I don't know any families personally where the Mama has left - but I do know plenty where the man has walked away with little or no contact.
I don't know how they do that - but I don't know that you need to spend time trying to understand this. It's not worth it my love.
It is also shocking to me how quickly men move on... Filling up a space with another woman as quickly as possible. That to me says there is a high degree of immaturity & an inability to be alone with oneself. Both dangerous when combined with a new relationship.
It's not ideal having a fractured family - but I think it might help to look at it like this... It's the way it is. Lamenting about what it "should" be like won't help. It is what it is... This is your story & it's your child's story. Just live in the moment. Enjoy the gorgeous times & grow as a person. That is the best thing for you and for your baby.
Merry Christmas my love - may the new year bring peace.
i know of a few people who it goes both ways (men leaving and women leaving) with DD1 myself and her "father" if you can call him that split up it was a week after her first birthday, 2 years later after a lot of arguements, solicitors etc he finally gave up and said in front of her "i have 2 other daughters now i dont need claire" and although it is best for her not to see him (long story but criminal, druggo, bickie gangs just not safe for her to be around him) it still hurt just the dont need her part shes not an object shes a human being
I know of both circumstances too... mother or father up and leaving and no contact
personally i dont know how they do it
my ex thought the grass was going to be greener on the other side of the fence and well I sit here and laugh at him because he is miserable and alone because he thought he would have no problems in the single world and women would flock to him (kid me not)
and as for me I am happier then i have been in a long time (nothing but the girls births has made me happier) I am in a wonderful relationship with the most gorgeous man..
and as for the contact.. sometimes i would have preferred he walked away and never looked back, because in my eyes it would be easier to deal with then his half arsed parenting which only happens because his family dictate to him that he needs to see the girls and they would be extremly disappointed if he stopped contact.. so really he only sees them because he thinks it the right thing not because he wants too. and well 90% of the time the girls would rather stay home with me.. which makes it sader.
DH left his Ex and two children. We continued contact and visits up until April 2008 - at which time things got nasty from the ex's end. Putting in malicious complaints about my (now) DH at work, almost ruining his career - in any event she has dented it slightly, but we should be able to jump that hurdle easy enough.
Once the ex got a b/f it all changed. She no longer 'needed' anything to do with my DH other than the CS $$$ - which of course she receives without needing any communication with him. There was no house she needed him to fix, or car - she had a new man to do that for her. She made every attempt at us seeing the kids incredibly difficult - and in the end said we couldn't see them at all. She has also stated that she will continue to put in malicous complaints about us at work so she gets her way.
We don't have the $$ to fight, and at this stage I just let DH know that at any time he wants to follow up contact with them I will support him 100%. Neither of us want the 'blackmail' of further complaints to do with our work - and due to our jobs they are all taken incredibly seriously. It was a tough 18mths from April 08 - fights, arguing, concerns over the house / kids upbringing she was exposing them too....
We've learnt thru a mutual friend who ran into DH's ex and kids that the eldest daughter said 'my daddy is dead'...the kid was 5 at the time . And she said that to the mutual friend, way to go with the parenting! Even if that wasn't rubbish put in her head by her mother, she made no attempt to correct the daughter, but she actually agreed with her and stated 'yes, daddy died'. .
Of course DH cares about how the kids are, it is still very upsetting for him. It's not like he has just turned a switch off and forgotten them, although it may appear that is the case for some guys - just not my DH. His mother still has contact with the girls - although she is in Melbourne, and contact varies on whether the ex answers the phone and how easy she wants to be to get along with. So we at least know they are alive.
I don't think people should stay together 'just for the kids' - while I feel attempting to recover the relationship is important, sometimes it just doesn't work out. I think a happy single parent is much more productive and positive than two arguing ones .
Cmama - I wouldn't like to call myself 'the first piece of ass' that came along - but rather the person that brightened my now DH's life up - we just clicked, and we are still clicking .
Have you thought about counselling to make yourself feel some closure about the relationship that has ended? It may help you move on with your life by recreating your enthusiasm and positivity for life.
My father was in my life up until i was about 4 years old, i have not seen or heard from him in 17 years. Some days i am thankful for it but other days i wonder if he misses me at all, does he think about me? has he got a new family, does he treat them better than he treated us??
My mum always made sure we were well looked after, although i did have a step dad for a number of years it didnt feel like i had a father as he wasnt that involved in our lives. I don't look at myself and think i am any different from other families, i have my sisters and my brother and i have a great mother.
I have to say that i dont think it would be easy for them, it may be something they live to regret for the rest of their lives just like those women who give their babies up for adoption i am sure that a number of them regret their decision every day of their lives but its something we will never know unless we are ever in that situation. but i can never see myself leaving my child.
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. And she said that to the mutual friend, way to go with the parenting! Even if that wasn't rubbish put in her head by her mother, she made no attempt to correct the daughter, but she actually agreed with her and stated 'yes, daddy died'. 
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