Another Single mum to be

[alleykat1985]

I've just found out that i'm 7 weeks pregnant and going to be doing the parenting thing alone - my now ex - who dumped me the day after i told him is hinting that he doesn't want any involvement. I've just been reading these posts in regards to the BC and i found it to be quite helpful. Thanx - it's a big comfort being able to read stuff and talk to other people in similar situations cause i'm sooo scared.

[~Aveta~]

i've been there myself, so if you want a non-judgemental pleace to rant - i'm here. check my profile to be sure..ok? i'm here.

[samm]

alleykat, trust me i know the feeling. At the moment i am going between feeling great i made my choice and being nice and relaxed to absolutely scared out of my wits about having a little bub to look after. For me it will be huge lifestyle change as i all i have been doing (well maybe not all )is studying and working. So now i'll have to give up my study for a year and go back to work after 3 months when this little treasure arrives. The i'm sure i'll be asking for advice to deal with the guilt of leaving bub to go back to work.. All in the future so i'm takng one step at a time. The advice and support here is lovely - here is can say i let go of the brave face and admit that i am terrified & excited. But let me say no-one tells you how sore your groin gets and how tired you get!!!

[~clover~]

Hey Samm, don't worry, stick around & you will know every ache & pain of pregnancy before you get to it!

[Rita68]

Hey there, I thought I might throw my two bobs in. I went on to this site when I first found out I was pregnant to a friend who lives overseas. I live in Australia and he lives in Europe. We have known each other for three years and have always stayed in contact. We had a fling three years ago and I spent a month with him over there after he was here. We kept in contact and he was here over the summer and we had another fling and I got pregnant. I'm 39 and it was very unexpected and a real shock to me.

I know what you are going through. He wanted me to have an abortion and he wasn't so calm about it. He told me it was going to ruin his life, he is an adventurer of sorts and never wanted kids. In the end he said he knew he had to respect my decision and hoped I would respect his thoughts on it but he was getting quite mad with me so I decided to not respond to his last email which was about four or five months ago and I haven't heard from him since. Like you I felt I just couldn't deal with the stress of dealing with him. He was making me quite upset.

So I'm at almost 30 weeks now and still have moments where I look down at my large belly and still can't believe there is a baby in there. I'm okay with doing this on my own for the most part. I found the first three months the hardest so far. The second trimester is most certainly the 'honeymoon' part and my emotions were very level during this stage. I am sad that there is no father to share in this amazing experience but I am also excited now about becoming a mother. I was/am an adventurer traveller type myself and didn't expect to be having children either but it is a gift.

I think you might be doing the right thing avoiding contact for a while cause the most important thing right now is to reduce your stress. If he is stressing you out then don't have contact with him for a while.

My approach is that I am doing this alone, he can contact me if he wants but I'm not going to try to contact him. I will never say anything bad about him to my son and when my son is old enough he can then perhaps be in contact with the dad and maybe they can have a relationship when he is older. But yes it is more challenging when dad lives on the other side of the world.

If you want to chat at all or be in contact with someone going through the same experience feel free to email me at mozza68@hotmail.com

You sound like you know what you need to do and you are going to be fine...more than fine. Congratulations!