Hi Marydean

Apologies first off that this is not from a single parent's perspective - I'm not, but my DP is a shiftworker and I have often pondered how I will/would cope being a single parent for the one week out of two that he's on afternoon shift (meaning he's working from about 2pm - 11pm and working weekends more often than not). At the moment, with one DD that's not too much trouble but if I have another baby AND if my SD comes to live with us, that would be two under two and a 15-year-old.

If your DH is working overseas, I'm presuming that there's a financial incentive there so most of my suggestions are based on the assumption that you may have a little spare cash.

So this is what I would do. It's the evenings that are the most trying. Trying to cook dinner for yourself and for DD at the most grizzly part of the day. A good tip given to me by a woman who had two very young kids and who worked was to get a local teenager in for a couple of hours each evening to entertain baby/kids so you can concentrate on dinner. So not a babysitter as such - just an extra pair of hands.

You could also check out babysitting options during the day from qualified nannies - just so you can grab a few hours here and there. It might be better to have short bursts of breaks rather than have a whole day iykwim.

Otherwise, I'm not sure how you'd feel about working? Maybe you are already? I'm going back to work in July mainly to have a break from the routine. I think if I was faced each day with the same household chores and baby-caring tasks, I would find it very tough if I was having no other adult company. I know the busier I am, the more I get done and the household stuff gets done much more quickly if I see it as an incidental part of my day inbetween other things rather than being the major focus niggling away in my mind.

I know you said that you had fairweather friends and if you've already tested them out in terms of a support network and they've not been up to scratch, then probably best not to expect much from them in terms of babysitting etc. BUT would they still be good options for a catch-up for dinner, a movie etc.? That would help ease the loneliness. Otherwise, could you join a Book Club in your area ... or start one yourself?

I think it's really good that you're thinking about this already.