I'm going to ring the school I'm just not sure if I should speak to the Yr8 Co-ordinator or the Principal. Was also thinking of ringing the Department of Education as I'm not confident the school will do much. DS13 said he wanted to go and talk to the principal himself so I told him if he feels comfortable in doing that then he should.
I think it's a bad analogy in poor taste but I don't think it's particularly threatening. By that I mean I don't think you have anything to worry about the teacher being physically violent against your son.
I think the teacher was probably trying to get a point across but spoke before they thought.
Sounds like there is more to the story. When I was in high school yes teachers spoke like that, but not all the time and only when either they or their position was threatened. And it meant very little anyway. I would be more concerned that perhaps this wasn't an isolated incident (ie. they had done it before) or that perhaps the person he was with is a known trouble maker.
It sounded quite threatening to me and quite honestly, if it's enough to upset your DS and yourself then definitely speak to someone about it, whether it be the coordinator, the Principal or the Dep. Ed or all 3. Teachers shouldn't speak to students like that ever.
I mostly agree with you LMS, I see valid points from both sides. Sure it could have been a one off, maybe the teacher was particularly stressed that day, but that doesn't make it "ok" to speak to a student like that. It is drilled into students that the school yard should be a safe place for everyone (or at least it was drilled into us). If it was another student who said it, there would have been repercussions. The same should go for the teachers.
The other thing to consider is maybe it's not a once off? It may have been the first time Dianne's son was exposed to it, but who knows what he's said to other students before. If no one does anything about it then he will continue to get away with it.
I wouldn't suggest that Dianne's son speak directly to the teacher, but I think some kind of communication needs to happen, maybe a meeting between the principle, the teacher, Dianne and her son? That way there is someone present from both sides and everyone can (hopefully) get a full picture of what happened and find an appropriate way to deal with it.
If you want to follow it up I think it is better to approach the teacher first. There are two sides to every story and I doubt that a teacher whose MO is threatening students without good reason would last very long in the profession. TBH parents who undermine teachers by rushing off to the Principal every time their children come home and complain make it very difficult for teachers to do their jobs especially in schools that already have discipline issues.
Had some time to think about this and reading all the responses, I agree with Onyx - approach the teacher first. I'd be going in saying something like "I understand there was an incident with DS and friend being somewhere they were not supposed to be, can you please explain to me what happened?"
Try and ascertain whether this was the first time or if it is a repeated thing... get some more background.
I have to say I agree with N2L, Rouge and Onyx. If you are concerned, then I think definitely speak to the teacher first to clarify, and if you still aren't happy, speak to the principal.
but...
To be honest, if that had happened to me at that age my parents probably would have said "well, best you don't go in there again". And my parents were supportive, vigilant people so it wouldn't have been a case of not being concerned about my welfare. Kids have to learn that there will be people in their lives who are intimidating, rude etc and as long as the teacher hasn't hurt him physically, belittled or bullied him, or broken the law in some way I'd be inclined to let your son deal with it his own way.
Having said that, my DSs are still young'uns so who knows how protective I will be when they are at school. In the same situation I could be out for blood...
I was going to pretty much say what onyx said. I would first go to speak to the teacher and find out for myself their version of the story. I think theres 3 sides to every story eg...your son's side...the teachers side......and the truth is normaly inbetween each of those. There may be a lil more to the story....but then there may not. So i would think it best to go to the teacher in question first.
Yes I think the comment is inappropriate and yes I would mention something. Infact I would speak directly to the teacher to find out in what context it was said and flag to him that perhaps it wasn't the best comment for him to make.
If I am seen as "that person" ...pfft...I am a mum and I will protect my children so I really don't care and as for teachers being people too- yes they are, but like all professionals there is a code of conduct to adhere to and I don't think this kind of comment meets this expectation. Teachers are role models and indirectly show our children how to manage situations and how to cope etc....something this teacher has done badly.
I'm going to go against the grain here, and say no, its not intimidating. It sounds from the OP that the teacher used an example from life that the boys would listen to and remember, I don't think he was saying 'im going to bite your neck' as such.
I like N2L's post, she pretty much typed it WAYYY better than me!! And I also wouldn't make a complaint against this teacher, but would honestly like to hear what they're opinion and take on this situation was. Teacher first-then Principal-if it were me
Last edited by Sunny Love; February 9th, 2012 at 02:19 PM.
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