I'm fuming. Is this right?

[kirsty_lee]

These types of posts make me sooo angry for you women! SERIOUSLY wtf is 34 bucks a month going to do, seriously? Oh no 34 bucks out of 100 freakin thousand dollars!!! WTF i know that if (touch wood) anything ever happend to me and him and we didn't want to be together anymore he would give me the shirt off his back if it was in his daughters best interest. I do NOT understand why these men get soooooooo petty and horrible. your raising his child!!! I am just astounded, seriously. 34 bucks a month is pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. And 100K a year? sh** I wouldn't be sad on that wage! most families make it on 30 k and under im pretty sure on 100k he can afford a bit more than 34 bucks a month! ARGH sorry for ranting, it's just one of these things i will never understand, it's crap and i take my hat off to ALL you single parents out there, you are all truly amazing. I hope this gets better for you babe, cause right now it sounds like total BS

[Melly01]

It is just so frustrating that DS has to wait until when XP decides to put in his tax return to get a decent amount of money. I usually have $40 a fortnight taken out of my account and put into DS' so that I have money to use incase he needs more than I have budgeted for. My BF is living in the UK and trying to save money to visit us again, and he is offering to buy DS clothes and send us money because he knows how bad it can get, even with living at home, I still need to help out with bills, as well as pay my own and keep DS in clothes that fit.
My Mum used to say that the amount XP pays in CS doesn't even pay for the amount of milk DS drinks each week!

Thank you all.
I am trying to calm down, apparently he still wanted to talk to me after he'd talked to DS, but DS hung up after their couple of minutes of talking, so he left a message saying he will call back later.
I may tell him that I will contact him after I have talked to CS tomorrow. It looks like unless we both do an agreement through lawyers or something that he will have to pay equal to the estimated amount. Which is fine with me, and if I were him, I'd be happy with about $7000 a month, and knowing I was a decent human being because I am finally paying the correct amount of CS.

It's times like this I wish I could just say "How about we cancel the CS and you don't see DS."
I know DS has a right to know his father, but I'd rather be poor and happy than have a little bit more money and having him being silly all the time.
Sorry, that's probably a horrible thing to say

[Lulu]

Tell him to p!ss off. Leave it to the CSA to sort it out, don't give this another thought.

For a start he isn't going to start formal custody arrangements because he has already established he can't be arsed seeing your son - and if he does, well the little fella benefits from seeing his dad on a 'formal' basis.

FFS! You are forgetting your penis-attached-to-head visualisations aren't you?

And WOO HOO!! for more child support - you both deserve it.xoxoxo

[Amaunet]

Tell him to p!ss off. Leave it to the CSA to sort it out, don't give this another thought.

:yeahthat:

[Melly01]

Thank you.
Sorry Lulu, I was so gobsmacked by what he was saying, I forgot about the visualisations. I was visualising other things which I probably should not repeat!
I really need to make that "visualisation" as the caller photo on my mobile, since that's the only phone he will call. Then I can't forgot what he truely is before I answer the phone!

[~clover~]

He has to legally have his tax in by the 1st of November (I think). So it won't be too much longer. You can also tell CSA you want an adjustment done. That he's told you he's earning more than he told them. But I'm pretty sure he has to sign something saying he agrees.

[Madham]

This also happen to me when dd was young and i never thought twice, i took and still do every cent i can from the b@stard. At one stage i was getting $17 a month, just ridiculous. Take it hun you deserve it and so does your son, make a better life for you both and dont give it a second thought.

[maz]

time to use your head hon.

Hang the ***** by the ball's.......if he's going to try and play you turn the coin over hon...you have the upper hand. You didnt make Logan all by yourself now did you.

Friggen gotta love ball-less men who think they can manipulate woman even after they are seperated!!!!
Hit him were it hurts hon....your son will thank you for it

[Kitt3n]

Tell him to p!ss off. Leave it to the CSA to sort it out, don't give this another thought.

For a start he isn't going to start formal custody arrangements because he has already established he can't be arsed seeing your son - and if he does, well the little fella benefits from seeing his dad on a 'formal' basis.

FFS! You are forgetting your penis-attached-to-head visualisations aren't you?

And WOO HOO!! for more child support - you both deserve it.xoxoxo

yeah that!!

babe i was in the same boat - am still but now i do have an amazing man.

x doesnt see dd - he didnt even vall her for her bday.

take the money. and if you feel guilty / bad / whatever.... - put 50% away in an account for ds for when he turns 21!

[Marlene]

Tell him to p!ss off. Leave it to the CSA to sort it out, don't give this another thought.

For a start he isn't going to start formal custody arrangements because he has already established he can't be arsed seeing your son - and if he does, well the little fella benefits from seeing his dad on a 'formal' basis.

And WOO HOO!! for more child support - you both deserve it.xoxoxo

Lulu said EXACTLY what I wanted to say, so I won't bother typing it all out, LOL

[tiggerandpooh]

lulu said what I wanted to say too!

my ex was being such a jerk about paying CS - to the point that he told DD that I use the money on myself and would be using it on the baby when it arrived! - that I handed it all over to the CSA. His wages are garnished, they determined the amount he has to pay, and I have nothing to do with it. Its the LAW. I dont make it up. just like I didnt make the two children that he decided to have nothing to do with by myself! Don't let him manipulate you, intimidate you, bully you. He has a legal obligation to provide for his son, regardless of whether he sees him or not. The relationship he chooses to have with Logan is up to him. The financial obiligation is the LAW. hand it over to the CSA, and let them sort it out hun. And keep on visualising what a d!ckhead he is!!!

[Amity]

Mel, as you probably know, I work in this area a lot.

My advice - leave it in the hands of the CSA. Let them sort it out.

His income = his problem.

[Pandora]

I thought if an accountant did your tax you have until the end of March the following year to get it done? Is this not the case?
I would contact CSA first thing tomorrow.

[Nelle]

Wishing you strength and conviction.

As the others have said, you as carer of your son are completely legally entitled to money to care for your son - and as Kitt3n said, if you start off feeling a bit unsure or guilty, put a percentage away for your son for when he gets older, or for a holiday!

[Butterfly Child]

Awww hunny im soo angry reading this your EX is such a ******* cant believe his doing this too you! i would be seeking advise from cs and legail aid and seeing how you should go about it.
your such a strong person and your ex will soon get wat he deserves babe dont you worry!!
Hope your allright hun thinking of you xx