Teenager - Would You Leave For A Weekend?

[Nai]

I would do #3 or 4 - either she stays with a friend that you know & trust and she knows you have spoken to the parents or she comes with you and brings a friend. If you force her to go alone she could make the weekend miserable for you by sulking the whole time but if she has a friend they are likely to just do their own thing and let you enjoy yourself.

My parents left me for the weekend when I was 16 and I had a big party and nearly trashed the house

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

My parents left me in charge of my younger sisters when I was 17 and all we did was paint the living room for Mum!

You said that you have no trust issues with her - perhaps you could view this as a test of her independance, KWIM?

[[M]umma[M]ia]

Option 3 is the best idea. Dont force her to go.. she will put a downer on the whole holiday. Dont leave her at home, its too dangerous. Dont let her stop u from going.

[AwesomeFoursome]

I would do #3.

[Janie]

I too would go with option 3. Although, given that you've had no trust issues with her, I would be very reluctant to take her key away. As long as you've spoken to (and trust) the parents of the girl she's staying with, and spoken to your DSD about what's expected of her, things should be fine. I think that taking her key away, when's she's given you no reason to do so, would be really unproductive, trust-wise. BUT, you know her best, ultimately you guys will know what the right thing is.

I understand her not wanting to go, but I definitely do not think you should stay home because of that. No way. I hope you guys can work it out, and have a great weekend

[fionas]

Thanks guys - always good to have other opinions. I must say, my first instinct was not to go but I think as I said in my OP that will just mean that we feel DSD gets the final say in where our holidays are and we're at her mercy.

So I think we'll go #3.

While I think it's pretty unlikely that she would have a party and trash the house, I guess the possibility is always there and I think for peace of mind we should take her key off her. Like I said, she's given us no reason for us not to trust her since she's been living with us (for seven months now) but before she came here she had been experimenting with booze, drugs etc. so I'd rather not put temptation in her way. I think we'll just explain to her that even allowing her to stay behind on her own is putting a lot of trust in her already. She won't be happy not to have her key but hey, at the end of the day she's only 16 and she can't call all the shots, right?

Besides, if she has the key, that leaves open the possibility that she'll tell the parent whose house she's meant to be sleeping in that she's changed her mind and she's going to sleep at another friend's house, leaving that parent to have to contact us and basically keep an eye on the situation. I think that puts too much onus on the other parent. Easier if we just take the key off her.

Of course, that situation's not foolproof, she could go out and get another key cut in the meantime but at least we would have done everything possible to keep her safe.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Me at home age 16: couple of friends over, few drinks, couple of movies. Lie-in the next morning. Lived in about 3 rooms of the house so I didn't have to tidy the whole house before Mum and Dad came home. (Amusing as I currently live in a 5-room house, including the hall!)

Sis at home age 16: Spent 3 days cleaning after a party held at the weekend.

I keep thinking about Sis' wild parties when she was home alone as a teenager. I'd be getting DSD to stay with a friend too!