Overweight 12 year old

[joey123]

Just wanted to say Joey good on you for doing something though and being concerned. I think my parents pushed the "we love you no matter what shape you are" a bit too much and not enough of the "we love you so we want you to be healthy". So it's great to be doing something and I think about making it about a healthy lifestyle (and not neccessarily results) is a great approach. But you do need to talk to her Dad. You can make a healthy environment at your place, but that needs to be mirrored at her Dad's too.

Thank you also very much for your reply. I think that she doesn't really get noticed too much as over weight or teased (thank goodness) because there are so many children that are overweight, she kind of just fits in. Which is good for her socially. I just really struggle because I am and have always been very sporty and also very conscious of my weight.

[joey123]

Is there anything else that can cause you to put on weight other than eating too much or eating the wrong foods? Like any .... not diseases .... I can't think of the word.

The reason I ask, my daughter goes to her dad's 6 days a month. The days that she is home with me she exercises a minimum of 30 mins a day and eats 2 wheet bix for breakfast, tuna or multigran sandwich and fruit for meals and snacks during the day and meat and veg for dinner (not large sizes) and she is still putting on 200-300grams per week. She says that she is trying to do the right thing at her dad's and I am trying not to grill her too much, so I don't know exactly what she is eating, but she is losing weight during the week when she is home and then putting it back on, plus more, each weekend. I really don't think, unless she sat in one spot and ate cake all weekend, that this is normal. Perhaps she has something wrong???

I am considering going to my GP, but wanted to get some advice first to see if anyone has had any experience or heard of this before.

Thanks!!

[Rivlas]

Do you have a Wii? If you do get the sports cd and start playing yourself so she sees how much fun it is playing tennis, bowls etc. Then one day when she is watching either ask if she wants a go or challenge her to play against you.

It is a hard age when the body starts changing and the mood swings start.

[joey123]

Do you have a Wii? If you do get the sports cd and start playing yourself so she sees how much fun it is playing tennis, bowls etc. Then one day when she is watching either ask if she wants a go or challenge her to play against you.

It is a hard age when the body starts changing and the mood swings start.

We don't, but it's her birthday next month. I have already bought her present, but perhaps all the relatives can chip in and we can buy her one. What a great idea. Thanks!

[joey123]

Does she care that she's overweight? I know when I started getting a bit chubby and my nan started pointing it out to me and trying to get me dieting, I just ate more and more junk to spite her. Her harping on about it ruined what might have been a good relationship, and made me hate seeing her. Technically I'm obese now (I'm short and carry weight around my hips, I actually just look a bit heavyset) and while I know it's mostly my fault, some fault has to lay with the person who cared more about what I looked like than how happy I was.


Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks

Yes, she does care that she is overweight. She wants to be thin, but doesn't want to do what she has to (eat right & exercise) to get there.

Thanks for the comment about your Nan. I am trying to push that I don't care if she's overweight, but her Pa has diabetes and being overweight will make her even more susceptible to that and other health issues. I am trying to make it about health - but perhaps I do need to lay off a bit, once I talk to her Dad and see that he is going to try and increase her exercise and limit the amount of junk food in the house over there.

She did tell me yesterday that he was trying to lose weight too, so maybe this is good timing??

[Pandora]

Or the dancing ones for wii.
I didn't believe it until I wore my heart rate monitor while playing at my cousins place. Last night I burned 625 calories playing wii just dance!

[helle]

Or the dancing ones for wii.
I didn't believe it until I wore my heart rate monitor while playing at my cousins place. Last night I burned 625 calories playing wii just dance!

That sounds pretty awesome. Infact I wanna get a Wii just for that now ><;; Exercise at the age needs to be fun, i think. And attention needs to be drawn to the "funness" of it and not the weightloss side of things. If my mum said to me at 12 to go for a jog around the block I woulda told her to jam it. How long does she stay with her dad for? If it's a weekend I doubt that a couple of days of bludging a week is going to undo the healthy side of things.

I was around the same weight range as your DD at that age as well... and when I started highschool my weight stayed the same as I grew taller. At my year 11 ball I was 165cm tall and weighed 58kgs which isn't overweight at all (mind you I still thought I was fat, i kick myself now.) alot has to be said for growth spurts. My brother is also the same... while he was growing he'd pack on the kg's and then grow tall and it would all grow up with him.
Do you think your DD has the same trend?

[joey123]

I was around the same weight range as your DD at that age as well... and when I started highschool my weight stayed the same as I grew taller. At my year 11 ball I was 165cm tall and weighed 58kgs which isn't overweight at all (mind you I still thought I was fat, i kick myself now.) alot has to be said for growth spurts. My brother is also the same... while he was growing he'd pack on the kg's and then grow tall and it would all grow up with him.
Do you think your DD has the same trend?

Let's hope so, but due to the weight issues on her Dad's side - I don't think so

[black_rose]

If she wants to get into chearleading next year encourage her to get fit so she has the energy for those routines. The wii could be great to get her moving she will hopefully have fun at the same time. Focus on that rather than her weight, hopefully you can get her dad on board too.

[joey123]

If she wants to get into chearleading next year encourage her to get fit so she has the energy for those routines.

That's a good idea!

[Catastrophic]

and to help with answering multiple quotes - see next to the 'reply with quote' there is a quote picture and a + sign. click on that for every post you want to reply to and on the last one press "reply with quote" then you will be able to reply to them all in one message instead of multiple If you like!

[joey123]

YAY!! Thanks so much!

[MissM]

Just wanted to wish you good luck

I hope you and your daughter and your DD's father can work together for your DD's sake!

[~Ash~]

This really reminds me of my brother - he was really self conscious of his weight (and my dad didn't help that fact) until he was 15. He shot up within a year and has almost looked too skinny ever since.

He was a chubby kid his whole life - he did footy and basketball - ate as well as he could - but he would never really lose the weight like he wanted to.

He has never put weight on again since he grew tall but I think that had a lot to do with how hard he tried to lose it for years when he was young - he is very into fitness now.

I agree with the food diary thing - either let her do it so she doesn't have to tell you or do it together. If she is eating right with only a few days exception it might be a hormonal thing in the end.

Good luck!


**Sent from my phone using Tapatalk.

[Phteven]

My gym lets teenage girls come to the dance classes (zumba and sh'bam) if they have parental permission. Maybe you could try going dancing together.
There is a lot of hidden sugar in foods that people consider healthy - juices, yogurts, museli bars. It might be worth your while to teach her how to read nutritional panels.

Really if she is eating well, exercising at least 30 minutes most days and looks healthy then I wouldn't be too concerned about the scales.

[SunnyRain]

You sound like a really caring mum. I just want to start with that and add that what I'm about to say is not an accusation. Things are what they are, not always in our control.

A young girl who loves her mum and dad, and spends time with them both, must be suffering some emotional anguish that your relationship with her father is not a happy one. This must be having an impact on the way she perceives herself in the world and could very likely be causing her to create an unhealthy relationship with food.

I would recommend taking your daughter to your gp and discussing the 'mental health care plan' which gives you, her or both, 12 bulk-billed sessions with a psychologist.

It would be very worthwhile.

Good luck.

--'--,--'--<@
Jude 07/10/08 | Lilac 16/06/11

[MissM]

I agree with kuraiza and n2l. I'm also a bit worried about the long term effects all this focus on her weight will have on her.

Puberty is a CRUEL CRUEL thing. Perhaps you could see your GP by yourself and express your concerns. Is she having regular periods yet if at all? Could this be a contributing factor? I gain around 2kg when my period is due. Which is very annoying, but hey it's part of being a woman.

I would be stressing the importance of healthy eating and being active (which you are) rather than noting she's gaining 200-300g a week, I'm sure you are doing everything in your capable hands to keep her healthy. She will probably put weight on through puberty like most of us do.

Hope my post isn't too mean as I sincerely don't intend it to come across that way.

Eta: onyx is on the mark too!

[nickle730]

Has your DD started menstruating yet? You may find that once she has a regular cycle her weight also settles.