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re: the DNA testing. Talk to your lawyer, but it may be posible to get a court ordered DNA test. It's exxy and all parties need to have their samples taken by a doctor or nurse for it to be legal, but you may want to consider it. If you do ever go down this path, you'll need to do it while your DD is a minor or a court may not allow it to be in the best interests of the child.
this is WA specific, but I think the Family Court is federal anyway:
Legal Aid - Western Australia
ive bee looking at DD very closely since the whole dna thing came up and she has SD's eye shape a very unusual almond shape id never really picked it up before but its thereim going to have a big chat with DH tonight about what he thinks. I know DH thinks SD cant come here and hurt us blah blah but DH is gone all day and i dont think SD would anyway really as he does really seem to want to see claire but im scared to let him because of the past
Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
I did notice on FB someone said he had changed? What do you think about that....is this personal reliable? It would be nice to think he has (but probably not likely yeah?) If there was past violence I would think this would be addressed during mediation.
I would certainly take all precautions and not feel silly about it though.
xoxoxoxo GL
Registered User
nik, i have no advice huni just huge hugs.
remember no matter what happens with him you are a great mummy and claire will always have you love and stability.
sd reminds me of my own sd (no violence but a nasty, manipulative, bitter man). i havent seen him in years and i don't call him my father. my step-father is my dad and actually i only talk to him no sd or mother. mediation sounds like a good idea and supervised visits are a must if there is a risk of him taking her until he can prove hes changed and can be trusted.
lots of hugs and i hope everything gets better. xox
2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
wow first off im sorry to hear you have to deal with this. Second i would suggest the mediation.Im currently doing the "mediation thing" right now. My ex was/is also a violent controlling scary man. And you dont have to let the child see him untill you have the papers in place. Also if he has been in jail im pretty sure he isnt allowed to have the child on his own(if it went to court that is) so you can ask for supervised visits.
If you dont go for that there are also options there so you dont have to see him or him you. there a centers where you can go and drop her off(to qualified people) and when you have gone he is then allowed to come get her.This way your paths dont cross.
I would say go and get some advice first but make sure you sit down and write out all the things you want to know...no matter how small it is that way you wont forget anything while there.
thats the toughie LuLu the person i heard it from was a mutual friend of both of ours and i have no reason not to take her word that he has changed shes always filled me in on where he was, what he was doing etc and has always been reliable. I feel like im having a tug of war with myself on what to think!
Writing everything down is a great idea! I will definately be talking to my lawyer, i was just so at ease when he was locked up he was away and there was nothing he could do
2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
I know what you mean. I like to tell myself he(my ex) wants to see his child so he wont risk that by hurting us. That would be stupid......but then again he did fall out of the dumb tree lolWriting everything down is a great idea! I will definately be talking to my lawyer, i was just so at ease when he was locked up he was away and there was nothing he could do
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