Thank you all so much for the positive words of encouragement. It was not a messy break up, we had just lived in a loveless relationship for a long time, and in hindsight I was as happy for it to end as she was.

Things got a little bit messy when the ulterior motives of her moving out came to light, and to be honest theres a couple of weeks there I don't have much recollection of. He knew something was going on, luckily some very good friends stepped up to the plate and dropped everything to stay with us and make sure we were alright. As far as I'm aware all he knows about that period is that dad was sick.

We get along ok now, but I'll always have the memory of her almost sociopathic behaviour in my mind. She was adament she'd done nothing wrong and was telling me I was being ridiculous and needed to get over it, while I'm here saying 'Dude! we have lived together since we were 18, this relationship is all either of us have know our entire adult lives, does that mean nothing to you?' to which she'd reply 'No, I'm over it.' That sort of thing really didn't help my mental state at that point.

Anyway, sorry for the vent, back to the topic at hand.

The things you have all mentioned, consistency, reassurance etc. are all things that I'm very strict with, and I never, ever lie to him.

Abigail- Thank you for those book recommendations, I will be tracking them both down. Counselling for the both of us is something I've also been considering.

As I said, its not something I'm 'worried' about, but I think when you are dealing with your own emotional reactions to a breakup it's easy to forget that there's little people who also have feelings, and are probably very confused about them at that age.

thanks again!