What could she be up to?

[Marlene]

No court orders in place Maz.

Until she got her new BF it was no problem us seeing the kids, then he came on the scene and that was the end of that.

Well, I'd be doing something about that ASAP!! She has no right to withhold his children. It is not fair on him or the kids! Fight for them babe!!

[ladybird11]

I've already tried to get DH to go down that line.

I will keep trying, its a delicate subject as you can understand, he misses them so much.

He's emotionally exhausted from the whole situation to do with her, fights, deception, lies etc, and we aren't yet in a financial position to fight either. I just wish she had any concious....her attitude is a far cry from her original 'they're your kids too, I'd never take them away from you' line...!

[Rivlas]

When we needed DD's birth cert we just went to the city, filled out a form and waited in line. Took over an hour but wasn't really a hassle.
I hope he is not paying maintenance if she has decided he cannot see his children. Not sure she would have a leg to stand on if it ever went to court.
Let's just hope it is something innocent that she wants them

[ladybird11]

Yep, she gets just over $1,000 each month from DH...

[Inanna]

Child support isn't paid on the condition that a child has visitation iwth the other parent. It is paid to cover the costs of raising that child. The more Child support paid to a parent the less FTB part A & B is payable.

I too don't understnad why he doesn't see a Solicitor and organise for some visits. Unless there has been violence or an AVO or his children are old enough to decline contact he would most likely get some contact.

I hope you can all work it out soon.

[Just Me]

If there is no court order in place, she can organise passports and take them out of the country.

Legal aid does custody stuff all the time so you can go through there so he gets to see his kids. The first step of any custody stuff is mediation - sitting down with a third party present and trying to come up with a solution that suits everyone. It is very rare in custody hearings now that it is awarded to only one parent. Even in situations where one parent is clearly not fit to take care of children, they are still given supervised visitation. I think the courts are starting to acknowledge more and more how important it is for children to have both their parents in their lives. I would really encourage you to have a chat to your DH about his kids. They are worth him fighting for the right to see them and it will only get harder as they get older. Don't wait for her to become civil. It may never happen.

Without a custody order, she doesn't need permission from your DH to do lots of things with the kids and she may need a birth certificate for it. Unless there is a custody order, it is the same as if you were living and raising your kids together, only one parent needs to sign for permission.

I hope she isn't up to anything. She may just want the BC because she is worried about what your DH may do, or it may be her way of getting some power and control in the situation. Who knows.

Good luck with everything.

[Fuzzywuzzy]

We got a passport for DD recently in QLD and because I filled out the form and got DP to sign it they actually called DP to confirm his consent. So unless she is willing to forge his signature and lie to them it is unlikely that she will be able to get passports.

[Inanna]

Why not just ask her what she wants them for if you need to know???

It is not a simple process to get a passport without the other party signing... I am sure it's just a mundane reason that is important to her.

Again, I hope your husband steps up & organises to see his kids - for their sakes. Kids need both parents in their life.

[ladybird11]

She won't divulge why she wants it, and we don't have any method to contact her anyway - no known home address or phone number. And DH's mum won't enlighten us to their whereabouts either.

DH has had enough of it all quite frankly, I respect everyones opinion about him trying to fight for his kids etc - but at this point in his life, he won't do it for reasons I can't state (due to our employemnt). Every now and then it comes up in topic - he knows he has my support, but I'm not going to push him into starting another battle with his ex - even if it is for the kids I'm sorry to say. On top of that my mother has about 10 mths to live and we don't need any additional stress with courts, legal fee's and time off of work. It may sound selfish - perhaps it is - but we're done with fighting with her for good.

With everything we've had to deal with in the last 18 mths, my DH has certainly stepped up many, many times - and I couldn't ask for a better father for my kids.

Thanks again ladies!

[Rouge]

It must be tough leesa, I'm so sorry you are both going through this. And I am so sorry to hear about your mum. I think its a fair call for you to tell her to get her own copies. It sounds like she's not making life easy for you guys or for her children. But the thing is even if you choose not to fight now, one day the children will see it for what it really is and who knows how you will both feel in 12 months time.

Goodluck!

[Amity]

If he's concerned about them leaving the country permanently, then get an Airport Watch List Order and a Location Order directed to Centrelink, to enable her to be served with the Application.

Should only be done if he has the evidence though...

[Trillian]

Leesa, I understand and I'm sure it wouldn't have been an easy thing for him to decide I hope that when they are older they want to start a relationship with their dad.

[Rivlas]

It sounds like you have a bit to deal with at the moment.
My thoughts are with you both at this time and I hope things start to settle down for you..
Knowing he has your full support with whatever decision is made, this will be easier on him on whatever decisions he makes regarding the children.

[Inanna]

I hope your mum is not too uncomfortable. This all must be very very difficult for you ...