Thank you so much for your replies ladies. I have been at a drs appointment but I am glad to get home and hear I am not overreacting. I was bullied too, and a lot of the time I heard that the problem is caused by my reacting to it. i did everything they said. I ignored it, I changed things about me to fit in better, I did it all. One night I was looking in the mirror brushing my hair and deciding how to wear it tomorrow and how tomorrow they might be nice to me, when it occurred to me that - no, they wont. Nothing I had done or could do is going to change who THEY are. I was told relentlessly that I have to change how I act, how I react, how I dress or how I talk. Not once was any of those children told to change. TO my mind today that just perpetuated the cycle by pushing the belief that bullying was acceptable - being different was not.

I swore black and blue that no one is every going to tell my children that the problem is them. That they have to change. She is quite lucky she said that to me, and not him - but I have an appointment at the school on thursday so now is the time to stand my ground on this one. They want me to get DS anger management and coping strategies, then I want to know full well that they are working with the other children so that my son NEVER has to use them.

DH is ready to pull them out and home school - and I am not prepared to use my kids emotional wellbeing to change the educational world - but I am not going down without a fight.