My husband is leaving me for another woman. (LONG)

[goddessofdawn]

Thanks ladies. Yes, a very helpful Centrelink IT guy just upgraded my access to Level 3 so I can apply online.

Calluna - I see you are a single mum too? Would you know when Centrelink makes you start working 15 hours a week in order to keep getting Parenting Payment?

[Calluna]

Its something to do with the youngest being of school age but Im not sure exactly when. Clover is probably better to answer that than me, her children are older I think.

[Chocaholic]

The youngest needs to be 7. At least that is what it was for my sister.

[~clover~]

As a single mother, you will be put on newstart when your youngest turns 8. You can receive parenting payment single until then.

For partnered payment, it is when your youngest turns 6.

You will need to work or study for a minimum 15 hours (week or fn, not sure). There is no option to keep parenting payment after these ages unfortunately.

[Calluna]

Hi hon, just wondering how you are doing?

[goddessofdawn]

Wow, so much has changed in just over 3 weeks!

Things got a lot worse before they got better. Right now I feel pretty awesome.
I got my first parenting payment on Friday.
Am in the process of splitting bank accounts etc - should be finished by mid-January.
I'm seeing a Legal Aid lawyer on Tuesday. Hoping to get Consent Orders put through next year. I may have a little party once the house is transferred to me.
I just want that security for my daughter, you know? Not the constant fear of him possibly pulling the rug out from under me.

I'm really enjoying him not being here anymore. ��
Daughter is thriving - I guess she senses that although things are different, I am genuinely happy, and we are closer than ever.

I know there will still be good days and bad days, but the difference is, that doesn't scare me anymore. I can handle it all by myself.

Calluna, Thank you for asking. ��

[Calluna]

You sound like you are in a really good place. That's fantastic. I hope it lasts and the ups are more frequent than the downs.
If you ever need to talk, even just scream at something or pour everything out on a page - please know that I'm here. I have been there and I will not judge you.

You are absolutely right, you CAN handle this by yourself. (Although just because you can doesn't mean you have to. )
xxx

[goddessofdawn]

If you ever need to talk, even just scream at something or pour everything out on a page - please know that I'm here. I have been there and I will not judge you.
xxx

That's so lovely of you! Thank you! I will if I ever need to!
Everyone here has been so supportive and I really appreciate that, more than you could ever know.

I think the key to my "success" was changing my mindset.
I was making myself really unhappy by thinking about him and the woman, what they were doing, imagining scenarios... that kind of thing. You can imagine how that made me feel!
I couldn't keep functioning that way.

Then someone said to me - focus your thoughts and energy on those who deserve it, i.e. your daughtr and yourself. And it was as simple as that - not easy, but simple.
Dale Carnegie was right - it isn't what happens to you that makes you unhappy, it's what you think about!

So whenever I start getting stuck in old thought habits, i just re-focus. e.g. This weekend he & the woman have gone away together on holiday, and I haven't given it a second thought. Have just kept busy with DD and am doing things that make us happy! normally I would have been a mess.

I just think of the future, and how DD will one day ask me the truth (when she is much older and when it's appropriate to tell her the whole story) and I want her to be proud of me. That I didn't fall apart, I survived and more than that, that I made sure she and I were both happy.

Thank you for checking in on me. xxxx

[CoNNiE_Melb]

Good on you!! You're inspiring and setting a wonderful example for your DD!