Advice for friend - how do you cope?

[Inanna]

Aaaaah the only answer to this is detatchment.

It sucks. It riles you but you have to get to a point where it plays out in front of you & you don't try & make sense of it. Because it's not posible to make sense of it.

My ex does this type of thing ALL the time. He doesn't have them overnight any more (he's too busy with the step sons... course he is!) he only has them 4 hours a week... BUT it's enough to be a twat...

She just has to let go. It's wrong she is not in clean clothes - but trying to prove that is going to cause more pain and heartache for the child. I would say... let it go. Dress her, pack her clothes, talk about the fun she's going to have with Daddy & love her when she gets home. As long as she is SAFE. Physically & emotionally let go...

That is the hardest thing for a mum to do but it is the best thing for the Mum & the child... xxx

[Kazbah]

She gets the needing to let go, and picking up the pieces when DD gets back, it's more that ... how does she, herself, stay sane? She's been to 2 psychs - one saw her 3 times and said there was nothing to do for her depression, and the other one she's seen twice now just says she needs to do something with the ex.

How does she "let go" Inanna? Is there anything that works for you, anything I can pass on to her (other than joining BB) to help her attain the peace she needs?

[BlackCat]

She gets the needing to let go, and picking up the pieces when DD gets back, it's more that ... how does she, herself, stay sane? She's been to 2 psychs - one saw her 3 times and said there was nothing to do for her depression, and the other one she's seen twice now just says she needs to do something with the ex.

How does she "let go" Inanna? Is there anything that works for you, anything I can pass on to her (other than joining BB) to help her attain the peace she needs?

Just on this point, find another pych or counsellor! It is not about "doing something with the ex" its about learning to cope/deal with the ex. He will always be there and he will probably always be the way he is unless something dramatic changes, she needs to find someone (and they do exist) that recognises the difference between dealing with an ex and living with the fact that this is the way it is and helping her to live with that...

gosh does that make sense? I hope so.