I Agree with Lulu
( watch him like a hawk)
but ultimatly do what makes you happy and what that little voice inside is telling you. Wish you all the love and happiness you deserve babe xx
lulu - yes, he knows I am not just going to forgive him all his sins and be straight back to where we were at, he knows he really has to try so hard at being the person he was and wants to be again. I am not as naive as I once was
Oh Widdly! YAY for you! I have to admit I am a romantic and optimist and heart so I am glad to hear this for you! I hope he has changed and that u will have your happily ever after! But if not no one here will be eye rolling we are here for you and a marriage and coparenting a child is no light matter so i dont think anyone would eyeroll over that lol
the good thing is you have standards that r clear to him and you and although he will still muck up sometimes i'm sure if he isnt really working to meet his end of the bargain you know u can do it on you own and you know u can be happy all by yourself!
Hi, I'm not rolling my eyes either, I just really hope it works out for you.
Never settle, ok? You know youre stronger than you ever gave yourself credit for before.
Hugs to you
jas - i am a romantic at heart too, and I knew that XH loved me still, he has just been arrogant and selfish these past couple of years, and finally he has seen the light and I truly believe he will do what ever it takes to keep me happy, just like he used to
rachel - I could definately not visit Sunday Night Guy again, have dleted his number from my phone, it would shatter XH if I went there again. XH knows full well that I know I can have any one I want now, so I am very sure that is enogh to keep him on his toes, and hey, if in the future he starts slipping back into old habits, there is always flirting with others to remind him of how much he wants me!
XH has been amazing, just like he was for the first 5 years we were together, it is so wonderful, I think we are falling in love all over again
BTW - he changed all the light bulbs yesterday LOL, and when we went shopping he had a lovely convo with the sales girl, at least I know he is listening to me now
he's doing very well so far Widdly... if he slips then print out the Core Values thread for him to read... might give him food for thought if he realises that lots of other men have their act together regarding living by certain standards.
I think you have a really good opportunity to make really positive changes in your relationship. You get to build your foundation of what you will & won't stand for. Layign out ground rules & explaining that particular things will never be compromised on will be good for both of you. You get be your own person, and not a trapped housewife; and he will either respect & honour that, or lose you again.
If he fall back into his old routine, and doesn't change - you have no guilt on moving on. You are now giving him the chance of a lifetime to be with the woman he loves, and be a better person. If he doesn't take that opportunity, then that is entirely his own problem & fault.
Are you living separately still? I would maintain that to keep him on his toes. If he's too arrogant to change lightbulbs in a rental, he may be expecting to moving back in with you sooner rather than later. Actually, for me, the lightbulbs would be a symptom of a bigger issue that he's not ready to care for himself properly, and wants to be managed/mothered still. Taking him back into your home before he's being independant could be a path for him to fall back into old routines.
Keep encouraging his good behaviour (I feel like I'm posting about dog or horse training!), and enjoy it.
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BellyBelly Member
he's doing very well so far Widdly... if he slips then print out the Core Values thread for him to read... might give him food for thought if he realises that lots of other men have their act together regarding living by certain standards.
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