I grew up without knowing my father and i always resented my mother for not "trying to make things work" or at least trying to have a friendship with him so that I could have known my father..... that was until I had my son..... I now know that my mother did the right thing by me all those years ago.. and probably for herself as well... My mother did it on her own but she was happy, she didnt have drama and was able to raise me the way she wanted.. she did not put my fathers name on my birth certificate so that if he did come back he could not get custody.. however that did mean she got no child support.
I know wish I was able to have that opportunity, my ex and i split when my son was 2 months old and he is now almost 13 months old and we are still always arguing and im constantly fighting to get any kind of money from him, he lies to the CSA and puts his new gf before his son... i pray everyday that he would just walk away as I would feel alot better... sometimes its easier to do it on your own.. this guy clearly does not deserve you or your beautiful son you are going to have... save yourself the drama and step back... thats what I have done.. i no longer fight with my ex for money or have daily fights.. i have given up on him and my life has never been happier.. sure the loss of money is hard on me but i would rather be happy and have less money than miserable and extra cash in my wallet...
Good luck in what ever decision you make.. as long as you are happy that is all that matters...
Thanks for the opinons from everyone and especially Georgie - you now have experienced both sides which is a pretty unique perspective.
I'll keep thinking it over - in the meantime I'm doing lots of work to make sure there is a great support network for my son and I, including lots of male role models. Although it's not the ideal situation to have a baby in I think my son is very much going to be loved and wanted by many people - I can't wait to meet him!
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