Im having trouble approaching the christmas situation regarding Xp..
ive been trying not to think about it TBH,
I have no idea what i should do in regards to including xp in xmas day etc .. my hearts telling me to go ahead and do our own thing maby have them come over/go over there(his and his families place) for an hour or two xmas day etc as we uually end up heading out to my aunty and uncles after doing the pressy thing anyway.
whats fair? in this situation where xp comes and goes when he see's fit with his visits going weeks sometimes without showing up or any contact ( If you know about my situation with xp when it comes to his inconsitency and his lack of responsibility/reliability the list coud go on but ill stop here)
What does everyone do in regards to this?
Whats everyone elses plan?
I just want to enjoy this special day dont want it to be a drama
i just want to make it a special 1st xmas for my beautiful DD
Last edited by Butterfly Child; October 5th, 2009 at 03:48 PM.
Have you spoken to XP regarding this? Whats his thoughts? Ive been keeping up a little with his lack of interest (so to speak) and i think make plans that suit you and DD and he can find a way to fit into YOUR schedule. I'd hate for you to go to all this trouble to include him then he decides he cant be bothered that day and it ruins your day!
Whats his mother like? If shes nice maybe plan to go there and he can meet you there?
for our xmas day I have the kids xmas eve and xmas day lunch and xdh takes them at 2:30pm til 3pm boxing day.
It works for us becuase my family does a huge traditonal xmas lunch where as his des nothing so i am not making my girls miss out to do nothing. and luckily our nmediator agreed.
I wouldnt be bending over backwards for him, ask him what his intentions are for xmas day and go from there... but dont compromise too much, its your day too
Ammaki- no i havent really talked to him about it his family n him came over today for the first time in while.. which was gd for grace, his mum asked what we were doing for xmas i just said me n my family were going to my auntys for xmas day but left it there as i didnt really no wat to say to be honest. kinda waited to see if anything more would be said but it wasnt. maby i should just wait and see if anything more is said ...i think actually last week his mum said they were having ftirnds coming up to stay with them, but nothing was mentioned about wat the g.o is ..
Beatrix- yeh were really big on xmas too very traditional aswell here too
Thx so much hun. Xp kinda doesnt really talk much about it or anything for that matter when it comes to important things anyway his mum kinda asks the questions and talks for him IYKWIM. im always the one having to make the effort its so frustrating!!
We used to alternate with our parents when we were little, each year we had x-mas lunch with say Dad's family and the next yr Mums but what they did was EVERY x-mas morning we ALL had breakfast together and then went our separate ways from there.
As your DD is a little younger maybe you could suggest a dinner on x-mas Eve as a regular thing for your XP's family?
If he doesn't seem at all interested then just plan your day and do whatever special things you want to do, i would suggest trying to organise it now though so your the bigger person and down the track he can't say you didn't try!
GL Hun i hope he takes the time to make an effort for your gorgeous girl, in the long run if he doesn't it's him missing out!
The christmas situation..?
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