It is hard with the play dates - everyone is in their cars at picked up (althought i have walked a few times this week) so you dont get the sitting the yard waiting for the kids chat.
She wont ask the kids their names so i cant ask her about 'specific' kids.
I have been saying, i need you to ask your friends their names so i know who to write on the party invites for your birthday (which is in 6 weeks). and she says just invite everyone!
Rouge
Gosh how i wish i would socialise with other mums - apart from what i just wrote, i have gone to a few mothers groups and i am greatly an outsider. I live in a very ethnic suburb, and when i make effort to say hi, i get a smile then every mums so far has turned and talked amongst themselves in their language.
walking to school this arvo i smiled at 4 mums i passed ready to say hi , not one lifted their head to make eye contact.
i just dont want her to feel the way i am in this new town - she has noticed she looks different to everyone else and gets upset she cant speak other language most days.
although this arvo she asked why she cant go to after school care - go figure! its just the mornings that are hard
Can you read a book to the kids some mornings before the bell? Not sure if that's allowed but don't schools encourage parents to participate where possible? Good luck it must be heartbreaking
And keep talking about exciting things you can do with hereafter school....like the park some days or making cupcakes or having a babycino together.
BellyBelly Life Member - Love all your MCN friends
Jun 2004
The Festival State
3,008
we're having "isthoos" mainly the other end of the day - bilby doesn't want to leave school - and it's usually ME who feels like crying (worn out from the cajoling, the begging, the encouraging, the reminding, the "ok, one last go on X" - i FINALLY get her out of the school yard (she's walking like a snail) and i get "Muuuuum, i need to go the toilet" - so BACK we go. By the time we get to the car, i am a wreck, just want to bawl. ME not her.
Sounds like your DD has only been at this new school a few weeks, it does take time to "find your place", especially when the other kids have already had a whole term, to get to know each other, form cliques etc.
i sympathise with the "feeling on the outer" that you feel, i felt that in a different way, when we started this year, and i realised i was easily 15 years older than most of the parents - the age gap, and also the financial/where you live gap. The ice is slowing thawing, the longer we are there (into 2nd term now). At prep level, the parents are hanging around alot before and after school. i am guessing, as your child gets older/more independent, there is more "drop off kid, parent doesn't come into the school, except if they specifically need to speak to teacher etc) - so there would be less opportunities to engage with other parents.
A big group is hard to break into, my suggestion is to find smaller groups, or common interest groups at the school.
My child had half a term of inviting kids to play with her, and they would blank her, or refuse to play - it was heartbreaking. Took me ages to work out, she has quite good communication skills, and they were intimidated by that. She just assumed they didn't like her. Such a relief, that she has kids to play with now (many of them boys, who are not so cliquey to her).
It's so hard when you're in the thick of it PP, language CAN be quite a barrier, but there are many universals, everybody's child cries, when they fall off the jungle gym, no matter what your language is. Sometimes when there is a baby sibling, and everyone smiles at a cute bub, that is universal too, i think every mum is proud as punch, when people admire their bub. Searching for icebreakers - that's what i did. And i brought crafts with me, that worked as an icebreaker too.
We're also not doing much on the playdate front, as we live in a dodgy suburb far away from the school. The teacher suggested playdates as a way to make it better too.
things have improved.
we have moved dd's bedtime forward to 630 and it has made a huge difference! she wakes around 630 but t gives her time to wake up , watch a little tv, have breaky and dress without the stress of being late.
she has been making some little friends, a couple of boys adore her and she likes playing with them(which is a huge difference as the last school we left she cried if she had to be near a boy because of the bullying).
still not met any mums, but i am going to try help out at the mothers day mass/stall tomorrow (although i am sick as a dog right now) and socialise
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