Well it's been a few months now since I've posted. I'm hoping that things are starting to move forward. My ex was living in the house we owned and after much convincing he's agreed to let me tak it over... I'm waiting for him to move out and doing everything I can to prod things along. I emailed him a whole list of rentals in an area which he was looking into moving into. This is the one who was not really my sons father but my son grew up with and had been there since I was pregnant. Initially I'd been quite scared to leave my son with him because he'd get drunk, sometimes verbally, physically definately emotionally abusive. He stopped drinking for a while and it was great he was civil and easy to get along with then. He actually started to show some sort of excitement when I dropped my son off. The other week he decided to start drinking again. I put my son in the car and I came back in and let it rip. He's all like "what do u care" and giving me all these excuses like about how he hates his job and how my son isnt his and all this rubbish. I said to him he shouldnt be drinking when he's looking after a 2 year old and reminded him of the fact he's living in my house. He said that he'll be out in 2 weeks... his car (which is in pieces in the garage) and everything but again he's back on the computer not moving. Although now he's trying to be nice again and doing my washing, dropped some stuff off at the tip for me... even took my son with him and gave him lunch looked after him for a bit longer. IT just does my head in!!.
Anyhow enough of my rant... my purpose of posting was basically around the fact that I'm terrified of whats ahead like how I'll manage financially and emotionally with my son (it's been tought we're going through the 2's at present). The whole prospect of dating again kind of terrifies me. I had a guy who seems really nice ask me out for coffee but I just made excuses and said I have a full on schedule (which is ind of true) but there is a guy who I do kind of like who is an old friend he was really nice to me especially the other day. He said that he admires the way that I've moved on so fearlessly and that he knows that its been tough and that I would have kicked my ex on his ass a long time ago but I was trying to be strong for Lachlan. He totally said what I needed to hear and what I wanted someone to say. I've been getting a bit peeved off with some of my friends because they run to me at the drop of the hat with silly little things but with everything I've gone through it feels like theyve been no where. I even tried to reach out to them and told them that I knew it was going to be tough and I shouldnt try and do it on my own. I've had like 1 or 2 emails and that was it.
Sorry for my pointless banter... but can anyone sympathise? like was it hard for u to get back out there and how do u keep going? how do u manage financially.etc and how have your kids adjusted to it all?
Mel