So, here's my dilemma.

My ex and I have 50/50 custody of our son, 2 weeks with me 2 weeks with my ex.. Now since DS is due to be able to go to kindy my ex and I have been arguing all this year over what's going to happen.. Originally he rang me and told me that he wanted to know what was going to happen with DS and kindy. I told him to let me have a think on it and I'd get back to him.. Few day's later I rang back and asked what he was wanting to do. He said he wished to continue 50/50, I asked if he meant whilst DS was in Kindy and he said yes. So, that's 2 weeks here, in kindy at the same school as DD and then 2 weeks with my ex at kindy. Flat out I said no. So of course this caused a massive argument and I straight out said that school and 50/50 is just too much for a child as he doesn't cope well with the change over as it is.. Anyhow, this got a bunch of choice swears from my ex and he hung up. Immediately I called to organize mediation. So we've had a few visits now and still can't agree on it.. He's arguing that DS will need BOTH of us in his life seen regularly and equally.. I'm not disregarding that, however I feel that a stable environment and not being transferred between two schools would be far more beneficial.

So of course we can't agree on 50/50 so we have one more mediation session before it will end up in court. Now we live 3 hours away from each other, it's a bit of a trek just for us to meet halfway, so I don't feel comfortable adding school into the mix. It also means that we can't pick one school and do 50/50 that way. DD stays with myself and DF (his choice, only wanted DS), DS has been to DD's school for playgroup and he's well loved by everyone there (joys of small country schools) so I don't feel good about separating the kids and only having access to him during school holidays, at the same time I hate being mad to feel like the bad person for suggesting that the kids stay together instead of my ex having DS more. I've offered every weekend, fornight weekend and school holidays if DS stays with us but he says he can't because it's costing too much for his family to drive him to and from (however where we meet as the halfway point there is a perfectly good train station, as well as at his end), so he states that he'd only get to see DS on school holidays. We're in a similar position of both DF and I work the occasional Saturdays and do shopping on the other and sunday is dedicated family time. Since we live out of town by the time DF finishes work all shops are shut and it takes him a further hour to get home, hence why shopping is restricted to Saturdays. This means if DS was to live with the ex we'd also be in a similar situation (for medical reasons I'm no longer allowed to drive, and there isn't a train station where we are and the nearest one IS the one that we meet at anyways), so we'd also be limited to School holidays, which I'd feel terrible for the kids as they miss each other a lot when DS is at EX's..

So what would you do in my position. I've already done heaps of research into split schooling and pointed this all out to EX but he's adamant on either 50/50 or he gets DS full time. Does anyone have any experience with situations like this? Teachers? Lawyers? Parent of 50/50 or split schooling?

Any help or opinions would be greatly appreciated.