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Thread: I'm going to be a single mum....

  1. #1

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    Default I'm going to be a single mum....

    As of midnight last night i am officially single and 2 days overdue with my now ex's baby... I cant stop crying and getting all emotional, i have no where else to go so i have to stay here with him. He says he's been living a lie for the last 10months or so and only stayed with me for Lyla... I'm just so hurt and i cant handle being around him and not being able to have him if that makes sense... I still love him soooooo much.



    I'm terrified of being a single mum i just dont know what to do.......

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
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    Aw hugs Jess, that is such crappy timing. Is it possible that he is feeling this way because he is scared? Is there any chance that after the Lyla has arrived & you guys a re settled that you may be able to sek some counselling & patch things up?
    Can he move out? You shouldn't have to be the one that has to leave given your current state. Also with a new baby what does he want you to do? Thats a bit rough.
    maybe contact your hospital & ask to speak with the social worker there. They should be able help & support you.

  3. #3

    Join Date
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    Oh sweetie i'm so sorry.
    Is there no family or friends you can stay with until your on your feet?

    Huge to you hun

  4. #4

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    Jessey, I'm so sorry that you're going through this now, when it should be such a happy and exciting time.

    My only advice, difficult as it sounds, is to focus all of your love and attention on your precious baby. Regardless of where your r'ship is and what's happening, your baby will arrive soon. Any other details can be sorted out later.

    Obviously you're hurting right now and that's totally ok and understandable. I'm sure your heart and mind are racing, and you're frantically trying to understand what has happened and maybe why your partner has acted this way. But your love and energy are better spent on your baby right now.

    Do you have any friends or family anywhere nearby? Someone to call?

    xo

  5. #5

    Default

    Oh sweety what an awful time for this to happen. Sounds like he is scared too but that is no excuse. Find people around you that can support you hun, particularly over the next few weeks once Lyla arrives. Do you have family or friends you can stay with? You will also find heaps of support on here from all the gorgeous girls who are single or not. Good luck with it all.

  6. #6

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    He is an A HOLE, tell him to move out.

    I'm so sorry this has happend to you hun.
    Last edited by Lulu; May 3rd, 2008 at 02:38 PM.

  7. #7

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    I am sure its just fear. Its a very stressful time for both of you & he obvioulsy has doubts about become a father so lets blame not being in love. Hasn't been in love for the past 10 months. So 9 months ago when you fell pregnant, what was that? just a bit of fun to him? Na, I think he is just scared & reacting badily.

  8. #8

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    I just wanted to wish you luck over the coming months. I hope he snaps out of it & realises he's just scared.
    If it turns out he really doesn't want to be with you then it's best not to try to force the relationship to survive.
    Please contact some relatives or good friends who can be there for you over the coming days/weeks etc as you will really need the support if you don't have it from your ex.
    If you need to be a single Mum I'm sure you will do a wonderful job. Try not to stress too much (impossible I know!) & think about your beautiful baby who will be in your arms any day now, she will need you more than you've ever been needed in your life.
    I believe once you look into her eyes you will know everything will be ok.
    Sending a big hug & I hope things start to look up for you soon. The timing just couldn't be worse!

  9. #9

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    Hi Jessey,

    How are things now? Maybe you have had the baby? I know you might be feeling very lonely and scared. There is support out there if you need it, you just need to ask. I am also in my third trimester and my partner and I have had the talk that we are not in love and are only together for the baby. We live together and I also feel as though I have nowhere else to go. I know, it can be really hard. You want him there but you don't. See how you feel once bub is here. The dynamics of a relationship can change dramatically when a bub enters. Or so I have read. Good luck! Thinking of yoU!

  10. #10

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    Having a baby is a scarey time for us mums let alone dads to.

    I hope that for your and Layla's sake that you have managed to come to some firm ground for yourselves.

    No matter what happens, and how difficult it feels at the time, things do get better hon.

    I hope our posts have found you with some peace and that you can see a clear path to take in your near future.

    All the best

  11. #11

    Join Date
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    Well, after a 17hour labor Lyla Grace is here she was born on the 10th of May at 11.57am weighing 4kg (8lbs 13) and 53cm and i love her more than life itself

    Her dad was there for the whole labor but we aren't together and we never will be again
    i am still living with him simply because i have nowhere else to go and it hurts so much to have him so close and not be mine. But its like he just flipped a switch and he's gone from loving me to just a friend, as if we were never anything more...
    I'm trying to stay happy for our gorgeous baby but its so hard. I dont have a home, i have somewhere to live but its not my home anymore, i feel like i dont belong anywhere...

    Thank you for all your supporting posts, better go the booby gremlin's awake

  12. #12

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    congrats on the birth of ur beautiful daughter...dont stress about ur ex, hes not worth it. U can do this on ur own if u need to and just remember its his loss not urs. I hope that u find somewhere to live soon..!! take care hunni xoxo

  13. #13

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    If you have no family that can help, I would recommend you contact a charity such as Salvation Army or St Vincent de Paul...they can help you find accomodation etc. Good luck. Congrats on baby Lyla.

  14. #14

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    Congratulations on the birth of your daughter, i was wondering about you this week! Im sure lots of other ladies were too! You can do this by yourself if thats the way things are. The most important thing is you and your little girl. Things will all be ok! Big hugs to you XX

  15. #15

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    Oh Congrats!!! Did you post a Birth Announcement???


    WEll done mummy dear - you can always kick your ex in the knackers and call it hormones...

  16. #16

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    Hey Jessey congrats on the birth of your beautiful girl.

    If you ever need support or a room until you get on your feet, my door is always open. I'm on the Sunshine Coast too.

  17. #17
    smiles4u Guest

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    CONGRATULATIONS ON THE BIRTH OF YOUR PRECIOUS DAUGHTER

    I LOVE HER NAME " LYLA " ... SO BEAUTIFUL & WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MUMMY SHE HAS

    I have a little story for you Jesse, ... I hope it helps you at least a little about your situation

    I too know a little girl named LYLA she is from my previous Mother's group, she is a May baby too. She turns " 2 " later this Month. Sadly her Daddy (who was only 25) passed away last November from an 8mth battle with cancer And also sadly she will never know her Daddy as she is too young to remember him

    ... I guess what I'm trying to say is that your little LYLA is so lucky that her Daddy is on this planet & hopefully he will be part of " her " life in someway as she so deserves that right

    HE is so not worthy of you, & like some other members have mentioned - maybe you could get some HELP from the SALVOS, etc inregards to accomodation & some sort of support. You should NOT have to feel ' trapped ' living with him, even it's for a short time.

    We are all HERE to help you with any advice & support that we can

    ... ENJOY YOUR GORGEOUS BABY GIRL !!!!!!!

  18. #18

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    once again thank you all for your supportive posts.

    smiles4u - cancer is a horrible horrible disease especially at such a young age, poor little girl not being able to know her daddy

    Gudism - your a very kind person

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