I think you have a really good opportunity to make really positive changes in your relationship. You get to build your foundation of what you will & won't stand for. Layign out ground rules & explaining that particular things will never be compromised on will be good for both of you. You get be your own person, and not a trapped housewife; and he will either respect & honour that, or lose you again.

If he fall back into his old routine, and doesn't change - you have no guilt on moving on. You are now giving him the chance of a lifetime to be with the woman he loves, and be a better person. If he doesn't take that opportunity, then that is entirely his own problem & fault.

Are you living separately still? I would maintain that to keep him on his toes. If he's too arrogant to change lightbulbs in a rental, he may be expecting to moving back in with you sooner rather than later. Actually, for me, the lightbulbs would be a symptom of a bigger issue that he's not ready to care for himself properly, and wants to be managed/mothered still. Taking him back into your home before he's being independant could be a path for him to fall back into old routines.

Keep encouraging his good behaviour (I feel like I'm posting about dog or horse training!), and enjoy it.