Is there some sort of personality clash with your DD and her teacher? Your daughter says she doesn't like the teacher and the teacher had nothing nice to say about her. I don't know why they didn't tell you if your daughter was getting in trouble but I have had similar when my boy was punched in the guts so hard he was winded and they didn't send home a note or say anything to me - if DS hadn't said I would be none the wiser.

As to the criticism of you not seeing the teacher until now, I don't really understand why people think there is something wrong? The older daughter is the point of contact and the teacher could have mentioned it to her any time or said that she wanted to speak to a parent. My DS started a new school this term and DH has not met the teachers and doesn't even really know where the school is. That does not mean he is not interested in DS's education, just that he works and I am the nominated point of contact for educational things in our family.