My rule of thumb is about progress. If there's some progress, no matter how slow then that is a sign of hope and motivation to keep trying. If there's no progress then really there's little cause for hope. I must say that the things he's asking you to do such as not going out and/or seeing friends seem very unreasonable on face value.
DP and I have issues too but we make progress, hence we're still together. Sometimes our problems seem insurmountable and sometimes one of us loses hope but luckily never at the same time.
It's really hard Starfish. I do think though that sometimes people have to confront the reality of losing what they have before they actually put the work in to the relationship. Maybe he needs that wake-up call.
Just want to send some hugs it is a hard situation, I know for my sister recently she has tried marriage counselling for years with her husband and there has not been change, she recently decided to seperate for a while, it is not easy for her as she loves him and they have three children together, I know she is having a tough time emotinally to but I think that she has realised that after trying almost everything this may be the only way he will see that change needs to happen on both parts not just one partner to blame and also maybe help him see he needs help with other issues that are affecting him personally but affect the way he acts towards her... Good luck and I hope that you can figure out what you feel you need to do soon... deciding is always the hardest part, but it does sound to me like you need to begin to think of yourself first and put yourself first for a while for yourself and your DD as staying with someone who isolates you from friends and puts you down is not going to be very good with for your own emotional well being. Take Care.
Thanks for your replies.
I have decided to take things one day at a time. It's really hard though, as DH knows exactly what to say to upset me and I am finding it really hard not to let it get to me, as he is being really emotionally cruel. His latest thing to say is that one day soon he is going to leave me, and DD and I will never see him again, and "you can tell her whatever you want, I don't care". He can say and do what he likes to me, but why punish a little girl for something that is not her fault and she has no control over?
Hi Starfish, I'm sorry you are going through this.
I am about to leave my partner of 13 years, next week in fact.
I can not live like this anymore.
I feel like I have woken up and the last thing I want to do is go back to sleep again, I am very good at pretending all is ok. It is not.
I have known deep down that "we" have been over for a long time. I have only just given myself permission to accept it.
I am sick of being so unhappy.
Good luck with your decision.
aww z - huni the stuff he is saying is to be honest emotional abuse. he is isolating you from people. i have no advice just a ear to listen either here or on fb.
danni and bec - huge hugs ladies...i can only offer love and support. we are all here for you all.
much love rach xxx
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