i didn't realise it was this bad, when i signed the lease. i didn't know about the gangs, i had no idea the "customers" would be so obvious, so violent, so aggressive, on both sides of where we live (on a corner, our windows are just a few metres from the footpath) day and night
i felt like i had no choice, it was this place, or be on the waiting list indefinately.
and every time you move, you spend money moving, setting up and in this instance, paying money for security stuff as well (to have side and back gates made lockable, installing three security sensor lights wired in)
so the small nestegg i had, is very diminished, purely from this move - let alone moving AGAIN and setting up AGAIN.

i am scared i will end up, going back to X, purely to get bilby away from the risks associated with living here.

i was crazy to think i could make this work (leaving X). i will end up either losing bilby or losing my mind (living under same roof as X again).
Hun, you didn't know how bad it was so basically you were doing the right thing. You have also taken the time (and money) to make it as secure as you can. That alone in my eyes shows you are doing your best so don't be so hard on yourself! You'll find a way!