I need reasurance.. or advice

[Butterfly Child]

I wasnt quite sure where to post this.. Hope this is ok..

So i been talking to this guy online recently.. i met him playing scrabble on facebook and we started talking and then he added me on facebook the last few weeks we have been talking n getting to know each other theres an obvious connection definently.. but theres apart of me that feels stupid that i am 'online dating' , i wouldnt say it is full on serious, but i feel happy talking to him as we share so much in common its just crazy how much well our conversations flow n i look forward to talking to him every day, i suddenly feel myself again talking to him instead of just mother emma as much as i love being a mummy .

Why do i feel embarresed about this whole thing..i told my sister in a joking way about it like it totally was just for fun and she has scared me saying its unsafe etc and that he could be hacking into my computer etc.. whats the chance of tha thappening really i have antivirus and spyware protection not that i know much about it..

I guess what i want out of posting is some reasurance..hopefully that this is ok and to find out if anyone has had any success stories with online dating i didnt go out of my way to meet someone online i didnt even think i was ever going to date again after my past relationship but it has just happned and thrown me way out of my plans lol i mean i have a little bub but its nice to have someone to talk to..

[Butterfly Child]

no one..

[Shades]

My mum met her husband on the internet when they were in different countries... they corresponded for a while then he came over and visited and they got married - that lasted over 10 years... is falling apart a little now but I think 10 years is a good run
I've met a few partners over the net but my record is 8 months :P Which is comparable to relationships I've had that have started from real life so I guess it makes no difference really

[Arimeh]

I met both my ex husband and my current husband online.

I think its a good way to start a relationship as you often build it up from friendship first - its not all about lust or anything like that - which can happen if you meet say, in a pub or something (but that could have something to do with alcohol? )

[Fuzzywuzzy]

my best friend met her boyfriend online playing one of those shooting games where you have microphones and headphones and can talk to each other. She's not a mum but they've been together for almost a year now and he isn't a weirdo or freak. Just proves that you can meet some nice people online and develop real life relationships. Hope that gives you a bit of reassurance

[Footsteps]

i met my ex ste on a chat room....talked for 6 months online and by phone etc. i travelled to manchester and stayed for 3 months at his then we moved back home to liverpool...lasted a year until he started cheating with some girl he worked with....i met my dp on a blind date lol nearly 4 years later and we are still together...to me meeting in a chat room is the same as meeting out clubbing as its something i dont do lol. im babbling lol...good luck huni and hope it all works out well xoxox

[widdly]

I havent had any experience with online dating, but a close friend has, she actually got to the point where the guy paid her plane ticket to visit him in Perth, then, thank goodness, she was talking to him on the phone one day and he all of the suden went psycho at her. Thankfully she realised that this guy wasn't 'the one' and stopped all contact. She has also had a few other bad experiences. So I would say, be very careful, he could just be saying what you want to hear. I hope that he is genuine though and wish you happiness x

[Indadhanu]

I met Shel online in 2006 We met after talking online, it was a 'dating site' though, not FB or anything like that, we met after about two months, instant click, now we have Jazz

[willow5]

I personally haven't had experience with online meet or dating but one of my friends has. She met her husband online years back so it was really an unknown then as internet wasn't as big as it is now.

They're still very happily married, it wasn't online dating as such I think it was chatting through mutual friends on a website.
So it can work. My freinds did have mutual contacts though, I'd be very cautious of someone really random, but then again if you were to meet a complete stranger out at a pub or club or somewhere is there that much of a difference?

Then again one of my inlaws had a bad experience meeting someone online it was at bad joke that he wasn't aware of until he lost $$$ flying interstate to meet this person who never showed up!

There's good and bad online and off-line, I guess there's a more unlnown factor when it comes to online?

So maybe go slow enjoy the company via the computer but be careful, good luck

[Butterfly Child]

Thanks shades, wow thats amazing about ur mum and her husband sorry to hear its not going to wel now though. The guy i have been talking to is from another country too Very differnt lifestyle etc to mine but its intriguing and he talks about coming here, im not yet ready for that but im enjoying what we have at the moment.

Arimeh- Thanks arimeh thats so amazing id love to hear more about how u made it work and so on with ur husband dating online , I agree ive finally got that common ground with someone and it definently is based on a friendship which i think is so important, i hated the pub/club scene anyway you only ever meet someone who is after one thing anyway usually..def the alcohol lol

How long where u both dating online before you decided to meet?
how did you meet him online?
Thanks so much Arimeh

Willow- {I'd be very cautious of someone really random, but then again if you were to meet a complete stranger out at a pub or club or somewhere is there that much of a difference?}
Thats what im scared of but im luckily not thinking of meeting him as such at this pointi n time maby later on down the treck if it works out


funkeeefrog- Thanks how long where ur friend and her boyfriend 'online dating ' before they met

[Fuzzywuzzy]

I think it was somewhere between 1-2 months. They met up for a casual drink so that it would be an easy escape but it turned into dinner and a movie and a nine hour long first date!

I suppose that if you do eventually decide to meet up there's alot more pressure when you live so far apart and you have to invest a lot of time/money to get there in the first place

[~breeze~]

I haven't done the online dating BUT I used to play on a game website which had the game on the right of the screen & chat on the left & I'd go to the same "game room" every time so I got to know the regulars. My XH used to go in aswell & we made some good online friends.

We ended up going to Perth in early 2004 to surprise one of them for his 40th birthday (with help from his wife organising it) there were a few of us from the "room" turn up (they came from Melbourne, us from Sydney) & it was great, we even went over to Rottnest Island for a few days. It was such a success that a couple of months later we went to the other couples house in Melbourne, then a year later we all met back in Perth again (we even had some extra online friends come from Wales!)
We met back in 2003 online & I still keep in contact with a few of them & I'm best friends with one of them. Too bad we would never work as a "couple" cause he's great (not married btw LOL) & we've often had people say they're surprised we're not together... I just wouldn't want to risk our friendship!

So I KNOW you can meet "normal" guys online but I agree you should be careful (as with meeting any new guy whether it be online or IRL)

Enjoy the adult company....

[Arimeh]

Arimeh

How long where u both dating online before you decided to meet?
how did you meet him online?
Thanks so much Arimeh

Which one - the exhusband or the current one.. lol

With the exhusband we were sorta officially dating for about a month and then he flew up from Melbourne to actually meet me, stayed a week, we got unofficially engaged (no ring) then a few months later he flew up again, proposed with a ring, and then he stayed up here. I met him on yahoo chat site - just in one of the Australian rooms I think from memory (hey, it was back in 99!)

With the current husband, we were chatting on ICQ chat - I just did a random search for guys on the sunshine coast cos I was bored one rainy saturday afternoon, and his details came up, and we got chatting (he still has a copy of our convos on his computer.. awww) and then a week later I invited him over for pizza, beer and some movies and stuff, we still got along really well (although I was a bit hesitant to hug someone so much taller than me - my head was a tad lower on his body than I felt comfortable with.. haha) and then 3 days later he asked me to go.. "steady".. hehe

A month later he moved in with me, 6 months later we both moved to Airlie, and 10 months after that we were married. That was October 2005 - and we're still truckin' along!

[Melly01]

Well, I have someone coming from England on tuesday to meet me haha. So we'll see how that goes! I certainly wasn't expecting to get along with him as well as I have so far. We talk over webcam, through msn, send emails while he's at work, talk on the phone.. just can't seem to stop contacting each other

We met because my sister had met him while she was staying in England last year. She thought we would get on well, but wasn't expecting this. He added me on facebook and there was an instant connection after we started chatting. No talk of us "dating" although we have hinted about how much we like each other. But at one time I had a bf and another time he had a gf so it was built on friendship.

I also met a guy from Berri online when I was 15, he moved up to live with me and my family when I was 16, and we lasted about a year and a half before he cheated on me with someone we were both working with. But it took him a long time to move out of the house and I was obsessed with hoping he would get back with me for a while.. Not the proudest years of my life hah