given some great advice, I really think you need to give your DS a reason as to why you don't want him going to this girls house, may help him understand a little better. Wishing you all the best .
DS knows why I don't want him hanging around this girl
Second last week of school she was bashed walking home by some other students. For some unknown reason she told her friends my DS did this. Long story short. 10:30 that night I rechecked his messages and she had replied with Oh I don't know who did it but you weren't there for me.
I screen capped the whole convo and ones where her friends were messaging him asking him why he would hurt her. Of course I asked Ds if he did this but the time frame was all wrong anyways. and he didn't do it
I (on advice from someone) stayed quiet for the following day to see how things went but thankfully nothing came of it. I still have the convo saved at photo's so can use it if need be,
(so yeh thats why I don't want him hanging out with this girl. If she can accuse him of this at 12 what could she accuse him of as she gets older)
I have changed his password today as he kept sneaking onto the computer or ipad when we weren't looking and I wasn't about to carry them everywhere I went..
You say that your DS knows why you don't want him seeing this girl, but I am wondering if he really does, or whether what you told him went in one ear and out the other. It seems that no matter what she did to him, he has somehow forgiven her and let it go. Have you talked to him about this? i.e. not why you don't want him seeing her but getting him to explain to you why he does want to see her? It seems that until he understands himself why he shouldn't see her, he will just continue to sneak around.
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, you've been given some great advice, I really think you need to give your DS a reason as to why you don't want him going to this girls house, may help him understand a little better. Wishing you all the best 
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