After 3 years of minimal contact with his family members, sperm donor has contacted me at this point in time i dont know why all i can presume is to see claire.
SD was very violent both towards me and DD he was very abusive emotionally and physically to the point DD1 is now 5 we left him a week after her 1st birthday and shes still very scared of confrontation even just raised voices.
Anyway i have seen a lawyer about going full custody but that would mean mediating with him first and i know he will harm me or her or do a runner with her, i feel my time in hiding from him is running out. We did think of moving interstate but now DH has this house which is the house of his dreams and i could get into serious trouble taking claire out of the stateto live.
I dont really know what the point of this post is, im in 2 minds i hate him and want him to disappear and keep ignoring him but on the other hand id love it to be all civil me get a break every now and then although i know this isnt possible as i doubt hes changed that much hes just got out of prison again but i dont want to look bad to the courts by not allowing her to see him kind of kidnapping her from him when there are no legal restrictions in place argh its so annoying!
IMO- if it was me and xp was physically abusive to my dd theres no way in the world id be letting him near her either but i dont no the exact details of ur situation so theres no right answer, i can totally understand why you are feeling the way you are hun
i would say you just need to go with your gut feeling!
ill be back with more to say dd's just getting into something lol xx
ill clarify my abusive towards her a little things like when he hit me i would sometimes be holding her or fall into her, he would get angry and drive wrecklessly whilst in the car with her.
Im thinking of going ahead doing the mediation who knows he may have changed but go for supervised visits to begin with until we all gain trust back. I hate his guts but that doesnt mean DD shouldnt be allowed a relationship with him and it would give me a break but i dont want him knowing where i live so it would be me dropping her off which is a lot of fuel and time argh its so confusing aparently hes changed (but honestly how long for this time) and genuinely misses her but he wouldnt miss her if he hadnt have stuffed up so many times
you seem to have made the right decision for you and your family with the mediation, like tashybaby dicussing your concerns and options with your lawyer is a great start.
Cant imagine how hard this must be, but just remember you have been doing such a great job with ur dd, i mean look at how beautiful she is. i know you will do the right thing for her but i know it cant be easy.
big hugs take care xx
Did you end up getting the DNA testing you were thinking about darl? I know it was causing some problems with the gf, but it sounds like it'd be a blessing if this guys not the father y'know?
The sperm donor wants in!
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. i know you will do the right thing for her but i know it cant be easy.
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