Newly single mum and loving it!

**tattoo_mama** · July 14th, 2009, 04:58 PM

hi all, ill run thru my story quickly:

As some of you know im newly single, with my gorgeous 8 week old daughter, and I COULDNT BE HAPPIER!!!

i wanted to leave when i was pg but had no opportunities, no money, i had support people around, but XP was controlling and i wasnt allowed to visit any of these support people. i was constantly cleaning up after him, walking on eggshells as to not upset him, dealing with his violent, emotional and destructive outbursts, and feeling generally depressed, unheard, unappreciated and most of all UNLOVED.

i was admitted to the Mother Baby Unit in hospital for severe PND for 4 weeks and used this opportunity and access to psycs and social workers to organise my 'escape'

have moved into my folks temporarily, mainly to get my depression under control with support from my family and friends, and in a few weeks am moving into a friends place, she also has a little girl (1 yr old).

i honestly thought single parenting was going to be 'too hard', and i know i have alot of trials and tribulations yet to go thru with my darling girl, but HECK i am so glad i left!
i feel like a weights been lifted off my shoulders, i can focus on my little girl, and focus on getting myself better, can look forward to acheiving MY goals and aspirations, hang out with whoever i want, spend time with my supportive family, not clean up after a messy rude slob and not put up with emotional and verbal abuse and physically intimidating behaviour.

i can honestly say i do not regret it one bit! he is harassing me every day but i can deal with it, i am so proud of myself for doing it, and so thankful for all the support i received...my family especially my mum, the staff at the MBU, my friends, and all my BB friends

thankyou if you bothered to read all my blab, haha, i just wanted to share how happy i am and would love to hear from other mums who find it 'easier' (for lack of a better word) parenting without thier XP/XH.

**Lisa** · July 14th, 2009, 05:08 PM

Congrats on making a successful break hun.
I was a single mum for years and definitely enjoyed it. I feel like I am very close to my 2 older children because of the time we had just the 3 of us. It was a beautiful thing to enjoy many different milestones in their lives by myself and I (selfishly!) enjoyed having them all to myself

Wishing you loads of love & happiness

**Visitor8** · July 14th, 2009, 05:08 PM

good on you hun. It can be hard to leave but it's usually always the best thing you do

Things get easier.

your a brave strong woman!

**ladybird11** · July 14th, 2009, 05:13 PM

I'm so glad you got out of that rut and are getting on with life hun!! For your sake and that of your daughters!!

Well done for having the courage to do it

**Lulu** · July 14th, 2009, 05:23 PM

Aaah you have made my day! I've been thinking about you lately.

Awesomely awesome. Isn't it amazing how much time you spend stressing, thinking, freaking out, worrying, justifying and brewing when you are in a crappy relationship??
Much more time for life and laughter

WOO HOO for drop kicking that out of your life - GOAL!

Yep, love it on my own too!

**~breeze~** · July 14th, 2009, 05:25 PM

Well done, you have been so strong & I'm so proud of you doing what you know is right for you & Jade.
Wishing you all the best for your future as a single mummy

xoxo

ETA: I do find it so much easier not having to worry about XH being in a bad mood etc & trying to keep him happy. I now have a life & can see & talk to anyone I like... I even managed to get a friendship back yesterday from my best friend through out primary school & high school! We lost our friendship due to something that happened with XH back in 1997! I sent her an email & told her I'd left him & I missed her & she wrote back! We have kids close to the same age too..... I'd never have spoken to her as long as I was still with XH.
So I say YES I do find life easier without having to live with XH.

**lauren22** · July 14th, 2009, 06:02 PM

Aren't you a strong woman?
always knew you were

well done honey as you said you can focus on your beautiful daughter now!
if there is anything i can do and i seriously mean it please just ask
again well done honey

**AngelPunks** · July 14th, 2009, 06:20 PM

I've been wondering how things were with you. Congrats on your move & your first step down an amazing life!!!

*kisses*
Punks

**grub17** · July 14th, 2009, 06:22 PM

tattoo-mama - you should be woohooing very loudly.

congrats on having the strenght to remove yourself from that situation. No partner should offer you any less than to feel loved, adored and treasured and not abused, used and disregarded.

What a fantastic role model for your daughter and for any other BB member who may be a few steps behind you and trying to find the strength to make the decision to leave.

I don't know you but I fee very proud of you.

ox

**Amaunet** · July 14th, 2009, 06:27 PM

Your post is an INSPIRATION! Whilst I am not in your position - I admire your bravery for taking back your life for you and your baby AND for sharing it with others - reading this will probably help many others make the big decision to get out of bad relationships and claim their lives back!

**danniellabella** · July 14th, 2009, 08:49 PM

I'm so sorry, I missed anything about you leaving until now. I'm also sorry that I haven't checked in with you more.

It sounds like you've made the right decision for you and for Jade though.

**Jas** · July 14th, 2009, 09:42 PM

That is awesome!!! Glad life is looking so wonderful for you and your little girl!

**tattoo_mama** · July 14th, 2009, 10:45 PM

Thanks so much for all of your words of support and advice! Yes its hard in the middle of the night when im absolutely buggered but XP wouldn't have helped anyway, if anything he would've made it worse by whinging about her crying etc so no loss there!

smiles4u · July 14th, 2009, 10:51 PM

If ever in the middle of the night you have a second to think about it ... remember WE all here reckon YOU are doing such an amazing job & ALWAYS stand proud with your choice ... I guarantee your little lady will thank you one day with lots of kisses & cuddles

**Gigi** · July 14th, 2009, 11:54 PM

good on you tattoo mama. how excellent to make a HUGE life change like that, and be so happy with the decision. that's fantastic.

i am still in the "hovering" stage. Terrified of making things worse.

**~breeze~** · July 15th, 2009, 11:21 AM

Thanks so much for all of your words of support and advice! Yes its hard in the middle of the night when im absolutely buggered but XP wouldn't have helped anyway, if anything he would've made it worse by whinging about her crying etc so no loss there!

So true

Glad you are seeing the positives
xxx