wow first off im sorry to hear you have to deal with this. Second i would suggest the mediation.Im currently doing the "mediation thing" right now. My ex was/is also a violent controlling scary man. And you dont have to let the child see him untill you have the papers in place. Also if he has been in jail im pretty sure he isnt allowed to have the child on his own(if it went to court that is) so you can ask for supervised visits.

If you dont go for that there are also options there so you dont have to see him or him you. there a centers where you can go and drop her off(to qualified people) and when you have gone he is then allowed to come get her.This way your paths dont cross.

I would say go and get some advice first but make sure you sit down and write out all the things you want to know...no matter how small it is that way you wont forget anything while there.