Brand new single parent

**Neenee Jellybeanie** · February 3rd, 2008, 12:53 AM

As of an hour or two ago. Long story short, my ex (jesus christ, he's my ex now) punched me in the face leaving a bump the size of a golf ball. And it's MY fault, aparently. I can only take so much, y'know? So for once in my life, I'm using my better judgement and getting out of this. I don't want violence to be a part of my daughters life.

So yeah, Hello!

bubNo.2 · February 3rd, 2008, 02:40 AM

Hi there,

Good on you get out and more importantly you know you dont have to put up with crap!

Cheers Ainsley

**Je$$_84** · February 3rd, 2008, 06:09 AM

OMG!!! thats horrible you poor thing... My relationship isnt perfect but my DP would never hit me.... Thats one line i woule also draw.... Hope your ok, have you told the police or anything????

My step father was abusive to my DP and as a result of the voilence my poor DP ended up in hospital twice- (my DP didnt want to fight back as he was my dad) in the end we just packed up house, and moved away.... havent seen them for 16 months and our lives are so much better off... I didnt want our son or future children being brought up any where near that kind of voilence....

Hope things work out for you and glad your out of there and you and your precious bubs are safe...

Good luck

**Amity** · February 3rd, 2008, 06:17 AM

Well done on kicking out your violent XP. The first few days are the hardest. We're here if you need to vent or whatever.

Thinking of you.

**Spring Angel** · February 3rd, 2008, 06:25 AM

You have made the right decision for your safety and the safety of your baby. You should be so proud of yourself for having that courage. No one no matter who they are can treat you like that never ever, not even just once!!!!

Call the police if you feel up to it. Do you have somewhere safe to go with your DD?

You won't regret this decision, it will be the best decision of your life, trust me on that.

Lv Spring

**tiggerandpooh** · February 3rd, 2008, 06:36 AM

:hugs: Baby Socks.

Voilence is never ever ok - and you have done a good thing by saying NO and stopping the cycle before it can begin.

one day at a time ok...

**Willow** · February 3rd, 2008, 06:40 AM

Awww hun, you poor thing. I was reading a thread the other day about your EXDP. Sounds like you have really, really done the right thing for the your safety and the safety of your little baby. You both deserve so much better.

I hope you have somewhere safe to go. I'm sure he'll be full of apologies in the next few days but stick with your better judgment!

**~Kim~** · February 3rd, 2008, 06:43 AM

Oh God. Well done for making the hardest decision. You DO NOT need to tolerate crap like that. It is NEVER your fault. Be strong and hang in there for your gorgeous little girl.
What state are you in hun?

**~Raven~** · February 3rd, 2008, 06:52 AM

Hun!

What a frightening thing for you to go through! Wishing you and your beautiful DD all the best xox.

**tiggerandpooh** · February 3rd, 2008, 07:05 AM

Baby Socks - I just read your other thread hun. Please get some help hun... domestic violence has a way of permeating into your life. As others have said, take photos of the abuse, go to your doctor, so that it is documented, and if you feel strong enough go to the police. No one ever deserves to be on the end of someone's thump!! As hard as it may seem right now, taking action will show him that you mean business, that your not going to be treated like crap, and that you are worthwhile. Stay strong darlin, your little girl needs you.

**Heaven** · February 3rd, 2008, 07:08 AM

you have done the right thing, a hard but good decision. From your other post it seems like he wasn't being very good to you or your precious little DD. Good on you!

**Mum0809** · February 3rd, 2008, 10:03 AM

OMG!!! You have made the right decision for yourself and for your baby. :hugs: :hugs:

**Neenee Jellybeanie** · February 3rd, 2008, 11:34 PM

Thankyou all so much for your replies, I really appreciate it. To be honest, this isn't the first time he's hurt me. It started 6 months into our relationship (there was one incident in that year), but started full-tilt when I became pregnant. I also kissed someone else and confessed to him just before I became pregnant, so my guess is that it was the combination of both of these factors that created a context for the abuse - though my feeling is that it would've happened eventually anyway. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for letting him do this to me while I was pregnant and putting my daughter at risk, but it's in the past and I can't change it now.

Right now I live with my parents (And i'm planning to stay here since it's much easier in many ways than living alone), so I'm safer than I would be otherwise, though he knows what hours they work and i'm worried he'll hassle me. Luckily he doesn't really have his own transport and the only place he could stay (Aside from his undrivable car) is in the hills (I'm in West Aus), so chances are he won't be bothering me.

thanks again everyone *hugs*

smiles4u · February 3rd, 2008, 11:59 PM

Oh BABY SOCKS ... I feel so proud of you

I was in the same situation (minus child) when I was in my early 20's

Yep, my partner of the same age at the time punched me & one time even kicked me with his steel capped boots whilst I had just stepped wet out of the shower

... The bells rang for me then ... As my Mother said to me years before "NEVER EVER give a man a second chance when he has hit you once because chances are if it was that easy for him to do it once then he will do it again".

My Mother back then also said "So, get out & walk away if it were ever to happen that first time".

Well, silly me stayed with my partner for another 2yrs until he punched & kicked me again to the point that I now have a lifetime of permanent back pain

That was now nearly 20yrs ago and if I could have done it all over again - Well, I would have left ASAP after the very first violent episode (Just like you BABY SOCKS).

... You are so fortunate to have your parents support as sadly my own parents were not about to help me when it happened.

You have given you baby the GREATEST GIFT in not risking such an atmosphere for the BOTH of you to live in !!!

I know what I'm talking about as I myself grew up with a Father who was violent towards my Mother ... And it's a horrible life to live through as a child & as an adult you still carry those awelful memories where ever you go in life.

**** I wish you an amazing life ahead of you, stay strong & know you are a strong person for the massive decision you had to make on your own

**Neenee Jellybeanie** · February 4th, 2008, 12:32 AM

Thanks for that, smiles. He just came over (Strategically choosing to do it in the middle of the night, knowing i'd be awake and my parents wouldn't be), i woke up my folks and wouldn't deal with him. I'd be too tempted to get back with him, and he would try to convince me. I don't want that to happen. Especially since I overheard his conversation with my parents, he made it all MY fault. My stepdad gave him a good earful though

He's the product of a violent household himself (not that that's an excuse but it certainly doesn't help), and he hasn't just done this to me. He's pushed his mother around a few times that i've seen, and hurt his sister. I think that's just how he's wired and unless he decides to really get stuck into changing, it won't happen. Even if he did, I don't think I'd consider getting back with him. Even IF he somehow changed, I don't think I could forgive him. I don't love him anymore. I care about him, but I don't love him.

**LadyRaven** · February 4th, 2008, 05:29 AM

Good on you I'm so glad to hear you are in a safe place. Can't add much more than what everyone else has said but *big comfort hugs*

**maz** · February 4th, 2008, 05:39 AM

hOney
well done on standing up and getting out. alot of women dont do it until its to late (I was one of them a LONG time ago) You are one fantastic mother and women to be thinking so clear and straight after something like that. Take care of you and your darling...you guys come first.