Can he do this?

[Melby]

I have 2 girls - 3 and 5 - and currently they spend half the time with each of us (3 or 4 days at each house, depending on the week - although I am trying to get it changed to week-about).

XH and I have lived in the same area (Penrith) for almost 8 years, his family are mostly close by (parents, aunts etc who he is close to) and my family is almost non-existent. I am renting and managed to get a place within the school area for my older daughter's school, which is a great school and of course I have friends, the girls have friends, the younger one's daycare is great and they do dancing and netball as well as an endless stream of birthday parties, play dates etc.

DH has just moved 15 minutes away to his aunt's place til he decides what he wants to do, but he's still close enough to get to school, activities etc without too much hassle.

We both work full-time in Parramatta, but now his job is taking him more to our North Sydney office and he is looking to progress his career which could mean his job relocating permanently to North Sydney.

Now he is telling me he wants to move closer to work (at the moment he is only talking about the Parramatta area) and has now said that if I won't relocate myself (and of course the girls), that he will fight for full custody because he does not believe I can raise the girls on my own and he does not want custody to be 50/50 if we are living so far apart. I actually believe I can do it just fine.

I like where I am living, and I don't mind the commute to work (it's about an hour door to door for me cos I catch the train). I don't want to spend the next 15 years following him around wherever he goes, and I don't think he is really considering the impact of a relocation on the girls.

If he moves away for his work then tries to get full custody based on the idea that it is not practical to keep a 50/50 arrangement because of his move, would a magistrate take his side????????????????????

[BrightSparkles]

i'm no expert but unless a magistrate canfind any other reasons i can't see any reason why they would side with him.

you shouldn't have to chase him around the country because he wants to change where he is working.

hope it works out for you hun.

hugs
xx

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Doesn't work like that. In fact, custody is far more likely to go to the mother whatever, and a very ambitious man who is willing to put job over children's needs, such as a stable home and consistent schooling, is likely to be dismissed straight away.

He has to provide reasons you can't raise the girls on your own. For example, mental illness, instability, drugs, you have to physically and mentally be incapable for that claim to stand up in court.

Best of luck to you.

[Beatrix]

from my experience where a ex partner has relocated the orders have been that the relocating parent is to be more lienant as they have made the decision to move. IYKWIM

The judge will def take into account the childs routine, school/ care arrangements and do what is best for that.. often a relocation for a child is not in the best interest and he might find it may blow up in his face.
if he is so far away the school/care they are attending is not possible i can not personally (this is My opinion only) the judge removing the children to his full time care unless he can prove you are a unfit mother.

the only example i really now though is moving interstate, and the mother moved, she has to proved access for her son to visit his dad and pay for it on a regular basis. ie. flights all at her owns cost.

[Lulu]

He talks too much, and he talks crapola too.

[rhyb]

:yeahthat: My XP moved to Brisbane recently and I dont have to follow him to the other end of the state. They choose to move, they choose to be inconvieneced (sp?)

[Trac73]

Sounds like he is trying to BULLY you in the hope that you will just believe him. From personal experiences i believe that if he is moving to better his employment that is fine but if he cannot keep up with the current orders put in place they will re look at them and find what is best for the children. You will probably find that the courts will side with the mother as they do in most cases, and they will not change a routine that the children is currently in such as schooling, friends etc.
I have found the courts look down on fathers that apply for full custody, so to be honest let him do it but don't give into him and don't move and continue what you are currently doing with the children and if cannot cope with it the courts will reduce his time to one weekend a fortnight, half school holidays etc
As for not being able to rasie your girls without his help etc what a bunch of b@@@@@@t, you have been doing it to now haven't you. Plus when i was going through all this my XP tried to go down the unfit mother, bad mother and all that crap but he had trouble proving it (because it wasn't true) and to be honest my DH has gone down that street with his XP and she has had DoCs involved and still the child is in the mother's care.
Just try and be strong and don't let him bully you into anything.
GOODLUCK

[briggsy's girl]

custody doesn't go to one parent over the other based on anything more than the best interests of the child. i would be contacting the family relationships advice line NOW and trying to arrange mediation and getting something in writing as to your custodial arrangements BEFORE he moves. get it put in place that the girls are to continue at their current school if either of you move form the area etc

there is no leaning towards mum having custody anymore - it's what is in the best interest of the children so get it in writing NOW

[Marlene]

He talks too much, and he talks crapola too.

I agree with Lulu....he's talking shiat!! There is no way a judge would make you follow him just because he is thinking of his career instead of his children!

[Marlene]

Ok, have to add more after reading through all the posts properly....please, please, please keep a copy of ALL the textx and emails that he has sent you...I know others have already said this, but I can't stress how important this is!! And just as important...don't reply to his texts or emails anymore...and if you feel you have to be VERY careful how you word them!
Good luck with this hun, and I hope it all works out for you. When I read posts like yours I am soooo glad that my XH has nothing to do with my girls!

ETA: I would think that the courts would actually approve of the "notes" that your XH is holding for ransom. The notes show that you are working through your issues by writing them down and trying to relieve your stress in other ways...better to write down your thoughts than take it out on the kids....don't let him bully you with those notes....tell him to go ahead and show them to the court!! You need to show him that you are NOT scared of him.