Teen Drama Queen - Is It Because She Thinks She's Boring?

[misty]

I wasn't a drama queen as a teenager, because I was (and am) a very private person. But I do remember (especially when I read back through my diary) how dramatic and OTT everything felt. Even little things which were really nothing seemed like such an emotional rollercoaster. I believe (in hindsight) I also had depression as a teenager, which no doubt made everything even more dramatic and OTT. It literally felt like the simplest thing was the end of the world.

Depression amongst teenagers is extremely common, and often displays itself in a completely different manner to how it might in an adult. Being a dramaqueen may be a symptom of this. I wish someone had of been able to tell me what was wrong with me as a teenager, because I had no idea, and struggled with many things that everyone else seemed to think shouldn't have even mattered at all.

Just a thought that maybe something similar is going on with this girl??

[AnyDream]

I think she should confront this girl and tell her that she has had enough of her behaviour and her lying.

I don't think the girl in question is actually lying. She's just perceiving/processing what's happened through a clouded inner filter. She needs help - to clean that filter up so that it's useful to her - not condemnation.

[Rivlas]

Sorry, I might have said it the wrong way.
I meant to say she needs to know that her behaviour is wrong but in a nice way.
I know school is finished for the year so not much can be done now but maybe at the start of next school year, if she is still like this, she could talk to the school councillor or someone like that.

[AnyDream]

It's definitely a learning process, isn't it Rivlas. I agree someone in her life needs to help her learn how to curtail this behaviour. She needs to understand this before she hits adulthood, or life is gonna get a lot harder.

[Lulu]

Peers can be pretty good for this, might be a steep learning curve though. Hopefully she will grow out of it.

[Curly]

It's attention seeking. She is desperately seeking reassurance that people care about her. Boring she may or may not be...I'd say she doesn't know who she is yet and doesn't have a strong sense of her own identity as a person or much in the way of a sense of self-worth.

It is emotional neediness that is causing this behaviour. Same with your daughter's friend, Lulu. She is frightened nobody likes her and that she doesn't have any true friends.

[Lulu]

Distinct possibility Curly - however it gets hard on those around them.

My DD's friend seemed to get more and more possessive no matter how much reassurance she received. The big fuss at DD's party for example was that she carried on like a pork chop (in the middle of everyone having a ball) because she thought she wasn't invited to stay overnight (only 2 girls were allowed to stay over after the party) and she was.
One of the reasons she did get the invite to stay was because she seemed rather sensitive and I pushed for DD to invite her...for this reason.
They had quite a big group of friends at the time, and the behaviour was escalating. Even after all the fuss was resolved she kept stepping it up. DD was getting tired of it, everyone else was tired of it because as much as people made an effort for her not to feel left out it was never enough.

I felt for this girl (being a teen is hard) and I could see the effort my DD made for her, and also how it was being thrown back in her face when she got nastier and nastier.

DD left that school shortly after (not because of this) to go to another one and was quite relieved to leave it all behind.