Living in constant fear of an outbreak is a sign of domestic violence. It is time to leave! Gather some information, make a plan, and go. If you're in Australia, there should be a women's information line you can ring for information about support services for women in your situation. You can find it under "Women" in the government section of your white pages. They will take you very seriously when you describe your husband's abusive behaviour. There may be a social worker or a counsellor who you can talk through your feelings, to help you with making your decision. I know you're scared of making a change but it will be worth it - for you and for your kids. Good luck.