missy swannie. what a horrible situation to be in. I feel for you. It sounds to me like there isn't a great deal to be salvaged out of this relationship. Here we have a man who isn't working or paying bills, he is not helping with the children, you can't trust him to look after them, he's verbally abusive to you, and refuses to look after himself to the point that you have to otherwise he might die. I understand what you mean about abandoning a lost puppy, but try to understand that some people use their weakness and sickness to manipulate others. It's actually very effective especially with people who are quite strong and used to taking responsibility. Without even saying it, he has made you feel that you are responsible for his existence and welfare. But you're not. He's an adult, he is capable of looking after himself. It's not your problem if he refuses to do so. You are responsible for the existence and welfare of your children, and it sounds like he is just getting in the way of you providing for them. At this point I would be looking at the logistics of getting out of this relationship. If you want to stay in the house but he won't leave, get some advice about whether you can have him removed. If he is abusive and threatening you may be able to get an AVO, remove him from the house and change the locks. Alternatively start looking for somewhere to live with your kids. You are already supporting the whole household, all it means is you will have one less person depending on you. Don't feel guilty for this. You need to look after you and your children. Its not your responsibility to look after an adult who refuses to look after himself. For now don't worry about leaving the children with him for visits or any of that. Just look at how you can separate from him. Its important for your mental health.
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