Oh Kate, I'm so sorry you are going through this . You have handled yourself so well. I really hope Craig is just talking out of fear and guilt and won't walk out of Lachlan's life.
You're going to be great on your own, you're a fantastic mum to Lachlan and a gorgeous person .
So sorry for what you are experiencing at this moment. Sounds like you have very rationaly and calmly come to your decision and feel confident in it. Continue to follow your heart and be a wonderful mother to your little boy.
Don't let your ex guilt you into feeling any more anger that you choose. It just sounds like he's trying to get a reaction out of you. You have chosen to seperate and from now on your decisions are your own. For example who you talk to...
Good luck i am sure there is an extremely bright and happy future out there for you and your precious little man xoxoxoxo
Kate my x kicked me out to be with a "friend", who had kicked her hubby out to be with mine - so I have an inkling of what you're going through. We didn't have kids, so that is different - he has kids but never sees them.
It is hard, days you wonder why you are alone, then you have days that you relish the fact you're alone and you are getting on with your life, improving yourself, getting stronger, learning from things that have happened. Don't beat yourself up over this, it does get easier.
What a terrible thing to have to find out, its horrible how often you hear of that though, the woman being supported by a couple turning around and having an affair with the husband.
I think you are behaving in a mature and rational way and are a fantastic role model for your son.
Single parenting can be hard but it can be wonderful too, we on BB are all here for you so you are not alone.
Kate, I hope you are finding the support you need from family and true friends right now. I would ignore what xH might be saying to everyone else, he will need some sympathy and support from his family and friends, but he's hardly going to be fooling them with the reasons for your split. You need to focus on you and your DS right now, nothing else.
Have you sought legal advice as to your separation?
I think that ultimately he's trying to guilt you into reacting a certain way by saying that he won't see Lachlan if you leave. And d'ya know what, I think you should call his bluff on it. Correct me if I'm wrong, but even if he signs over custody he will still be required to pay child support, and if he chooses not to take advantage of any access rights, then it's his loss. Sure, Lachlan will most likely experience some confusion initially, but ultimately, what will he get from a role-model who is prepared to use him as a bargaining chip?
You've left because he's admitted to long term infidelity. The only reason he told you was because it looked like he was going to get dobbed in anyway - he's not thinking of you, he's made a pathetic attempt at damage control.
As for 'not being able to talk to his brother', well, isn't that his brother's choice? He's again trying to manipulate your reaction, although it's not unusual even in an amicable split for one partner to 'take custody' of any common friends, if for nothing else but to avoid discomfort in social situations, it sounds to me like he's attempting further damage control. Firstly by trying to have full control over the story so that he can continue to play the victim, and secondly, by making you feel isolated from your own support network so that you will return to him.
You are right in that you are handling this a lot better than he is, with much more dignity and maturity. How he's reacted gives a really good indication to his personality - he may want you back, but he wants it to be on his terms, and he's quite prepared to continue to manipulate and deceive to get what he wants.
Stay strong sweet - there will come a day when you are really glad you walked away, even if it's not today.
I haven't read all your posts, but all I want to say is push on. You can do it.
Him saying he doesn't want to see Lachlan sounds to me like his way of trying to control you. You love your baby & want him to have a dad & that might be enough to make you stay.
Trying to control the people you talk to? He never had that right before, don't give it to him now.
And finally, screw him! It is poor you. He did this to you. He did this to himself. He doesn't like that people are telling him what a **** he is for doing this to you! I say let him deal with it. He brought it all on himself.
If you give in & go back hun, he may think that he's gotten away with it. He'll just think next time he has to be more careful. Don't set yourself up for disaster.
Be strong xx
i am really sorry Kate! Big hugs to you and your little man! I hope you can find peace!
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