I have been struggling finacially all year this year with high rent and high everything else on top of reduced income due to no maintenance (he lost his job apparently) and also I haven't been able to work due to my little girls repeated illness and repeated hospitalisation. I have also had a heap of car repairs lately. I had to give up today and called a local assistance centre for food vouchers because we cant get through till next week.
I feel like such a failure for not being able to provide for my little girl.
Oh hon you are not a failure. You are doing the absolute best you can for your family. Things are hard now but they will pick up. Those measures are in place to help people out when they need it so do not feel bad for getting outside help. If you can't work you can't work and I understand how frustrating it is when everything breaks down or goes wrong. Hon, this is a fantastic country where people can call out and ask for help so take advantage of it while you need it.
If there is anything I can do, please let me know...you are a great Mum and you are there for your little girl, that is the most important thing and that is all she needs
Oh dear, im so sorry to hear what you are going through. Have you contacted Family Assistance or even the Salvos to see if they can help at all? I know its probably not enough but may help a little.
You are not a failure at all. You are providing your little girl with all the love in the world. If anything you are helping her get through her day to day life.. you are being a wonderful mummy to her, she wouldnt be able to do it without you. Things will get better.. you just need to get over this little hurdle in your life and youll find the light at the end of the tunnel.
SJL - It must be so hard for you at the moment. I agree with what others have said - check out all of your options as you may be able to get some through centrelink. I am sure you already have but it might pay to check again. Do you have family that can help?
As for your parenting - you are just feeling down about it all but deep down I hope you know that you are being an awesome mum. You know what? She won't remember any of the things you are worrying about now. But she will remember the time you spent with her when she was sick and the fact that you are there for her when she needs. I am sorry that things are tough at the moment but they will get better. Big hugs.
Hun you ARE providing for her. When life was at it's hardest, so hard you felt maybe all you had left was your pride, you sacrificed even some of that to make sure there was food in your child's mouth. That's what being a mother is.
I'm in the UK, our system works differently, i get weekly food tokens for milk and fresh fruit and veg and though i'd rather be able to look after us myself, YOU BET i use them. My DD doesn't know or care where the banana in her cereal came from, or how there got to be another 6 apples in the fruit bowl. She only cares that they exist at all, that i am here, loving her, spending the time we have together doing fun things, just BEING THERE for her.
I've been on benefits in Scotland for just over 2 years, some of that time my XP couldn't pay maintenance either, and sometimes things get SO HARD. Sometimes i have to sit up very late just to do the washing because my electricity is cheaper after midnight. I'm moving house soon and i visited the new place last night and thought "they have their thermostat at 21C, that's INSANE!" because to me room temperature is 18C if DD's here, 17C if she's not. In fact i'm typing this in bed (DD's at her dad's and i've got a cold, so i'm having a rare lazy day) and i've got the heating on at 15C...
It can be so hard in this society to believe that money doesn't matter, because everwhere we look we are advertised at and all the papers and magazines and tv channels have aspirational lifestyle-adverts telling us to be successful or happy we must have this, buy that. It is hard ENOUGH getting by all that, without having to struggle to get even the most basic of necessities.
But i just want to tell you that you're NOT a failure. SIngle parents living in poverty have the hardest job, and instead of being admired or celebrated for coping, we're judged or derided and labelled as lazy, stupid, etc. When i go to the local big supermarket with my vouchers the check-out staff can be SOOOO snooty. They have to take the vouchers, which are worth 3GBP each, but they always count up every qualifying item so carefully to make sure i'm not "cheating" - i once had a voucher turned down because the fruit i bought, which would have been 3.89GBP was discounted at the till due to it being close to closing time and it going out of sell-by that day, so it ended up being 2.99GBP - for that one penny they refused my voucher. I am treated like scum, the inference being that because i'm on benefit i must drink and smoke and take drugs and that if i didn't do those things i could afford fruit for my child without vouchers. It is so hard hun, but hold your head up high. Bad times never last forever and while they ARE here, your daughter is very lucky to have a mummy who will lay everything she has, including even some of her pride, on the line to make sure she is loved and fed.
Feeling like a failure
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for you things will pick up soon.
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