Grrr! Argh! *Stress! Vent!* I can so relate.

My DD1 shrugs her shoulders and makes some weird oh well sound when ever she does something that ends up causing damage.
I have confiscated her laptop on several occassions - the response I get is "I don't care"..... Oh trust me, honey, you will!

And she does. She expects everything and gives nothing at all in return! She wants a new laptop - I want her to do the damn dishes at least once! It is infuriating to the nth degree and I too am at my wits end on how to get her to just understand! We wont even go into how she treats DD2. Suffice it to say the other day I said to her "How would you feel if you had an older sibling constantly speaking to you the way you do DD2?" to which she replied "I would have killed myself by now"... -- I flew off the handle obviously because whether she was purposely trying to destroy her sister and force her into suicide, or she just doesnt make the correlation - its bad and she needed to be pulled up there and then!

Sadly I don't have any answers, but I suggest you try checking youtube for "Whatever! The Science of Teens" as it explains a lot. There is no easy answers in it but it does help you reconcile things in your own head and you might be able to develop some strategies to cope.